Have any of you experienced this ? (page 3)

codeblue

Dear Frantic:

I too thought being in the "truth (tm) was that of having a healthy,secure marriage. I was raised a JW and dutifully married one when I was 21....imagine my fears when husband #1 was unfaithful before the 1st anniversary....and before my 10th was unfaithful with another JW....Jerry Springer would have a field day with this topic...ONly God knows who all husband #1, a JW, was unfaithful with. The whole 19 years of my marriage....Now think of me...a very faithful wife ...not in the know...freaking out thinking I have AIDS...upon my final learning of unfaithfullness...geez...those kind of husbands need to be SHOT.

Codeblue

codeblue

So sorry all you readers here. I am NOT a violent person...I had been a very trusting, naieve JW wife.....let this be a lesson to all trusting JW wives...if you have doubts...they are probably true...If you don't...please start reading the signs and don't be so trusting with your husbands....

Codeblue

seedy3

Yeah I agree, I do not think it's that unusual, I have a boyhood friend of mine I just found on the internet, about 2 years ago, he said the same thing happened to him. His wife started having an affaif with another Bro in the congregation, both got DF'd, my friend divorced her and the adulterating couple ended up getting married. They still went to the same KH, and were very well accepted, after reinstatement, yet my friend felt like he was treated as the outcast in the Congregation.

Seedy

kgfreeperson

I think the only difference in JW congregations is that the R & F truly believe in the "purity" and "cleanliness" of the organization. So all this betrayal seems that much worse. I do think the more repressive the group the more people act out sexually, though.

~joyfullyout~

well, the night after my judicial hearing one of the elders responsible for my disfellowshipping came over to my apartment and hit on me, and he was married.

I was single, 19, and disfellowshipped for having roomates who were men. Even though I said "they are my roomies, not my sexual partners" I couldn't prove that I hadn't slept with them...duh...so they kicked me on out.

Frantic

Codeblue, that is shocking. Before your first anniversary? How old was he? And, if I read correctly, you stayed with him after you knew he was cheating on you?

Frantic.

Insomniac

Never married, but a brother I was sort of dating slept with my best friend (a sister). When I found out and was REALLY upset, she ran to the elders and acted all contrite so she would not get df'd. I think they both got public reproof; she then called me up in order to bad mouth him, then he was trying to be my "friend", and finally I had reached the end of my patience and cut off all contact with both of them. It was such a tawdry little soap opera.

Alana

Yes, I have heard of this often....sometimes it began with elders giving 'spiritual support' to sisters, and then it turns into something sexual. In my case, my first husband & I were good little virgin JWs...we moved to a bigger congregation where his brother went. His brother was known to hit on any gals, especially non-JW. He was married. Well, he was also in a 'relationship' with an widow who was about 10 years older than us....who had also tried to break apart of couple of elders' marriages. She almost succeeded with his marriage. Instead, they were told to stay away from each other, and we were new in the congregation and didn't know all that had gone on....and he asked us to befriend this sister, as she needed friendship. He took all the blame for their relationship and said she needed us. She became my instant friend and eventually my husband's best friend....too much of a friend. We divorced and they moved in together...until her drinking and blackouts and throwing things at him became too much for him.

I have the firm belief that many times things like this happen because of the sheltering and being naive about relationships with members of the opposite sex in general. When you are raised as JWs, you truly don't get to experience normal relationships and get all mixed up...sometimes marrying for the wrong reasons to people that you don't really know.....then others come along and you either find them more compatible or they can be like predators and you don't know how to identify them and you can get caught up with them and their schemes.

One of my best JW friends (who is now DA'd for many years) was not raised as a child as a JW and she was much more keen on seeing people for who they really are and was more balanced in her relationships because she had experienced real life and real people.

Just my thoughts.....

'Alana'

greatteacher

Alana, I agree with you completely about the negative effects of sheltering JW adolescents and teens. I was one of those sheltered teens, sneaking around with JW girls, one of girls felt guilty about "immorality" and confessed. I was reproved, but the worst part was the incredible guilt trip everyone laid on me, as if I did something insane or unnatural. When I finally realized that I didn't do anything wrong, I improved greatly emotionally.

Also, it seems as though in almost every congregation there are stories of marital infidelity. All of the local congregation in the area where I grew up had incidents that everyone seemed to know about. Plus, in many cases when these marital scandals take place all of the people involved stay in the same congregation, That's crazy!

stillajwexelder

yes -but with a none JW

Have any of you experienced this ?

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