Am I shunned here?

by caves 18 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • caves

    Lately I been sifting though my many emotions after being here on this site.

    I feel Ive been all over the map just trying to come to grips with the information. But through all this I feel I'm shunned here as of late due to my (all over the place =-ness).

    Is this true. If its not can someone help me understand why I might feel this way. Thank you in advance.

  • Simon

    We're supposed to explain to you why you feel a certain way?

    Only you can do that.

  • stillin

    Caves, sure there are a few jerks wherever you go. But you won't get the full-throttle group shunning here that you seem to be referring to.

    Be respectful of different viewpoints, even if they're stupid as hell.

  • Xanthippe

    Caves you're a very deep man. You've done a lot with your life and given a great deal of thought to the meaning of it all so you sometimes stand out as different. Comprende? Need I say more?

  • steve2

    caves, I've never heard of anyone here being "shunned" due to their "all over the placeness, as you put it. You'll have to remind me of your more recent posts and what things you've been talking about and what oyhers have said in response. Your name seems familiar - but I don't have any particular reaction when I see it.

    Someone - not a JW - once said to me, "As you go through life, some people will like you, some won't but a whole lot more will be kind of indifferent towards you. That's just the way it is." Unless of course you have upset people along the way - even unintentionally?

  • caves

    So what I'm seeing is that In truth , I nor anyone else matters much unless they are a part of ones life.

    I didn't know what to expect when I signed up and started digging on here to help me get to the root a lot of jw trauma. I've lived in isolation for so long I find it hard to connect. That makes me feel alone. Im trying so hard.

    I've definitely disagreed with opinions, then have seen the logic it. Sometimes not.

    Only wanted to be excepted. But that comes from within. Even though the whole reason for going to sites like this is to feel excepted and connected and find the truth.

    That why Im trying my best to talk this out with seasoned people that maybe felt a bit lost and jumped to conclusions at the beginning only to change there way of thinking on it later.

    @Simon. I truley get what you are saying. Did you ever feel sorta lost at first when waking up to TTATT and needed or wanted guidance to be able to move further on your journey? Some people seem to see TTATT and then simply except it and move on like it was not a very big deal. I'm not that kind of person. Im still really struggling to just be, and I understand you may have been able to just ride it out relatively unscathed. I didn't.

    @Steve-I got triggered a lot after the Leah Remini special and my head has been floating around in a fog. I guess I need to really grasp that most people just live there live from their point of view and thats that. That most people really dont care unless it directly affects them. Thats a very painful pill to swallow. Also I dont think Ive pissed anyone off and if I have and am capable of reconciliation I will do that.

    You all seem so strong to me. I personally feel weak. Which does make for great target practice.

  • dubstepped

    What's irking you my friend? You know you can email me or message me anytime. :)

    Okay, I'm heading out to pick up a member of this forum up from the airport as she's visiting my wife and I for a few days, but I'll respond as I have time.

    Many here have been out for a long time. We're not somehow stronger, we're just veterans.

  • Simon
    Did you ever feel sorta lost at first when waking up to TTATT and needed or wanted guidance to be able to move further on your journey?

    It's natural to feel at least a little unsettled when the world you know and believed kind of crumbles but it helps to learn about how it works and how religions like the WTS fit in to society and people's lives. You'll realize it wasn't all bad, you're not stupid for believing it and you can move on and start a new life.

    It's just that change is sometimes difficult and unsettling.

    The more change you go through though, the easier it becomes and it is a useful skill to be able to cope with major change in your life which is always beneficial.

  • Diogenesister

    @Dub stepped you do know you're a star, right?

    @Caves I think you're super special from what I've read. I think when we loose our faith and even family we are grieving. We suffer abandonment issues, too, and so being accepted is so important to us - even in situations where, in the grand scheme of things don't really matter. Witnesses often suffer from low self esteem anyway ( comes from never being good enough) so I think some good old fashioned self love and self care is what is yourself up. YOU are a valuable person and if people have different values or don't appreciate you, more fool them. It may seem trite but it's the only way to remain positive and keep your head above water if you're struggling . self affirmations DO work if you keep at them. :-))

  • steve2

    I think I get what you're saying caves. One of the "limitations" with posting on any forum is often we only see what the person writes - we do not see the inner torment or vulnerability (if indeed there is any).

    Oftentimes, we react to what is said and sometimes people may write in a way that seems blunt and dogmatic - even if it is not intended that way. I'm not making excuses if anyone on this forum has treated you badly - except to explain that written language has its limitations. We are more inclined to respond "appropriately" when we're with the other individual in person.

    I've read some pretty rough stuff on this forum over the years and it's only when others respond to it that we learn the poster did not intend it in a rough way or the person has language difficulties such as when English is the second language and so forth.

    You do seem very vulnerable at the moment and in that state, you could be "over" personalizing other posters' responses to you. They may not see your vulnerability - or be so caught up in their own stuff, they cannot see it.

    Whatever the outcome of this thread, try to remember that very few, if any people here know you personally so it is doubtful that they intend their comments personally. Also, a forum may not always be a satisfactory way for people who have been badly hurt or neglected to get their legitimate emotional needs met. I'm sure a few posters might sensitively pick up on those needs - but that would be rare if it is not more overtly expressed. Best wishes, steve.

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