Seeking advice

by Mizalisa 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • RayoFlight2014

    Hello Mizalisa,

    Its amazing how a perspective can change with a bit more information.

    When I read your initial post I was like: give him a chance to work through the difficulties of leaving home and finding independence away from his parents.

    But 32? 32 years old!! And still living with mummy and daddy?.... well that did it for me; this guy is financially dependant, a man-child who is by the sounds of it a male chauvinist just like my brother and father.

    Make no mistake, they're good at hiding their misogynistic personality but it will surface when they feel comfortable doing so.

    And as you said they have no qualms about lying.

    You'll find men like that from all walks of life, so this can't be solely blamed on the cult, it's part of his inherent personality.

    If he truly believes the cult indoctrination and refuses to research ( togther with you ) the child rape crisis and other Jehovah's witness related issues, then he has no business being in a relationship with anyone outside of the cult.

    Indeed you have dodged a bullet.

    And I would advise you to stay away from anyone who refuses to have their beliefs challenged and scrutinized.

    Sorry you had to go through this, but it's better than continuing such a relationship.

    Best of luck for the future.


  • DesirousOfChange

    I think I know what you mean about the emotional stunting. My ex showed puzzling psychological patterns. At times he seemed almost sociopathic in his disregard for the feelings of others, but I realized it was just that he'd been so prejudiced to think of outsiders as less-than and sinful that he truly did not seem to realize we'd have morals at all. Especially women, whom he used like toilet paper. He seems childlike in his views, everything is black or white. He believes in demons. There's a paranoia to him, always thinking people are out to screw him over. He's deeply envious of one other filmmaker, sees the guy's success as a threat to his own, a zero sum game with only a handful of winners. Ugh. It is exhausting.

    I've never known a better liar than this guy. He lied constantly. And utterly without remorse.

    Hon, these are two of your recent quotes about this man. Do you really need anyone else's advice about what you should do with this relationship? I think maybe you're just looking for reassurance and support. This is a great group of people for that.

    You seem to be intelligent and articulate in everything you say. Can you really not find a better potential mate?

    Good luck!

  • FedUpJW

    He is 32. He still lives with his parents. He is not financially independent.

    Even outside the realm of WT that is someone no thinking female would get involved with. I will be very blunt, ARE YOU CRAZY?? Drop that loser like a hot rock and move on!

    Okay, so I read a few more comments and it appears you have dropped him. GOOD FOR YOU!

  • JW GoneBad
    JW GoneBad
    I said no and broke things off for good yesterday

    Smart move Mizalisa!👍

    A further piece of advice for you...steer clear of Scientology men as well!🤣

  • Vanderhoven7

    Miz, we are rooting for you and hope that you are standing firm and have moved on with your life. Can you give us an update?

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