So getting disfellowshipped sounds kind of great.

by schnell 28 Replies latest jw experiences

  • schnell

    Hi everyone,

    I grew up in this religion, I was baptized at 14, married at 27, and now I'm 31. I'm also evolutionist and atheist. I wanted this to be the truth. I spent years as an apologist trying to reconcile everything. Nope. You really can't do it, and as you see all the flaws, it just becomes a rotten experience to go to the meeting.

    I've read The God Delusion and 30 Years a Watchtower Slave (hence my username) among other books. My family wants me to stay, and my friends want me to stay, and everyone who sees me just knows that that I haven't been to meetings and they ask "Are you okay?"

    Frankly, I'm tired of being asked if I'm okay. I'm good, it's the religion you're preaching that you should be looking at.

    So now I'm considering writing my letter and making it official. The benefit is simply that people in this cult will finally leave me alone, except possibly for the elders. I'll deal with them. They can bring it, because creationism and Bible literalism and prophecy cannot stand up to science and Bible criticism.

    As with seemingly every atheist, I pursued the truth, and the truth set me free. Thanks everyone.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    The WT bible teachings cannot stand up to logical scientific evidence. This was the eye opener for me. As long as you know what you are getting into and do not care what the other dub family members think or their shunning, then go for it and don't look back. There is a whole other world out there for you without the cult trying to control you.

  • Sanchy

    Hi scnell. Welcome aboard. Indeed there are some major benefits to being DF.

    What's the situation with your wife?

  • schnell

    @Sanchy, she's hanging on. We love each other, but she feels down on meeting nights and doesn't like to drive by herself at night.

    I understand. As I said, I held on for years, and my standing on this threshold is a lot for her. I get that.

    But it's not the truth. As William alluded to, these guys talk about a water canopy as the source of the flood, while also accepting climate change.... Do they not realize that those ideas don't go together? Preaching this doctrine is intellectually dishonest, and exposes people to a flawed judicial system that can shun people. That's really enough for me.

  • cofty

    Welcome to the forum schnell.

    I have doubts about the value of playing their game. I would always suggest just doing your own thing and totally ignoring the whole DF/DA nonsense but you know your circumstances better than anybody.

  • Giordano


    Here is a web site that looks at the ways and means people exit their religion and church.

    There is a quote on this site that really explains how a religion should play out:

    It is a violation of first amendment rights to assert religious authority over someone without their consent. Marian Guinn vs Church of Christ Collinsville is an important case where the courts were definitive, "No real freedom to choose religion would exist in this land if under the shield of the First Amendment religious institutions could impose their will on the unwilling and claim immunity from secular judicature for their tortious acts."

    Shunning by the way is a tortious act.

    I would have to agree with Cofty however that there is no need to play the JW game, no reason to meet with any Elder's. And you can quickly brush past any JW who asks if your doing ok by saying "Never Better!".

    The JW's are like over obedient little children who fear the discipline of their parents. They really don't want to know the science that proves their beliefs wrong........ they fear reality because they have been trained to live in a world that doesn't exist.

  • schnell

    Thank you everyone for the welcome. It's nice to have a place to express all this.

  • schnell

    @Giordano, fantastic response! Thank you so much! I have some reading to do tonight.

    And hell yeah, never better!

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    For your wife's sake, if it's only been recently that you've started missing meetings etc., it might be wise to wait before drawing an official line in the sand. It may be that in time, the JW's in your life will get the picture and back off. If enough time goes by and you play your cards right, you may be able to have the best of both worlds in terms of not being shunned every time you see a JW and having your wife be the object of pity in the congregation. You can send a DA letter in at any old time if you choose to later....why not give fading a try?

    You shouldn't have to strategize in order to leave a religion but it is what it is....a cult or at least cult like religion that you've / we've managed to get tied up in. I don't know your situation but for me it was best to little by little fade out and not play the game by their rules by sending in a D A letter. Who are they anyway that I should bother giving notification?? The relationship with God that you once believed in as a JW, was supposed to be between you and him. You don't need to explain anything to anyone. Just vague non committal answers (if that) should keep them off your back. Tempting as it might be, there's no need to give them a piece of your mind spill your guts, explain or justify your personal beliefs to any one of them.

  • Heaven

    Welcome schnell. Interestingly, your randomly appointed Avatar looks like a Christmas tree with arms, legs, eyes, a rather large proboscus, and Medusa type hair. Perfect for an apostate.

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