As an Ex JW now, how would you react if you met your Bible study conductor?

by EverApostate 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Diogenesister

    Angel of the North "BAB-tism" !! I think you unwittingly created a great new description for JW baptism LoL!

    Ever Apostate @ Sadly my study conductor passed away, younger than average, from lung cancer over 12 years ago, despite never having smoked. Despite this I often have dreams of talking to her and very respectfully explaining my feelings around WTBTS. I say this because she was an exceptionally good person with love for all - the best type of Christian - and it hurts me that, as a convert, she wasted most of her adult life slaving for the WTBTS. She also raised her kids in the org, although refused to shun her disfellowshipped child I believe the stress caused by the shunning rules, when they tightened up, contributed to her developing a cancer she never should have had. Her husband was baptised, something I believe he did to ensure family unity, and fairly quickly stopped attending following her death. He is very angry about her death....I want so much to talk to him but I fear telling him what I know about Rutherford, Russell, Franz et al may make his rage against the org/life/God worse and hence make him feel more retched.

    If your study conductors are healthy and cannot come between you and your mother or wife then a calm, polite explanation is well in order. One has to think, primarily, of any further cult victims they may create/convert. Sadly, the nicer the jw as a person the more *likely* they are to convert more people. Especially the vulnerable, as I was, a parent-less young child.

  • Londo111

    As the third generation JW on both sides of the family, I didn't really have a study conductor. My parents sporadically had a family study which was essentially the Watchtower lesson for that week, but often included me when studying with other people who got dunked (in the end which had the same effect).

  • out4good4

    I've ran into my study conductor several times......the fat bastard!!!!

    He was cordial to me, as my wife was along and I would've surely made him look like the Ass I now believe him to be in front of her if he got out of line.

  • James Mixon
    James Mixon

    You are a A-hole, you screwed up my life for 20 years and now i'am trying to unravel the mess...He passed years ago, so if he's in heaven I take it all back..Thinking about it, he can't be in heaven because all his kids walked away from the borg so yes he is a A-hole........

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    You said your former Bible study Conductor (s) were good people so they most likely didn't have any ill intent in teaching you what they had come to know themselves. Treat them as you would like to be treated yourself. After all, when you were a JW you may have studied with someone or may have brought them some literature that influenced them greatly.

    I've run into old JW friends who didn't realize I was no longer a JW and they start asking me about JW things in my area. I tell them that I realize that this won't come as good news to them, but being a JW just wasn't working for me any longer, so a number of years ago I stopped attending the meetings.

    Sometimes they want to know why and I've told them, only to have everything I've said, promptly dismissed. Lately rather than explain anything to them and end up in some kind of debate that doesn't end well, I simply say:

    Me: I discovered a few things I should have known before making the decision to be baptized as a JW.

    Them: what??

    Me: Well, let's just leave it at that, but don't worry, I'm doing well. I'm still the same person as before only now I'm not one of Jehovah's Witnesses. How have you's the family?

    At that point they usually get the picture and since you're being polite or haven't said anything they can argue with, the ball ends up in their court. It's up to them to change the topic or wriggle their way out of the conversation.

    Sometimes people want to be lied to and they are quite willing to punish anyone who doesn't play the game. I find it's better to leave them wondering rather than have them blame me for telling them something they already know, but have been successfully denying.

  • dogisgod

    I saw mine recently......but she didn't see me. I would not seek her or any of them out. If I were stuck in a situation with her I would only tell her that she was the most harmful hypocrite I have ever met. Until very recently I kept very loving feelings about those I grew up with who now shun me. (was never df...just left). I came to the conclusion that I was hurting myself and nurturing feelings of rejection by hanging on to people I would never want in my life now. I feel a lot better because of that. Don't waste another minute on them. You are stealing that minute from things that are good for you.

  • exjwlemming

    The young man, that studied with me, is no longer a JW as well.

  • ScenicViewer

    I would say "How was prison life?"

    Not really - I wouldn't bring that up - but he did do prison time for Fish and Game violations. Although he was an elder for many years he let greed set in, which moved him to violate laws for the profits.

    I have lost track of him and have no idea what his standing is with the religion now.

  • LongHairGal


    My study conductor passed away at least two decades ago.

    How in the world would an older person claiming to be "anointed" relate to a single woman who worked full time? This person, like many old Witnesses, was not in reality and lived in a protective bubble...So, we never saw eye to eye and quite frankly I couldn't wait to change congregations.

    If I hypothetically ran into this person I would ignore them. If asked, I would state: I am no longer in the religion and do not accept the attitudes of many and how I was treated. Then I would walk away because talking to them would be pointless.

  • JWdaughter

    my last study conductor turned me into elders because my questions challenged her too much. I was 15. I'm not sure if she's still in or not. If a 15 year old with no internet scared her, she must be taking Zanex by now.

    I'm metciful. I'd just say hell, how you figured out the truth about "the truth"

Share this