Miniimizing 'Punishment' - marrying a non-JW

by doasthouwilt 44 Replies latest social relationships

  • HiddlesWife

    In most cases, a disfellowshipping will ensue once found out by the nose of the elder body. Even before marriage, she can get caught with you in her house and be accused of fornication which is a disfellowshipping outcome. It would be by a nosey fellow JW who sees you too together.

    That's very true in that some dubs who were seen being hugged by someone of the opposite sex were requested by their cong's BOEs and pulled into the backroom for a small JC. I know of a situation where this happened and the sister--who was quickly hugged by a coworker who drove her home from her job--was put on PRIVATE RESTRICTION/REPROOF for this happening. When it comes to the Borg/WT, ANY LITTLE THING sets them off!

  • 3rdgen

    I have a few questions.

    You say you are not engaged but you would elope. Have you actually asked her to marry you? Has she accepted?

    Is she aware of your plan to elope and announce your marriage to the congregation afterward? (which would deny her a wedding)

    Is she willing to be disfellowshipped for this marriage? (the most likely outcome)

    My take on this is that indeed she may have been scared by 9/11 into returning to good standing with JWs in order to survive Armageddon which seemed imminent. But when did she start pioneering? Was it after you two became more than friends? If so, that would indicate that in her mind, she is trying to pay for her sins with you by doing extra work for Jehovah. (kind of like penance) The trouble with that is her religion and her God don't officially accept it. Therefore, she is wasting her time pioneering.

    The world is a scary place to be right now. (especially for someone with a JW background) She needs to be reminded that 9/11 came and went without Armageddon and so will today's events. She needs to be reminded that since the late 1800's the Watchtower has preached that Armageddon is imminent, that we are now living in the generation that will witness the end of the world- either by surviving it or being destroyed. The fear of being destroyed has to be replaced or she will always be a mental slave. Can you live with that? Can she?

  • 3rdgen

    Something else to consider. Her Bible says "There is nothing hidden that won't be revealed." If you marry and If by some miracle she is not disfellowshipped she might always wonder when she might be found out. Not a good start for a marriage.

    To me, she must learn to accept that Jesus' sacrifice paid for her sins. She needs to be helped to reason that the sacrifice is enough to put her right with God. There is nothing she can add to it or works she can do to be "more" forgiven. No meetings she can attend or amount of hours she can preach to buy her salvation.

    Mind you, I no longer believe in Christianity AT ALL but if a person does, either the ransom is enough or it isn't. Simple as that. How many churches did Jesus build?

    She needs to leave JW's for you two to be happy. So my final question is: If she remains a fearful believer, how happy can she be if she becomes what the Bible calls "Unevenly Yolked"? How happy can you be if she is not happy?

  • Balaamsass2

    A lot of things don't add up, but #1. if you simply want to reduce her odds of being disfellowshipped, get married without hoopla immediately, and have her leave pioneering and change congregations... immediately. Some bodies of elders don't bother investigating members who have moved....some do.

    #2. More importantly, she will never be happy until she deals with her real core beliefs and true self. Please read over the website "JW Facts" with her and then spend the money for counseling with a professional.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Psalm 32:5 — confess sins TO GOD (not the Elders or Priests) and be forgiven

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