You are NOT alone !

by stuckinarut2 21 Replies latest jw experiences

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  jp1692

  Leaving this religion when it's all you've ever known is very stressful and can cause great anxiety.

  It can indeed be difficult to come to terms with the reality that we have been lied to and betrayed by a religion we believed in and people we trusted.

  It is also heartbreaking to find that none of our relationships are sacred. So many of us have lost friends and family -- parents, children, siblings and spouses -- when we left this religion.

  And yet, things can and do get better.

  Indeed, when we leave a dysfunctional, high-control and abusive relationship we open ourselves up for greater opportunities.

  By leaving behind the highly-conditional relationships formed in the Jehovah's Witness religion we can begin to make new and better relationships.

  We will find people that love and appreciate us for WHO we really are, and not WHAT we (pretend to) believe.
  
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  flipper

  JP 1692- Very well stated. I compare getting out of the JW's kind of like when we were younger and used to break up with an old girlfriend that we didn't fit right with. At first you feel timid, trying to put the blame on yourself and I would say , " it's me, not you " type of thing. Just to take the high road.

  But the longer we're out of the JW cult the picture becomes perfectly clear that this " cult girlfriend " we were attached to was the problem all along ! No need to take the high road at all and just say it like we mean it, " really it's them, not us . " We who are out of it are O.K. now and in the healing process. It's the JW cult indoctrination that's totally fucked up , not us. And that cult indoctrination totally messes up the minds of JW's that the indoctrination filters into. Some are more messed up than others by degrees, but until they free themselves from mind numbing meetings which de-sensitize their brain neurotransmitters so they aren't able to think critically- they'll remain stuck in the cult molasses where they'll eventually sink in and get smothered up with and die in. It's not a pretty picture for those who stay in and never leave.

  All I can say is freedom is sweet, freedom of mind and freedom of movement. These last 15 years since I've been out have been and remain the best years of my life. Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  stuckinarut2

  Great replies! Thanks for the input everyone.

  I really want those who are newly awakening to know that they are not crazy, and that they are not alone.
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  LOLS

  I don't know how to cope with all of this :(

  I'm married to a JW man , he went back to practicing JW and our lives have been turned up side down .

  This morning we had an argument and he packed his bags and said his not coming back cause I don't respect him or his religion .

  My poor children have been through so much , how are they going to cope with this & I don't think I have the strength to cope with it all anymore . Everything is my fault he keeps telling me and he is doing this for his bible standards .

  Such a sad and ugly religion why would he turn his back on his marriage & put his children through the heartache of it all......
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  Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

  @LOLS Oh sweetie, I am so, so sorry to hear about your family situation! It's so scary how deep the indoctrination runs and its ability to completely change someone's personality. Are you able to say which part of the world you're based in? Just trying to work out if we're anywhere close to one another so I can offer you some help or support of some sort. Are you managing okay with the kids on your own?
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  stuckinarut2

  Oh LOLS, so sorry to read about your situation.

  Please remember that he is not thinking in his right mind at the moment, and may very well be influenced by the cult mindset. That cult persona is choking out the "real" him.

  Be strong in your resolve to be the same kind loving mother to your kids that you have no doubt always been. He will see that, and it may help bring out the "real" him again.

  Much love to you
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  LOLS

  @Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho &

  stuckinarut2

  Hi Guys

  Thanks for the kind messages :) makes me feel better that there are people who know what I'm going through .

  @Jo-Ho I live in South Africa :)
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  Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho

  Sh*t, I don't know anyone from over there, @LOLS.

  Paging all ex-JWs from South Africa!

  I do know that @nonjwspouse, @Freedom rocks and @Confusedandangry are similarly facing marriages/households that are divided with a JW spouse. I believe all three women have children in the mix, too, whose upbringing are threatened by the instability of a JW husband. I'll reach out via Private Message to all three this evening to see if they have any good advice for you, hon.

  Hold tight. X
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  nonjwspouse

  LOLS please read your private message. I will respond more in here when I get back. I have appointments today then out of town for a work conference But I will do my best to pop in!

  Hold strong. You are the rock for your kids.

  My husband went through a "phase" of full in cult mode, ( which almost blew our marriage right out of the water, and I continue having trust issues with him), but has since come most of the way out, (physically, the emotionally part I have no real idea). Though the mind control is still strong, he is not going to meetings and I find literature his mother gives him mostly unread in his truck.

  ((((((HUGS LOLS)
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  eyeuse2badub

  As the apostate army grows and ttatt takes root, we come to realize that true comfort from the scriptures-----is in not reading them!

  just saying!