My dad is now a ministerial servant tonight

by Wagurl 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • frozen2018

    What concerns me are the scandals

    Yes, that is a concern. My military ex told me a couple of stories. But to be fair, the military does not have a monopoly on bad behavior. The military is a reflection of society at large. Churches, Fortune 500 companies, mom and pop stores, big cities, small villages, college campuses, even the freaking Boy Scouts! All have or have had dishonorable men and women in their ranks.

  • jwundubbed

    You have gotten some great advice here, but I have to address something. A bunch of people have told you not to get baptized because then the church will have power over you. That is bunk. It just isn't true.

    Baptism is a verbal contract at best and one they cannot possibly enforce. Can you imagine if you went to court over breach of contract? They have never ever even tried to do that to someone, because they don't have a leg to stand on. They have power over you only if you give them that power. The better reason not to get baptized is if you don't believe in the religion or in God.

    No one should tell you if or when to get baptized. That is a personal choice between you and God. No one else gets any say in it. It isn't a contract between you and the religion even if they say that is what it is. it isn't a legal contract and the only power it has as a contract is if you believe in it.

    For me, getting baptized was what brought me out of the JW. That was the beginning of the end for me. I didn't get baptized for them and it was that moment that I realized they had no power over me. Leaving physically and emotionally wasn't as easy as recognizing they had no power over me. I was still underage. I do not, for one moment, regret getting baptized.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    It is my opinion that IF you get baptized, you "join their club" and indicate that you are willing to obey their rules.

    If you then break their rules, then,according to their rules, they can "disfellowship" you, at which point all the rule-following JWs will shun you.

    For that reason it is best to avoid getting baptized!

    The argument about people not having power over you could be said about almost any relationship. For example, long ago I had a job that involved a lot of daily travel. One winter we had a very rare and very heavy ice-storm and I decided that road conditions were dangerous, so I called my office and told them I was staying home that day, taking a "sick day." The next day when conditions had considerably improved, my District Manager called me out for not coming in to work and told me, "in the future, >I< will decide when it is not safe for you to come in to work. To myself I replied, "No, you will only decide if you will pay me for the day or not." The Manager sat in a warm, hazard-free office and drove a desk all day. He wasn't going to tell me to get in a wreck, maimed or killed at his whim.

    There could have been negative consequences for me, in spite of the fact that I decided that >I< would control myself.

    If you get baptized and the WTB&TS decides to disfellowsip you, you can't say, "No, I'm NOT disfellowshipped."

    By the way, I got baptized 56 years ago when I was 14 because my mother and some elders TOLD ME it was time to get baptized. No one said a word about it being a "personal or private decision."

    Years ago I coined the phrase (right here on this site) that baptism was the FIRST STEP in becoming an XJW.

    Better still is it to never become a JW in the first place.

  • caves


    What you posted needed to be said.

    Wagurl, I would really ponder on what Nathan posted.

    Smiles had a really good point about , if your father has just been appointed ministerial servant then 'spiritual weakness' is probably not on the radar in your congregations mind.

    That does give you an advantage. I personally, if I were in your shoes and based on what you've said so far AND considering the global pandemic, stay put. It may not seem like it now ( unless you are being abused) but it seems like staying for a while would/could be really beneficial. Financially and some sense of structure too.

    The lesson that you can apply to almost all areas of your life is the ability to stick it out, and "fake it till you make it." It is something that no matter who you are in life, it will be applicable. There are so many times in life that one MUST put up with stuff they do not like for the sake of the long term goal. ie money, education(I hated the way some of my professors taught, but I needed those credits). I have disliked some of the rules of flats that I've rented, yet I had to grin a bear it ...until I got out. Not many people on this earth are immune to those kinds of things. You just might thank yourself in the long run. Its a skill that took me years longer to understand. This might be a good opportunity for a crash course, so to speak.

    Another example is working on a job. You may (probably will) in life encounter some buttholes that you have to maintain the peace with, to get to the next steps of your life unfolding and a paycheck for bills ect. This is good practice. Again, it will/may be really uncomfortable but the pay off could very well be worth it in terms of learning how to deal with less than desirable circumstances that arise in life. The time will pass faster than you know. Though it wont feel like it now. But it will pass. Ask any of us. At your age life seems to drag on, but that will not always be the case. One day 2ys ,5yrs, 10 years from now, you will wonder how it all went by so quickly. The best is yet to come Wagurl. Hang in there.

  • MuchCloserLook

    Why not actually consider what he believes and compare it to the Bible?

    You may discover things you haven't been able to see...

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