My dilemma

by Saltheart Foamfollower 25 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once
    The Org told us to love and get along with others even if they were an ass. We are no longer under their BS direction. If he's been a disturber then let it ride. If they DF him then go say hi, otherwise he might just turn your ass in to cover his.
  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    His comments have been noticed by the body of elders and he is being watched. So my dilemma is whether I should warn/help him or should I leave things alone or even try to expose him?

    He's probably already well aware that he's "being watched". Trying to expose him would most likely expose you more than him. From the information you've provided, I'd just give him time and space. Rather than spending time and effort on him, work on your own plans. Observing how things develop with him can give you a lot of information for what you should or shouldn't say/do around the elders and congregation.

  • stuckinarut2

    I agree with others. Don't just reach out based on a suspected common TTATT belief....

    A relationship with someone needs to be based on more than a "common faith". It needs to be 'earned' in order to be a real friendship.

    However I also agree that if he has become a milder, less judgemental, less harsh, less critical person since appearing to learn TTATT, then you may wish to lower your guard a little and see what happens...

    Beleive me, I see how much of a self righteous prick I was when fully in, and I'm a very different person now.....

  • Finkelstein

    So my dilemma is whether I should warn/help him or should I leave things alone or even try to expose him?

    What is it that you dislike about him, that he's trying to be objectively honest ?

    What is that your afraid of, that he might break down your own beliefs ?

  • Saltheart Foamfollower
    Saltheart Foamfollower

    Thanks for your replies - sorry I haven't got back sooner, I had t go offline for a while.

    What I have disliked most about him is that he used his position to make others feel very unwanted to the extent that they had to move away, whilst pulling every trick in the book to protect his family who were getting up to all sorts of things (I've no problem with them doing so - I "helped" his son get reinstated then never attend again - the problem was how he attacked others who were trying to do the same thing for their families)

    The real dilemma is that the group he is a part of (in fact probably the leader) has in it ones who I do like and admire. His actions have possibly helped them to start waking up, but could also get them into trouble.

    My instinct was to keep my distance for now. I never had any intention of revealing myself to them - I could send him an email from my alias account.


  • stuckinarut2
    It sounds like there is an interesting undercurrent developing in that congregation?
  • Oubliette

    SF: My instinct was to keep my distance for now.

    Learn to trust your instincts.

  • Finkelstein

    Sounds like what he is guilty of some in house nepotism , seen that many times by Elders who had one of their own off spring misbehave and for some unsuspecting reason they got treated differently assumingly because they were the elder's son or daughter.

  • sparrowdown

    I don't see where the dilemma lies.

    Surely, it is up to the individuals involved to deal with him how they see fit, and you do the same.

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle
    Say nothing.

Share this