I watched the video in the original post. The video creator starts out on a good foot -
- Happiness comes from within
- Happiness does not come from someone else
This is true. Happiness is an internal experience. We suffer from a lack of happiness when we believe that some person, some job, some hobby, some experience is going to fulfill us.
That being said, the video creator contradicts himself by stating that happiness comes from friends and hobbies.
The video creator is also correct in that a person has to make sacrifices when entering a committed relationship. Well, that is the definition of love - sacrifice of self for the other's benefit. I think that is where modern society starts to see trouble. I think we have to look at human history and the history of major to kind of get our bearings.
About 150,000 years ago modern human appeared on Earth. Humans were a hunter/gatherer society. It was an egalitarian society in that both men and women were equal. Both men and woman hunted and gathered food to survive.
Things changed when human turned into an agrarian society. This is where sperate roles for men and women first developed and then eventually came patriarchy. Men having natural upper body strength cultivated the earth while women bore children and handled the home. Add to that religion, primarily Abrahamic religions, and now the patriarchy is in full effect. It was acceptable for men to have multiple wives simultaneously. However, this produced 2 problems - 1) inheritance disputes and 2) violence due to women being treated as a resource and men with multiple wives being viewed as targets for men with none. So, that became no longer acceptable.
Marriage was about ensuring there was a male heir to inherit a man's estate. Women were not allowed to own property. Additionally, marriages where used to increase a families wealth or expand royalty's kingdom. The problem was there was often no romance in this arrangement and infidelity was the only way to satisfy that desire. Sex outside of marriage was prohibited by religion and sometimes even by law.
Then in the mid-18th century Europe we got the Romance Movement. This movement was seen in art, music, and literature. The ideology of Romance is that we all have that one special person out their that can satisfy every role and vice versa. Marrying for love was introduced and adopted. The problem is that romance is not love and the myth the Romance Movement produced skews reality.
Now jump forward to the mid to late 20th century. We got the women's liberation movement. Women realized that, like their ancestors, they aren't below men and do not need men. In addition, we as a race moved into a period of enlightenment and rationality. Religion and a fear of eternal damnation were no longer an issue. People accepted sex outside of marriage. Relationships were no longer about starting families (i.e. having children). Being married and not having children is widely accepted.
Laws involving marriage were adopted to support families and not marriage. Tax credits, employer provided insurance for spouse and children are just some examples of such laws. Then came divorce laws.
Divorce started becoming normalized is the latter quarter of the 20th century. Society was still looking through the lens of antiquated philosophies such as women cannot earn a living like men, a woman's place is in the home, and women are better suited for child rearing. So we got child support laws and alimony.
So, here we are in the first half of the 21st century. Does the legal institution of marriage make sense?
I like marriage. I love my wife. I like being a father and look forward to being a grandfather. I know that I am most content when spending my time doing things with my wife and children. I used to think my career would make me happy. I learned that is not true almost too late.
