Being publicly reproved

by Strawberryfieldsforever 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Strawberryfieldsforever

    Years ago my husband and I were publicly reproved. We had gone out with some "worldly friends" from work and went dancing and had a few drinks too many. Well someone must have been around to see us and told the elders. We were brought in and talked to and then they decided we needed to be publicly reproved. The day of the announcement meeting, I was sooo upset that I couldn't eat. At the meeting when they announced it, I started to cry. My husband was grinding his teeth. I could see his face all red. That was really hard to go through. It just opens up all kinds of possibilities for gossip among the friends. Did any of you ever get publicly reproved?

  • El blanko
    El blanko

    I knew of a servant in a congregation who should have been !

    Whilst dictating to others the rights and wrongs within their lives, he used to nip off after Friday meetings and knock back 2-3 cans of 9% beer and then one night vomited into a sisters sink. Leaving a mess everywhere. He was one of the most hypocritical worms I had the pleasure (?) to meet. He also managed to systematically undermine my own confidence in almost every social situation we would attend together. But I had to put on a broad Christian smile and just take it.

    If he assosiated with me now, he would find that my mind has hardened up in many areas.

    Such is life.

  • stillajwexelder

    Not personally -- but I have announced a few -- did not like doing -- and I look back now with shame

  • Sassy

    I was publicly reproved and yes I sat through the announcement. It wasn't easy and there were tears sliding down my face when it was announced. I had sat close to the wall to try to be less conspicuous. They really should have disfellowshipped me though. I had done things which were way off the charts for behavior. If it had been a Dfing accouncement, I couldn't have been there to hear it.. This was hard enough.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Did they tell you they were going to announce it that night.

    If it would have been me, and I knew... then I wouldn't have gone that night.

    Still.. it really hurts, I wasn't there when they announced my disfellowshipping. I have no idea when they announced it. .. we received our disfellowshipping by mail.

    I wonder it disfellowship ones by e-mail now?

    Sorry you had to go through that humiliating and hurtful thing.

    It reminds me of how some teachers humiliate a student in front of the whole class. I hate that!


    Special K

  • Sassy

    It definately is a humiliating experience. It is hard on everyone. Family members, etc.. I know of announcements where half the KH was in tears.. how can this be loving?

  • czarofmischief

    Yep. Been publicly reproved. It was actually kind of pleasant to get some attention. The congregation was very nice about it. But that was during the reign of certain elders who were actually very good at their jobs. All that changed...

    I was actually present for the DF announcement - yeesh, what a trip THAT was. Still, it was a useful expereince and taught me the strength of rebellion!


  • garybuss

    I thank the sleaze bags elders and the drunk elders and the abusive elders. They are the ones who pull back the curtain like the little dog Toto so we can see the Wizard and so we can see it's all a sham and a scam. Without them I might have stayed on some level and still been waiting for Armageddon so I didn't have to face or live life. This is better. Thanks elders! GaryB

  • stillajwexelder

    Humiliation is all about control -- and we all know the WTBTS are control freaks

  • willyloman

    The whole public/private reproof thing is widely misunderstood by most publishers, and some groups of elders apply the rule inconsistently. If they're going 'by the book,' the rule is simple: If you did it, they 'reprove' you, which really means to 'counsel' you but has a much harsher ring to it, doesn't it (and why do you suppose that is?). If no one else knows about the offense, the reproof remains private. If others know about it, the reproof is made public.

    It's rules like this that leave little or no room for compassion, empathy, and love, concepts all foreign to the vast majority of WTS disciples.

  • Sassy

    I think what is embarassing is that we allowed ourselves to be a party to that. We let ourselves be under that control. I still react from instinct because of them. I hate that control.

  • Blueblades

    For conduct unbecoming a Christian.

    Changed to:So and So is publicly Reproved.

    Now you gossipers can have something to talk about.

    Private reproof,if no one knows about it?The elders and their wives know about it!

    The person would have to confess to the elders privately and then depending on which elders you face,private or public reproof would follow.There is no right or wrong procedure,the elders do what they want.I can prove my statements because of my own experiences when serving on committees and with the CO.input when he was not even on the Judicial Committee.


  • Voice

    In light of all that was said in this thread, is it any wonder that outsiders have little or no confidence in the authority of the WTBTS?

    The information that was volunteered in this and other threads like it, will, most certainly, prove to be most useful to the opponents of the WTBTS. I am sure they can use it to demonstrate the non-divine authority behind everything the WTBTS says. I am equally sure that, in light of everything that I have seen so far in this thread, it shouldn't take a person with a PHD to see the cultic nature of the WTBTS.

    A WTBTS opponent might well ask: In light of such damaging evidence against the WTBTS, should it come as a surprise to discover that a large percentage of JWs have severe psychiatric problems? Or, isn't this indisputable proof of the cultic control that the WTBTS has over its "flock"? Or, in light of its disfellowshipping doctrines, how could the WTBTS possibly be accepted as the only organization that is inspired by the ultimate source of truth and righteousness?

  • Sunnygal41

    Just publicly disfellowshipped and could have cared less. I was not there, because I was already full speed ahead towards my new life!

  • Sassy

    Good for you Sunny!!

  • Maverick

    Any reproof is public. It is a lie that these men keep confidences. Anyone counseled should except that every detail of their transgression will be common knowledge within one week. And that the whole policy is totally man made and nowhere in the Bible. Maverick...been there on both sides.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Hey... GARYBUSS..... whose the cutie in your avatar...???

    cute kid..


    Special K

  • aojumper


    I was out with a "friend", worldy you know, and he was smoking a cigar. I showed him how to blow smoke rings (something I learned from a JW) and low and behold I get to hear about it from my sister who says "So and So -(The biggest alchoholics in the congregation) saw you smoking a cigar at TGIFridays in Bank one Ballpark". I simply explained that I wasn't smoking I was demonstrating the art of blowing smoke rings.

    Then my mother hops in, you need to go to the elders, or I will have to.

    That day happened to be Sunday... I pulled aside an elder that I kinda got along with and explained that I was demonstrating the art of blowing smoke rings... He got veeeeery grave and said "that probably wasn't a good idea... Just a moment..."

    WHAM! Judicial Comittee! The Result - Public Reproof.

    I wasn't there for the announcement, in fact, I never went back.

    No Regrets!

  • Aikon

    Control Freaks EH??????????

    I got a public reprove behind my back!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not know anthing about it,A member of my family contacted me" guess who go a public reprove to nite" Me "who " Relative "YOU"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And I had not been to the Kingdom Hall for 6 months. Would you belive it.

    Well, folks the end of this story is that the P.O. went to Prison for child sexuall abuse in 2000, he got 2 and half years, and while he was in prison he was disfellowshiped, and bloody hell he appealed against it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????????????????????? But was upheld and now out off prison hiding like a rat..

  • cyberguy

    This is a terrible practice of JW?s! When I was an elder, we very rarely publicly reproved anyone. What?s the point? We only did it when there was something like a pregnancy, but the woman was unwed. And the Society's view (better or worse) was that the congregation need to know the matter was delt with. However, my JW-girlfriend hung herself not long after being publicly reproved (this was some time ago)! I?m sure it contributed to what happened! And in her case, similar to yours, there was absoluty no need to do it!

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