My dad is now a ministerial servant tonight

by Wagurl 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Wagurl

    My dad just became mistrial servant should I move out I’m almost 18. What the hell should I do?

  • caves

    In this instance, fake till you make it.

    Unless your being abused, personally I would think that staying should be ok. You don't have to tell them what you really feel about the jw organization.

    If I remember correctly, jws excuse/reasoning or rational for telling a lie is 'when someone is not entitled to hear the truth'.

    Conversely if you have a place to go that is a safe and fostering place where you can grow then do that.

    Other wise, maybe keep your ear to the ground about a place of your own and until then stick it out.

    What are the benefits of you leaving and what are the draw backs? Carefully weigh them.

  • waton

    As an appointed man he has to be exemplary in providing for you, so, hang on to the good, and take the rest with a pinch of salt. Even the daily text can be insightful in seeing through the thin web of un-truth.

    Hope he will see you through college though, depending on the level of fanaticism in your local BOE, your dad might lose his newly acquired stardom if he allows you to be educated.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I presume you are still unbaptized. Keep it that way.

    Don't be argumentative and don't express opinions contrary to his belief system. You can ask questions, but always remember that you are playing a game of psychological warfare, that you haven't been trained for, with someone who has been trained for it, so be careful not to portray yourself as Satan's Minion.

    Because I never got baptized, I managed to maintain a civil, but dysfunctional, relationship with my parents until they died. It wasn't easy, but it was better than some of the dragged out train wrecks that I know of.

  • alanv

    I used to be a mini servant. They have to be seen as setting an example, and in my case two elders came round asking me why i wasnt having a bible study with my unbaptised son. So Im just warning you. But dont get baptised whatever happens otherwise they will have a very strong hold on you.

  • Phizzy

    An Elder threatened to come round and see why I did not study with my unbaptised kids, because as an M.S I was not "setting an example". I was not going to indoctrinate my kids, even though I was PIMI at the time, so I promptly resigned, to preempt any discussion.

    It was funny, 'coz one Elder told me he admired my move, and the BOD asked me to carry on much as before, with various Duties, I was still asked to Pray before the Meetings at times too. I don't quite know how they explained my resignation to the C.O , but I bet they didn't tell him it was because I would not be bullied !

    I concur with the advice not to get baptized.

  • Smiles


    How many years has your father been "in the truth"?

  • Giordano

    This is a situation that effects many Teens. Your emotionally out but still in.

    My advice is to consider a meeting or a home bible study, or strolling around for an hour or two in the door to door service as your rent.

    It's a way to pay back for the roof over your head and food on the table.

    Start making plans for education...two year colleges are now ok with the congregations.

    In fact you can even develop a paying skill that will allow you to enter a fair number of professions. Or continue your education.

    Stay in touch.......... we have all had to deal with JW family and this incredibly sorry religion.

  • LeeT

    My parents converted when I was a kid.
    My older sister took the explosive route out and ran away to move in with her boyfriend's parents aged 16. Amazingly it worked out really well for her.

    I took the patient waiting game approach and, aged 19, left for university. I remember that period dragging on for years and being a total misery.

    Find some interest of group of friends that will mean you can get out of the house and into a JW free environment as much as possible.

    Find forms of secret rebellion. Posting here for example. I spent some time sneaking off to midweek meetings at other churches to see how they did Christianity.

    I'm guessing you've spent years being indoctrinated into learning how not to think. Learn to think. Developing critical thinking skills, a bit of logic, how to do research properly, what makes a sound argument etc are all transferable skills. Do that and you're less likely to fall for the next set of BS presented to you and you'll spot bad JW arguments all the more clearly. The number of exJW Flat Earthers I've seen is scary.

    Figure out exit strategies. Knowing I had a uni place and just needed to work and save for a year first because I had no parental support was a lifeline giving me light at the end of the tunnel.

  • Wagurl

    @smilee since I was born

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