Who can you trust to admit you have doubts?
Margaret Atwood is one of my favorite authors! Glad to hear of fellow fans!
I can talk about almost anything with my mom, the woman who taught her kids to always do their research regarding medical procedures, grocery shopping, news stories, etc. Between my parents, Mom is more willing to learn and accept the falsehood of things previously thought to be true, and she had no problem about my sister and me going to college.
Of course, when I finally decided last October to tell her my real feelings about the bOrg and what I found out through research, the first thing she said was, "Get behind me, Satan, get behind me!"
After calming her down, her follow-up was, "What am I supposed to live for?"
In other words, basically you cannot trust anyone!! When you have doubts.
I was able to trust a few I could sense had doubts as well. The were also smart people, not low information koolaid drinkers with that glazed look in their eyes. But it took a long time, and a lot of gentle probing. There were hints that caught my attention.
It's really hard i don't think you can trust anyone, even the ones who you believe are very smart & intelligent....they want to remain blind unless they see it for themselves. ...
Recently I asked a old timer JW, he, was an elder, if he had an older publication book (he always kept an extensive library if old WT books been a JW for over 45 years & is 2nd generation JW), his response? "Be careful of apostates they twist things in the older publications that we don't believe in anymore".... i backed off, obviously he is not trustworthy to discuss my doubts too & many are like that in JW land... you know by their responses & be careful
People on some basic level, want to be lied to. They want to believe what they want to believe. They may on some level agree with you and have the same doubts themselves but more often than not, will go to great lengths to do what ever it takes to continue believing whatever eases their personal fears. To ease their conscience about all of this, they will also go to great lengths to punish anyone who forces them to acknowledge their doubts.
It's a case of shooting the messenger who delivers the bad news.
Doubts = Apostasy ..if you are too vocal. By simply expressing my doubts to a relative she started crying and saying, "I don't know who you are anymore!" She almost had a mental breakdown. Coming from me, substitute Pio School instructor, District Convention speaker etc. it was more than her brain could handle. I've backed off since then and we have a quiet truce going. No more doubts, so no need to mention them. I don't doubt, I KNOW that its not the "Truth" so why express them?
I felt out the reactions to some questions I had. I did this with my JW wife, mother, best friend, others.
In the end, they all remained loyal to the organization and made it clear that I could not trust them with enough of my discoveries for them to use against me. Well, my wife and my mother slowly morphed into making my differences with the organization my business and simply wanted to avoid being spies for the JW's. Despite that, I only go so far with what I say.
My best friend stopped me from saying anything he could use against me. I suppose that's good. But then he got out of my life. My in-law family treat me fine, but never ask anything JW-related.
It is very hard to know who you can say things to. You want to help them out. In the end, I think leaving, be it fading or otherwise, speaks more to them than anything you might try to convey through logic.
You cannot trust ANYONE who is asleep within the Matrix, period. They will fight to protect the Matrix until they are awake.
You can come here and rant, that helps. 😁
A long time elder told me that it is easy to pick-out the doubters in the Organization.
That statement alone underlines how tenuously the organisation has its followers in its grips. There is no allowance for shades of belief, or diversity of belief, and any hint of scepticism or cyncism is regarded as a monumental threat, as if one person's awakening might snap the whole congregation out of its spell.
As a consequence, Witnesses are cowed into silence, afraid to discuss their concerns for fear of being "outed" as an apostate. The real outcome is an organisation of pretenders, which is one of the things that really began to turn my stomach about being a Witness. People were pretending to be pious, pretending to be zealous, pretending to be nice, pretending to be friendly, pretending to believe. In the end I couldn't pretend any longer.
At the 2006 district convention, I decided to listen carefully, take notes and try to work out if I was learning anything new at all. In the opening Friday talk the speaker told us we should be excited to listen out during the convention for a "fresh thought" about 2 Peter 3:13. So I did. In the final Sunday talk it finally lobbed: the "fresh thought" was that the new world could be even better than we had imagined. Wow. That's it? I felt cheated. At the close of the session I asked one of the self-righteous, judgmental pricks we hung around with what he thought of the "new thought". Naturally he hadn't even noticed it. I asked him what the highlight of the convention was. He ummed and ahhed, then he asked me what the highlight was for me. I told him, "The closing song. I was just glad it was all over."
I went home that night angry as hell and began writing a diary about how much I hated being a JW. Weirdly, it wasn't for another two years that we finally made the decision to quit attending meetings. I'm sure that by then we had long been marked as "doubters".
That's why this board is so useful, because in real life I couldn't tell anyone the things that I say here. It's sad but it is the nature of things. They would either run away and try to avoid me or more than likely start crying and saying how I need to have more faith, everyone gets discouraged etc. They don't get it, it is not true and it never will be. None of us need to "be in the truth", this org has accomplished nothing worthwhile since it started.