Started to not attend the meetings

by mineralogist 23 Replies latest jw friends

  • mineralogist
    mineralogist

    It is kind of a strange feeling. Not, that I would miss the meetings, but somehow I feel, that brothers and sisters will ask for explanations why I didn´t come, and for me I have to honestly point out, that I wouldn´t feel my beliefs being strengthens. The fear to loose all friends and so on. So I am kind of confused what will happen in the future.

  • minimus
    minimus

    It's better NEVER to tell them the real reasons for not going if you want to maintain any association with the Witnesses.

  • blondie
    blondie

    Mineralogist it is good to start making friends in other areas, at work, at school, volunteering, etc. Then if you are dropped...

    Ask yourself how many people at the KH you socialized with on a regular basis. The others you only saw at the KH or field service you will never miss. The ones you socialized with....

    I agree with minimus, you don't need to explain why you aren't there. If you say too much, you might end up disassociating yourself.

    Blondie (no meetings for 11 months now)

  • mizpah
    mizpah

    mineralogist:

    If it is any comfort to you, all of us who left the organization went through similar conflicts and turmoil when deciding not to attend meetings. But many of us decided that not attending was far better than going to the meetings and enduring the programs. You probably will be approached by some in the congregation to determine why you do not attend. So, you should be prepared with some answers. Also, it is possible that the elders will call by to "readjust your thinking" on such matters. (I wonder if this expression is still used?)

    Any person leaving the Watchtower has to contemplate the losses. Many have chosen to "fade out" rather than face the circumstances of being disfellowshipped or disassociated. A few have chosen to remain as marginal JWs. Whatever the choice, know that others before you have gone the route.

    Whatever course you take, we wish you the very best.

  • mineralogist
    mineralogist

    i'm the wife of mineralogist

    hi Blondie, hi Minimus, thanks for your prompt and very helpful replies. i really appreciate them. A ("wordly") friend which I talked to in the morning also gave me the counsel to build up other friendships. So this is what I really will try to do. After having been pioneer for a very long time and not working it is really a challenge, to use the time and not feeling down when the "truth" was what life meant ot be.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I always had "worldly" (normal) friends. Due to my business, I have had regular association with non-Witnesses. My wife, on the other hand, did not. She found it very difficult at first, to stop attending meetings and service because she was afraid that she'd have no friends. I encouraged her to start getting together with her family and their friends. Once she realized how accepted she was by the "normal" people, it was not even an issue. We are both "irregular" and will reach our "goal" of becoming "inactive" as my daughter already is. Just build friendships and realize---most people are good out there. Really.

  • DanTheMan
    DanTheMan
    We are both "irregular" and will reach our "goal" of becoming "inactive"

    *LOL*

    You need to examine yourself minimus, and ask yourself "am I really doing as little as I can in Jerhover's service? Could I adjust my circumstances so as to make less room for theocratic activities? Are there worldy pursuits that I can get involved in that would cut into time normally scheduled for meetings and field service?"

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious
    Also, it is possible that the elders will call by to "readjust your thinking" on such matters. (I wonder if this expression is still used?)

    Yep, they still love that term. And the good little dubs are supposed to welcome such re-adjustment as counsel from God.

    Once she realized how accepted she was by the "normal" people, it was not even an issue.

    The WT emphasizes from day one that the dubs should expect to be "different" "no part of this world" "hated by the world" etc. It's no suprise that even when people get out they still expect to be treated with this attitude from "worldly ones". It's great how accepting friends and associates often are in contrast with how the WT portrays them.

  • DFWnonJW
    DFWnonJW

    LOL - Dan, that's a great line of reasoning

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    As witnesses, we were always taught to never have outside interests or friends. That way, we have no where else to go.

    Begin your life now, find new friends, hobbies, things that interest you and will occupy your time. In the event the WTS does anything to you, you will already have a new life of sorts.

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