The lack of care was actually secondary for me. I already understood that a lot of people who reach out for any position over other people are basically assholes or insecure. Not all, but a lot of them. Like cops. They really are just waiting for a chance to tase, shoot, Billy club, etc. pent up frustration, I suppose.
To answer your question (and put aside my psychobabble) it was really the whole construct that gobsmacked me in the face. Invisible everything, all contrived and patched together by a few sketchy people who lay claim to "special knowledge." The scales fell from my eyes and here I am, on an apostate website baring my soul.