A JW at my work, question? (page 3)

amac

Beans - I agree, it sounds like he is a marginal witness, ripe for some facts about the JWs. A little bit at a time should work...

Country Girl

I guess I'm dating myself here, too. <wow -- then we should get along PERFECTLY if I'm dating myself! <slaps herself> Wait.. I'm married!>

Back in the day when I was in the Society, it wasn't "cool" to date out of the JW's, but it happened, and no one really blinked an eye if the person was studying. The couple sat at the Hall together, and it was accepted that they were dating, as long as the non-believer was studying. It was looked down on worse, if the non-believer was NOT studying, but they wouldn't disfellowship ya. This was back in the late 70's. We didn't have chaperones when the couple went out on dates that was seriously contemplating marriage, but "dating" was done, mostly, in a group setting.

CG

sandy

Since no names are given in the marking talk, supposedly only people who know of the situation will mark; the KH gossip mill will correct that so that everyone will know.

This is so true. It is so ridiculous as well. What is the point of the "marking" being private if the rest of the congregation finds out who was marked within a week?

Badger

Sandy:

Often, marking is done with a vigilante approach. My sister was reproved for fooling around with her fiance, but the elders mad no announcement or marking. someone blabbed (an elderette) and several sisters instructed their families not to talk to my sister. How scriptural was that?

Doubtfully Yours

Rules on this subject haven't changed. However, I notice that they've softened up on the punishment. No more public announcements, just private counseling and perhaps loss of some privs temporarily.

Lately it seems like more and more are looking outside the org for mates.

DY

undercover

Sounds like different areas had different ideas of what was acceptable or not. Where I grew up, dating outside the "truth" was a definate no-no. Not a DFing offense but one that brought swift and terrible retribution in the form of "marking", losing privilages, service meeting parts about the dangers of said offense and elders constantly "counseling" the "erring" one, both publicly and privately.

Dating inside the congregation was about as fun as watching paint dry. Chaperones were the order of the day. A dating couple could not be alone together, ever. Not in a car, not in a house, not at the movies, not at dinner. Someone was to always be present. Group dating was encouraged(not to be confused with group sex). Not that we all adhered to these rules, but when found out, we got "called on the carpet" for it.

I've always wondered about the "marrying outside the lord" bit. There are more scriptures to back that policy up more than the ones for smoking or blood transfusions but yet while smoking or taking blood gets you DFd, marrying an unbeliever doesn't. Why not make it a DFing offense? Is there some kind of legal problem in forbidding someone to marry?

amac

When my wife and I were dating I used to argue with people all the time about chaperones. I forget which pub it was but the society had explicitly said it is OK to be alone in PUBLIC places. They even had a picture of a couple ice skating or something like that...BY THEMSELVES. People in our hall thought you should always have a chaperone with you and would comment on us as we would always go out by ourselves...in public. My parents were pretty understanding and had to agree with me after I showed them what the pubs said.

imzadi

This discussion reminds me of when I first learned that one of my co-workers was JW. We had been hanging out together socially for about a year and a half before she very reluctantly confessed her religion. She had just started dating one of my best friends when she confided over coffee that his Roman Catholic religion was a problem for her. When I asked her why, she told me his family had a problem with her religion. When I asked her what religion was, she replied that she was Christian. I told her "Christian" was a generic term and asked her to be more specific. Again she said she was Christian. I continued to press her. Finally, with her eyes to the floor, she said she was JW.

As it turned out, she had fewer problems dealing with a Catholic family than she did with her own congregation. She and my friend took great pains to hide their relationship from everyone except their immediate families and closest friends until they announced their engagement so she wouldn't get into any trouble with the elders. She once laughingly told me a story about how she dealt with a "sister" she and my friend ran into at a popular restaurant. She told the sister she was having lunch with a business client!

Since she and my friend are now married and she is still "in" the organization, I agree with the posters who say that a JW dating or marrying a non-JW is not a disfellowshipping offense. However, from talking with both of them, I think dealing with the issues involved puts a lot of needless stress on a relationship.

Iz

ESTEE

Gopher wrote:

Apparently, Estee -- you didn't cry and beg for mercy enough. So Jehovah told the elders to can you.

Geez Gopher ... Darn right I didn't weep and wail enough. That's 'cuz I did a "no show" at their ~~jc meeting~~ kangaroo court ... Can elders still read hearts all the way to my apartment ...?

Sorry to hijack the thread ...

One comment I would have about the jw at work ... sounds like he is happily on his way out ... even if he doesn't know it yet!

ESTEE

sadeyez

I also was DFd for having a wordly boyfriend...why repent I was having too much fun after living w/ rules that left me feeling as if I were in a prison.

DEB

A JW at my work, question?

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