I am happier when i am out

by IamWhatIam 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sara

    @IamWhatIAm - I'd really like to learn from your experience ... I'm a bible student right now, but I have these severe doubts. But I guess I'm also tricked by how nice the people are and everybody seems so happy and friendly. But what really intrigues me I guess is that, although I can express my doubts right now, no one, really no one expresses any doubts or critique on anything they see, read or hear. And although that gives it this uniform look of course, it's also very creepy.

    I mean .. we are people right .. we always complaint or express what we do not agree on. But they don't.

    Anyway, what I'm really afraid of, and that's what you also tell in your story, is that as soon as you get baptized they sort of turn on you. Then if you have any critique you have a problem, while right now I can ask whatever I like (at least I think I can, I still have this idea every doubt I have is noted and will come back later .. but then I think I'm too suspicious).

    So I hope you guys can help me wake up before it's too late ..

  • Xanthippe
    I mean .. we are people right .. we always complaint or express what we do not agree on. But they don't.

    Sara you are a very intelligent woman. If people in a religion are too afraid to express themselves, what does that tell you?

    Anyway, what I'm really afraid of, and that's what you also tell in your story, is that as soon as you get baptized they sort of turn on you.

    That's exactly right Sara. When you are studying you can question the beliefs but as soon as you are baptised you can be disfellowshipped if you question anything. They like to keep the intelligent people with questions away from the rest. What does that tell you?

  • Introvert 2
    Introvert 2

    Everything about this thread is spot on, look into Narcissism and you will see the mind games the society plays on us. Think about it, they've had over a 100 years to perfect their craft. They do it well the sons of bitches.. read read read about them and the subject. The more you know the more you will own your life. None of this prevents you from being spiritual if you so desire.

    Sara : Yes they will turn on you once baptised, they'll want to run your life. You'll be slowly broken down and dismantled to a shell of what you once were. I've lived through it I know.

  • amiable atheist
    amiable atheist

    I'm glad to hear that you got out of that cult before they could make you abandon for good your freedom, your morality, your love, your career, and your humour.

    Welcome to the real world from Germany!

    BTW, I like your name "IamWhatIam"

  • polish clarinet
    polish clarinet

    I left 18 months ago. I feel better than ever with my loving not-JW wife. When I met her, about 12 years ago, I was "pre-shunned" as a weak person. Invited nowhere, ignored by "spiritual" members, dispised...

    I also knew the pressures to break my relation with her but I never did. And I was quite right!!

    the thing they never forgave me ??? I never apologized about the "crime" I committed by marrying an "unbelieving" person. Elders 'n Co expected me to express some regret but it never came. So all this "kind people" became more and more angry and even made some good old friends not to talk to me anymore.

    Many openly expressed it was i pity I counldn't be disfellowshipped for marrying my wife. An elder I knew for 30 years told me I was a cancer the congregation had to fight.

    So are the kindest people of the world...

    Have no regret, friends, because there is nothing to regret !

  • freddo

    Hello from the UK, IamWhatIam!

    Your post explaining your 4 years as a JW is wonderful to hear.

    You have seen and learned in 4 years what it took me 40 years to find out and accept.

    Well done sir! Well done!

    Have a great life and use your education to help yourself and mankind.

  • freddo

    And welcome Sara too.

    Ask away. Carefully research the answers and make sure that what you are told here rings true.

    After a lifetime of being a jw - MS then an Elder for over 25 years and now inactive/faded - I can tell you that you will get honest helpful experienced advice and support on this forum.

    But I still ask that you check us out thoroughly. Unlike at the kingdom hall when those "nice" ladies with their "nice" smiles hear you have doubts and concerns that they cannot address, we want you to be sure of the accuracy of our claims.

  • steve2

    What's that wise old saying? The best way to get to know someone is to marry or live with them. But if you marry them, it's too late.

    Same with JWs. The best way to get to know them is to get baptized - then it's gloves off and the pressure starts.

    Overnight, they go from, "What great questions you ask" to "Why are you asking questions?"And you quickly learn that you have to do what they say to remain in their good books.

    I noticed you live in Denmark. I'm not surprised that the only new ones are either born-ins or immigrants. The number of JWs in Denmark has remained much the same since the mid- 1980s:

    1984: 14,337

    1994: 16,191

    2004: 14,422

    2014: 14,484

    2017: 14,669

    The peak years were the early 1990s (16,191) but the stubborn trend is flatlining in themed to higher 14,000s.

  • LongHairGal


    I am glad you are out of the JW religion and are happy and doing well outside of the organization....I’m also glad you didn’t quit your good job to become a “cleaner”. I’m glad I didn’t listen to that stupid advice either!

    Good luck on your journey!


    It’s true that the only regret that most people have is that they didn’t exit the religion sooner. I should have left a decade earlier than I did but it’s no use crying over spilled milk. I’m just glad it’s over.

  • IamWhatIam

    @Sara Thank you for your post. My experience is before i baptized, i do have the free to ask questions or even to disagree with some topics. Before i baptized, they are tolerent to me in many ways. But after i baptized, the requirements changed. They start to put very strict rules on me. And they even made a plan to train me to be a pioneer or an elder, which i got to know from one of my best friends in the organization. And when i didnt meet the expectation, they will start to isolate me or try to stay a bit far away from me, especially those highly spirital elders. So be careful. The requirements and expectations on you is quite different before and after baptizing. After you baptized, they really want you to be a pioneer, to devote yourself on preaching, to sarcrify yourself to serve God. The pressure will become bigger and bigger after baptizing.

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