newbie with a cliche post

by jukesjoker 20 Replies latest social relationships

  • jukesjoker
    jukesjoker

    i like many young non-jws i have meet a jw and fell in love,but i think what me different from the rest is i feel special. i feel like i have been waiting like this all life from the time i was a kid to know, not a very good description, but i do feel that i a situation where i could win her, i feel that the starts are aligned for this. i know that there are 5 weekly meetings, but can anybody describe them, and also the district assembly or something like takes place a couple times a year ? sorry about bad grammar im in a hurry

  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    The five meetings are: Book Study (1 hour, usually held in someone's house, small group); Theocratic Ministry School (45 minutes to 1 hour, depending on how they drone one -- this consists of four short "talks" or "presentations" on an assigned Bible subject, to practice the technique of talking to people at the doors they knock on) followed by the Service Meeting (45 minutes to 1 hour, consisting of about 2-4 talks about different field service stuff, like how to present this month's magazines, how to dress properly, why a good little Witness shouldn't be on an apostate web site, etc.); Public Talk, held on Sunday and supposedly a generic subject that people can invite Bible students to, followed by the Watchtower Study, where one of the articles in the Watchtower is considered in question-and-answer form.

    Twice a year there's a circuit assembly, a one-day and a two-day. Once a year there's a district convention, usually three days long.

    Now, you would be expected to not only attend these meetings, but prepare for them, comment at them, go from door to door at least 5-10 hours a month, and AT ALL TIMES behave as if the whole world was judging your God on the basis of your conduct. This schedule is designed to use up so much of your time that you will be too tired to plan anything fun, or work overtime for some extra money, or have any kind of a social life. They do not celebrate holidays, except for the Memorial of Christ's death, which is a very solemn affair each spring (that's another meeting in addition to what's mentioned above). Sometimes there's a treat in the form of a visiting Bethelite (someone who works at the New York headquarters) or missionary, and they'll show slides or give yet ANOTHER talk, usually on a Saturday afternoon.

    Are you sure you're THAT much in love?

    Nina

  • one_ugly_time
    one_ugly_time
    sorry about bad grammar im in a hurry

    What's the hurry? Love takes time and energy.

    i know that there are 5 weekly meetings, but can anybody describe them, and also the district assembly or something like takes place a couple times a year ?

    Nothing beats experience. If you really want to find out what they are like, go to them. I am all in favor of knowledge and to share my experience would sound derogatory. Go with an open mind.

    i feel that the starts are aligned for this.

    Stars ?? Do you believe in astrology or sex under the starlite skies ? Which starts are aligned for what ?

    but i do feel that i a situation where i could win her,

    Win ? Is loving someone about winning or loosing ? hmmm... not sure what to say.

    but i think what me different from the rest is i feel special

    Everyone is different and special in their own right. It shows that you have a good sense of yourself to believe that you are special and don't need someone to make you feel that way.

    i have meet a jw and fell in love

    They call it falling in love for a reason. Some people calling it "tripping over yourself". Others might refer to it by saying "Help me. I've fallen and I can't get up". Then, there are others that believe that they found a missing piece of themselves (lost in childhood somewhere) and this person will fit the piece just perfectly.

    i like many young non-jws

    I would stick with the young non-jws that you like... those relationships have a greater chance of succeeding... assuming when you say young that they are the appropriate age for you.

    I wish you well in your journey.

    ugly

  • darkuncle29
    darkuncle29

    Hello.

    What qualities did you find attractive in your witness friend? [Mind you, I am not nessesarily finding falt with her.] The red yummy apple that Snow White bit into looked appealing. Is it her emotional maturity? Kindness? What ever her traits, you need to realize that JWs often are very good actors, often even deceiving themselves.

    I think that going to a few meetings is an excellent idea. When you arrive before meeting and before you leave afterwards, you may be warmly greeted by various individuals. This will sweep you of your feet. This tactic is called "Love Bombing". If you can see through the sharade to the oily manipulative intentions, then there may be hope for you yet. Hope that is to extract yourself unscathed and intact.

    I would consider the whole meeting thing, as if I had been invited as a dinner guest by vampires. I know they are vampires, but they do not know that I know. From this perspective, how do their actions and possible motives feel to you now?

    As for getting her out, well, I'd be disapointed in you if you didn't try. Work toward the best, be willing to accept the worst.

    Good luck.

  • imallgrowedup
    imallgrowedup

    Jukes,

    Welcome to the board! Be sure to take a look around at all the information on this site. There is a lot to learn about this religion.

    Also, if you get a moment, please take a look at this thread. It was posted not too long ago by a non-JW woman who fell in love with a JW-man, and her journey. It also provides various links to others like you, and like this woman.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/63067/965946/post.ashx#965946

    I hope this gives you some insight into what you may be facing.

    I wish you luck in your decision.

    growedup

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Look newbie, let me save you a lot of trouble. Go to Home Depot and buy one of those rubber mallets.

    Now when you think of this JW hit yourself on the top of your head with the mallet.

    If you can't bring yourself to do this have a friend or relative do it for you. (If you become a JW in the future this friend or relative will be glad you let them do this!)

    Anytime you think you want to go to the Kingdom Hall or marry this JW follow the steps discribed above!

    Take your lumps and have headaches NOW and save yourself all kinds of time!

    Maverick

  • Another Guy
    Another Guy

    Hey Jukes,

    Please first read my very first post http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/61246/1.ashx now don't stop there read my latest post http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/20/64338/1.ashx . Dude I know how you feel and i'm not just saying that! and if your still wondering about things after reading my post's I urge you to just question, It's one of the most informative ways to learn. Also look out for concernedmama caus I've tipped her off. Let me give you a couple of hints before making any decisions PLEASE!!!! read Crisis of Conscience by Raymond Franz! Specially chapter five, but the whole darn book is very good, but probably not a good idea to mention to this jw that your reading it until you have. And don't try and argue scriptures after reading Crisis of Conscience you will find much bigger probs.

    Any more questions please dont hesitate to Message me!

    I like many others here just want to help you with our experiences!

  • Celia
    Celia
    i like many young non-jws i have meet a jw and fell in love,but i think what me different from the rest is i feel special. i feel like i have been waiting like this all life from the time i was a kid to know,

    Ugh.... ok, grammar and spelling aside.... ***Sigh*** (American Public School education)... What is it with all these young people falling in love with young JWs ? These folks come out of the woodwork every other day it seems.... You would think that there are millions of JWs boys and girls around, and a "wordly" guy or gal can't help but meet and fall in love with one of them

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Hi Jukes,

    Please make sure you read Another Guy's threads, and contact him to see what his experience has been.

    Also have a look at: http://members.aol.com/beyondjw/inlove.htm

    and http://www.freeminds.org/. A JW live a complicated and restricted life, and tends to be a bit deceptive about all the complications till you are up to your eyeballs in them. It generally does not turn out well. Read, and keep posting if you need more information.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Celia, I have wondered the same thing, why so many mixed relationships form. Jgnat did a thread on it a while ago, too.

    I have acted as a support and information source for many normal people involved with JWs in the last couple of years. There is certain things that are common to the relationships. Remember the whole "double life" thing is very much a part of it. Ordinary people know very little about the dark side of the Watchtower.

    Many JWs come across as nice, cleancut people. Lots of normal people are looking for someone who seems really nice and clean living. There are very nice people who happen to be JWs.

    The JW partner tends to MINIMIZE the restrictions and rules of their religion. They often don't mention much about it at all till they are "outed", or till they feel guilty about any intimate activity, or the consideration of marriage makes the rules, difficulties and complications come out in the open.

    The nonJW partner is often somewhat naive about why they never meet any family or friends of the JW partner.

    Sometimes, when they do become puzzled by aspects of their loved one's character or behavior, start realizing that the JW religion/cult is part of it, they come looking on the internet.......and they come here.

    The WORST thing we can say is" RUN, RUN" with no explanation. Hey, they love the person enough to be looking into things, they aren't going to break up unless they understand the reason why it isn't going to work. Some patience with them, please.

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