Coping with a change of heart

by Strugglingrsa 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Strugglingrsa

    After 24 years of active service as a witness my marriage came to an end causing massive trauma.During this tragic life event for a period of approx 8 months I went haywire. Drinking. Partying.smoking.I was disfellowshipped.I met a wonderful non witness along the way and am remarried.What I don't get is this.If an announcement was made that I am no longer a jehovahs witness then why does the Bible principle in Corinthians about not even greeting he who calls himself a brother still apply. Am I a danger to my family and past friends so much so that I have no hope. I have had a change in thinking on the policy of disfellowshipping and the degree to which it is carried out. I am now deemed as wicked and worthy of death unless I return to the organization. Yet I cannot see myself returning for a number of reasons but struggle mostly with ever having to cut off anyone who gets disfellowshipped. I never thought in 24 years of service I would feel this way.But the trauma of being cut off and shunned has woken me up to how it feels for many.Many whom I myself shunned as a witness. I just cannot cut people off .We live in such stressful times and as fragile humans surely it would be better to help each other rectify our ways without treating each other as Dead. Dangerous and wicked.

  • Crazyguy

    Shunning is not really anywhere in the scriptures except for those that don’t believe Jesus is the Christ 1john.

  • OneEyedJoe

    It sounds like you need to spend some time really coming to terms with what the cult did and the mind control that was involved. I suggest you check out if you haven't already. is another good resource. I definitely found the book by Steven Hassan that I read very helpful when I was leaving the cult. Really understanding what has been done to you goes a long way toward taking away its power.

    Disfellowshipping isn't about helping people or anything like that - you're absolutely right that if the true motivation was to help someone who has stumbled the best thing in most cases is to continue to show love to that person. Disfellowshipping is about making an example of those that dare think for themselves and keeping an implicit threat in the minds of every JW as well as preventing anyone who realizes that they've been systematically lied to for their entire lives from being able to help those that are still under the spell. The bible is just used as post-hoc justification for the same sort of policy that all cults use to control their members.

  • Vanderhoven7

    Yes, since you have been through ultimate "church" discipline so called, and are no longer considered a follower of Christ/ Governing Body, if they followed scripture, they should treat you as a publican sinner. And how did Jesus treat publicans and sinners?

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Welcome to the forum Strugglingrsa.

    Many of us here have successfully dealt with similar circumstances to yours. You'll succeed.

    When it comes to the org, remember Shrek's wise words - "Better out than in."


    Am I a danger to my family and past friends so much so that I have no hope.

    The WTBTS is the ''modern-day Pharisees.'' They step beyond the scriptures. Jesus would be ashamed of their teachings.

    Just like communist countries who use their military, court system, and incarceration to stay in power and control the population, the Watchtower Society uses disfellowshipping as its only means to stay in power and control its members.

    They use families and friends as their military. They put fear into anyone who does not shun other members. They use family, friends, and congregation members to do their dirty work.

  • cha ching
    cha ching

    Welcome, and hugs... yes, disfellowshipping and shunning is hatsh and cruel, it makes peole commit suicide.

    Basically, it is a form of blackmail. Not "love, to help you return to Jehovah"... it doesnt feel like "love", does it?

  • DesirousOfChange

    WTS is all about CONTROL.

    Disfellowshiopping is INFORMATION CONTROL.

    WTS fears the INFORMATION that someone who knows TTATT might reveal to those who are still Captives of the Cult.

  • Diogenesister

    Yes Rules and Regulations they try to make Luke 17.3 look like just a minor disagreement and that that is the sort of thing you should forgive time and again - like being rude or not giving back that fiver you lent him or not apologising for bumping your car in the parking lot. Yet it says, very clearly “if your brother sins against you”. JW disfellowship for sin. They weaponise family and friends to keep you in line and most of all they don’t want anyone who knows ttatt talking to the cong, which is why they went after Ray Franz, a blameless man (who had discovered the great crowd was in heaven) with such a vengeance.

  • smiddy3

    When Peter asked Jesus how many times he was to forgive his brother sinning against him Jesus replied not up to seven times but seventy seven times Matt.18: 21,22.

    So how much more should/would Jesus forgive sinners ?

    So instead of DF people they should be helping them to overcome such transgressions of their religious beliefs as they see it and not blackmail them into submission as what they attempt to do now.

    Luke 17 :3 ,4 .if your brother commits a sin rebuke him and if he repents forgive him .Even if he sins 7 times a day and he comes back to you seven times ,saying I repent you must forgive him .

    Are Jehovah`s Witnesses given this option ?at a Judicial meeting ? are they even aware of this option ?

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