How many "leave the truth" because of the behaviour of harsh elders?

by stuckinarut2 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stuckinarut2

    Just wondering how many are assisted to wake up after experiencing harsh treatment from "the loving shepherds of the congregation"?

    Perhaps some were starting to wake up, and such behaviour or treatment gave them the push to leave?

    As Jesus supposedly said "come to me all who are toiling and loaded down, and I will refresh you. My load is light and kindly"

    For example, what about a young one who is harshly counselled or criticised for their choice of dress or grooming? If dealt with in a kindly way, they may have been encouraged. But if harshly condemned, did this assist them to realise that the society is not following a "Christlike loving manner"?

  • flipper

    I'll raise my hand and comment in the affirmative to that question. Yes sir, indeed - it helped push me out the door of the kingdom hall for good. Best favor those elders could have done me too ! I've never been happier being out of that hellhole organization.

    My son also left the JW cult after some elder he didn't know questioned him letting his sideburns grow to the bottom of his earlobe. You can't make this stuff up- I swear

  • Spiral

    A particularly harsh and unfair control freak elder was the first thing that made me start to wake up. It took a few years and some other issues, but his outrageous behavior was what opened the door to reality for me.

  • stuckinarut2


    If the words of "Jesus" are to be applied: "by their fruits you will recognise them"

    I did not wake up purely because of such elders, as my awakening was based on logical research and facts. However, once I did start awakening, the way elders treated us was the awesome icing on the cake, the straw that broke the camels back if you like!

    And yes, as Flipper says , I Thank them!... they did us a huge favour!

  • Chook

    All of them were forsaken by the shepherds

  • LongHairGal


    Overwhelmingly YES to your question!

    Even though sometimes elders were pleasant, they are really "company men" there to enforce the rules of the religion. Sadly, they are looking out for themselves and their immediate families and seeking favor of the CO. The only other people in the congregation they cared one iota about were the people who invited them over for dinners regularly, etc.

    The people they did NOT care about were those not on the pioneer list because they didn't help them to look good to the CO.

    The other demographic they did not care about were single women. The only time elders noticed single women was to criticize them over their dress OR to ask for favors - very often for one of those "great ladies" or others who invited them to dinner...I wasn't there to be targeted by anybody.

    While it may not be the elders' fault that the religion is against college and careers, they usually made sure that somebody with a full time job is pretty much ostracized. A single woman doubly so. I saw this and despised them, especially those who pretty much earned their living BEFORE they became active in the religion.

    All the above made it very easy for me to "fade" from the religion!! I have no use for them.

  • Pistoff

    Lying, corrupt elders is what loosened the grip for me; the sex abuse scandal finished me off.

    I am forever grateful!

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    Pete is raising his hand....

    My 26 year old son was diagnosed with cancer a few weeks after he was unfairly DF'd and we were shunned by everyone we knew, simply because we had him stay with us while he endured surgery, chemo and a stint in intensive care. We were dumped by everyone we knew, including JW relatives.

    Thanks to the kindness of "worldly" neighbors and coworkers who came to our rescue, we made it through the worst year of our lives. Our Son is now cancer free and we are free of the shackles of a lifelong religion that we had long suspected was not what we had been lead to believe it was and doctrines that were full of holes, that up until that point, we dared not question.

  • fulano

    That's like not liking soccer because of the referee ....No in my case it was the teaching and doctrine. Leaving the religion because of an elder Maybe my situation has been a little different, but even the attitude of brothers in charge of missionaries didn't change my mind.

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    Pete Zahut, the loving congregation let my mother die alone. It took six months but they did nothing, not even a meal for her and her husband an unbeliever. She was too weak to cook. What better time to love bomb (kiss ass) to get a convert. The day after she died a sister brought food and my dad told her off, "You couldn't be there for her while she was dying, I don't want your shitty food now. No thanks!" Slam went the door.

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