Single in the troof

by Purple 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • acsot
    acsot
    Raised in a divided household and many times saw 'families' in the congregations get invited to things that we weren't, because #A it was uncomfortable inviting my father to things since he wasn't a witness and he had a drinking problem or #B because they were doing couple things and they wanted 'witness couple things' so they left mom out a lot.

    This is how it was for my mum, my father was an alcoholic, so rather than encouraging her and including her in social occasions she was isolated by the congregation 'cause their all-encompassing Christian agape love couldn't reach far enough to include my father. In spite of the alcoholism, my father was very meek and would converse with the JWs about the Bible almost as if he were one himself. They still pretty much ignored my parents.

    As for me, I'm still single and loving it and never experienced any isolation as a result of being a single sister in the congregation. Where I live there are many, many single sisters and we'd always be doing stuff. We'd include sisters who lived in divided households as well as other married sisters 'cause they'd complain about never being able to get out of the house and wanted to have a evening out with the gals. We'd go to the movies, jazz festivals, restaurants, concerts, etc.

    It all depends on the area. When I was in the Spanish congregation I got a lot of "why aren't you married", but they gave up trying to figure out this strange "gringa" after awhile and left me alone. I think they wished they could do the traveling and stuff I was doing, rather than waiting on their dear hubbies hand and foot day in day out.

  • Lonestar13
    Lonestar13

    Good point Ascot....I am 26 single and loving it. I take 4 vacations a year, I come and go as I please, I don't have to ask my husband for permission to dye my hair, go shopping for a few hours or to buy a new computer. I just go out and do those things, and the married sisters would marvel at me.

    However to stick to topic, single sisters DO have many issues facing them in the congregation. Especially if the sister is career oriented, intelligent, strong willed, opinionated etc. Then I think the elders feel challenged a bit because thechnically there is nothing they can do to shut such a sister up, whereas if she were married, they can tell the husband to give her a good talking to.

    Me personally, I have no desire to marry a jw man and to be his submissive weaker vessel. I have worked too hard to get where I am to now ask permission to leave the house!

    And yes the couples only thing was so annoying that I believed it was mentioned and complained about and later dealt with.

    Being the ONLY 20 something single sister in the congregation also subjected me with many attempts for set ups. And yes, people really should mind theirs!

  • Purple
    Purple

    Hey MAverick

    Thanks for that insight. SHeesh if I was interested in another long term relationship ever and living on the other side of the world would I love to meet you!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Purple
    Purple

    Thanks guys

    Its good to know that I wasnt imaging the treatment I got. I did think about the husband alone in the troof bit too but hubbies seem to have more for them as they come become more involved etc and the cong seemed to be more accepting of husbands alone in the truth.

    The congs I was in are very conservative ones, mostly families or couples and the younger ones seemed to have their own stuff to do and were generally happy and younger than me.

    I just used to find it really hard when the main emphasis was love and acceptance..which of course could not be farther from the truth! It really was an exclusive club that only the sacred few got invited to. Mind you I was relieved when I wasnt invited as lots of things seem to go wrong at many picnic, BBQ's Parties and so on. The emphasis became so much on social stuff in one cong that we had a special CO's visit to have special talks about not putting the emphasis on social but concentrate more on our ministries and attending meetings. I can tell you I walked out that meeting with a clear conscience and a naughty sniggering sound....

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