Why can't there be more WildHorses.......??? !! (Blackeyed Peas.....Where is the Love) ?
Whos Your Friend/SoulMate Here???
For me: I have no soul mate.
I don?t want to let anyone down. I am too lacking within myself to be a burden on anyone else in this world I used to believe in things or concepts like soul mates but they have proven to be elusive dreams. Dreams that have been shattered by either the expectations of myself or of others ? dreams which could never be fulfilled.
The purpose of life is to end. I accept that I will finish my life feeling unfulfilled but I do not have the courage to end it early. There are people who love me dearly but I cannot fulfill their love but to be there for them when they need me. I can only take responsibility for what I have done to others and hopefully for others in this life.
I can never live up to the standards set for me by those who I would care for so I have decided not to try. I will instead focus the remainder of my life on the futility of materialism ? I will live for today and not for any tomorrow. Tomorrow will be as empty as yesterday. Sensory gratification is all there is for me ? while working diligently not to hurt anyone else?s feelings in the process. I still care about some people very deeply and I never want to hurt them ? that being said I will never be a ?soul mate? for anyone. I have no soul ? I just have the here and now. I live a life filled with loneliness ? I truly feel I am depressed but I do not believe I can change that. Happiness is not something concrete ? I cannot define it so I cannot attain it ? so for me there is no point in trying to chase the wind.
The wind is my soul mate. The wind understands what is present within me ? it is the avataric reflection of my inner workings. I feel worried about things with which I should not concern myself. I fear the possibilities. No where to go no where to turn ? so I just am.
Sometimes I look at my dog and I look in his eyes and I wonder what he thinks of the life. He is fed and secure and sometimes he receives attention. Otherwise he exists. Does he have a soul mate? Could he? Why does he have his life and I have mine? Would he with his seemingly happy disposition have made more of himself if he could be in my human body and have my human mind? Would his wagging tail be reflected as a smile on my face? God, am I worse than a dog?
I often sit in meetings or attend gatherings and I feel lonely in the crowd. Everyone else seems to have so much to say. I just exist ? everyone else seems to live. Damn you William Wallace ? I don?t live. I don?t live to get away from work to be with that special someone ? no I am driven. Something compels me to find excellence ? but I see and experience no end result of satisfaction. I am the ultimate bastard who will lie on my deathbed and realize what I missed out on but for some reason I cannot change. I am possessed by the search. I don?t know what I am looking for ? shit I don?t even know if I will know it if I find it. When my ship comes in will I be waiting at the airport?
You have a PM.
My soul mate is Zazu (Jan). Some of you will understand that, and some of you will not. For those who understand, explain it to those who don't.
I, too, don't really have a "soul mate" here... I feel that it is unnecessary. If I do in fact find one, I will keep in contact via email or telephone.
Razorblade and I communicate sometimes... he is very friendly, that is for sure!
Also, Scully, who shares much in common with me.
As for "soul mate", I think that's a pretty dangerous term for me to use. I distrust people, because I have been hurt so much.