A JW at my work, question?

by Beans 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Beans
    Beans

    There is a guy at work that I had heard was a JW, so I was working with him and we had a few laughs talking and joking around so I was starting to pry and get it out of him that he was a JW, also I had heard a few things and wanted to ask him as well.

    So I asked what he did for Christmas and he avoided the question and then I said, "oh yeah your a Jehovahs Witness" and he said he was, right after he said "but I got some good presents" (admitting your a JW seemed to be awkward for him) as he is the only JW in his family. I told him that my parents were as well and my grandparents went to the same hall as he did many years ago.

    He told me that he wasn't a HARDCORE JW as he said there are many who are to over the top for him. One of his pioneer friends called him up and said he was an APOSTATE for missing meetings, what a joke eh! Funny thing was how he said he auxillary pioneered and said how it made him very judgemental and made him look at those who were not pioneering and question in his mind why they were not pioneering as well. Interesting!

    What I had heard was that he had a WORDLY girlfriend and I wanted to ask him this, so I did. He said that he did and that they had been going out for a year now, I then told him that this was not permitted! He then went on to tell me that it was now his CHOICE!

    Has this changed?

    http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

  • Badger
    Badger

    If it has, I'm showing up at the hall with my girl and thowing her down on the literature counter.

  • garybuss
    garybuss



    I was not aware it was ever forbidden. . . .you mean they disfellowshipped people for having a worldly girlfriend? I have never heard that. My dad was company servant when I was in high school and my girlfriend was not a Witness. My parents knew her and other Witness relatives met her and no one ever told me I was doing anything wrong.

    I quit associating in 1974 so I guess I missed something after that time huh?



  • cruzanheart
    cruzanheart

    garybuss, your age is showing! (Just kidding.) I remember "Congregation Servant" but not "Company Servant." A friend of mine, whose dad was hard-core-anointed-hung-around-with-Rutherford-and-called-Franz-"Freddie," did not object to her marrying a worldly guy and even performed the ceremony. That was way back in the 1950's; however, in the 1970-2000 era I saw a lot more rigid rules about dating "outside" and I do think that marrying outside of the JW religion, if not grounds for disfellowshipping, is at least highly questionable and you get marked for sure.

    At least that's the way I remember it.

    Nina

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Yes, your Dad must have been pretty flexible if you had a worldly girlfriend in high school, and they were OK about it. My daughter had a JW bf, which is how I got involved in this forum. His mother gave me an Awake (dated Jan 22, 2001) which said no dating till you are ready for courtship and marriage. There is also a lot of information in the "Questions Young People Ask" book on that same topic. She was very honest about saying that no matter what age the kids were, my daughter would not be acceptable because of the religious difference (which made sense to me, I didn't want her to marry a JW, ever).
    Since then I found this:

    From the October 1 1974 Watchtower:

    Is there any real objection to one of Jehovah's witnesses "dating" a non-Witness who respects the Christian's beliefs?-U.S.A.

    The Bible does not comment about "dating," as this is a modern practice, but it does contain guiding principles.

    Devoted Christians do not consider "dating" simply as recreation. Instead, they look upon it as an aspect of courtship, a serious step toward marriage. As to marriage, the Scriptures encourage selecting a mate who is "in the Lord," a believer, and not just a person who 'respects one's beliefs.' (1 Cor. 7:39) Hence, one who dated an unbeliever with a view to finding a marriage partner would be acting contrary to the Bible's admonition.

    Then, too, while some unbelievers may respect one's beliefs, they themselves are not following the counsel of God's Word. This being the case, they may be inclined to take certain liberties with one of the opposite sex. Not being immune to the desires of the flesh, a Christian might yield to temptation when with an unbeliever. "Do not be misled," cautions the Bible. "Bad associations spoil useful habits."-1 Cor. 15:33.

    Even if immoral conduct is avoided, an unbeliever is not a good associate. A person who is not a devoted worshiper of Jehovah God could not be a source of real encouragement to one who is. An unbeliever, while appearing to be a 'good person' and respecting the believer's faith, still does not appreciate spiritual things. Lacking a spiritual outlook, he or she would not strengthen the believer in a determination to be faithful to God. On the contrary, since the unbeliever may be thinking of marriage, he would be encouraging the Christian to disregard God's counsel about 'marrying only in the Lord.'

    It is therefore wise for a dedicated Christian to look for possible marriage mates only among those who are believers and who possess spirituality.-Compare Deuteronomy 7:3, 4; Nehemiah 13:26, 27; Malachi 2:10-12

    I have no idea if people have been DF for dating normal people, but I would guess, yes, especially if the elders suspect an intimate relationship.

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    I don't believe they will df you for dating a non-jw but they would not let you have congegation privledges or pioneer. In most congregations you would be considered bad association. The pressure would be applied that you should only date with marriage in view so you should not be dating a non believer.(worldly..I hate that word almost as much as apostate)

  • Badger
    Badger

    (((Nina)))

    I know of several JWs (I guess ex-JW's, now) that were DF'd for marrying outside the faith, and that being the only reason. Probably one of those Ted Jaracz service departmen rules that the elders get from the CO's directly, and not from the WT.

  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    Beans, it might be his choice, but I wonder if his JW family and JW friends know about her or have met her. When they do, they will put pressure on him to dump her, because she is "bad association", so he may have a whole lot less choice then.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Back in the 50's, I don't think the JW's even encouraged "chaperones" to accompany couples on their dates. My parents (married 1959) never had a chaperone. They explained to me, "well, times were different back then". Yeah, I guess they didn't have hormones either.

    So too they were looser on the rules about dating non-JW's. There weren't as many JW's to choose from as there are now, maybe that's part of it. Also, maybe they thought that the JW could witness to the non-JW and bring that one "into the truth".

    Now they know that dating non-JW's will likely lead to what we outsiders call "freedom" but what JW teachers call "spiritual suicide". Hence it is discouraged nowadays. But as far as I know, it is not a disfellowshipping offense. They can't find anything in the Bible to support it being a DF'ing offense, and maybe that's why it isn't one.

    Badger, your knowledge of people being DF'd only for dating a non-JW is different than what I knew as JW, but maybe it was different in your area.

  • ESTEE
    ESTEE

    garybuss ...?

    you mean they disfellowshipped people for having a worldly girlfriend?

    I was disfellowshipped for having a worldly boyfriend ... is there a double standard here?

    ESTEE

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