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Are you new PIMO? (Physically In/Mentally Out)
Hi everyone. This is my first post after a few months lurking. I only woke up this year after a lifetime of JW life. Was a born in. Mum was a faithful genuine sister. Brought up all my kids to be stalwart JWs. However the youngest always had doubts and she started talking to me about CSA scandal. I didn't realise the scale of it and that the rot was on an organisational level. When I say Geoffrey Jackson in ARC was horrified and knew pretty much then that it is not God's organisation. So as they say went down the rabbit hole. Once the blinkers are taken off the Bible is full of cruelty and the whole teachings of Watchtower are bizarre. Feel a total idiot for being taken in and for so long.
So started a fade. Never had camera on with Zoom meetings anyway so just gradually cut down attendance. Had already decided not to do letter writing as felt wrong to send out letters with no name on. And did not like the fact that WT was calling it a personal ministry presumably to keep themselves clear of it. Also all those years in UK when sick and elderly etc not allowed to write letters. So now just inactive. (You may applaud).
Covid has meant we weren't seeing people anyway. I think some of my kids were shunning me for looking after the youngest in difficult times. I did a good job of bringing them up as JWs but wish had concentrated on other things now.
Have torn up 'blood card' and we have tinsel. Think I am probably an atheist. Its disturbing how can be an person in the cong for so long - did some aux and reg pioneering, bit of need greating when young, hosted book study, hospitable, always pre studied and participated in meetings, been used on circuit and district assemblies. Always tried my best through the good times and bad. Then no one really notices when you are fading away. If Jehovah was up there and me leaving was a dangerous thing to do then he hasn't tried very hard to save me.
Will now try to keep posting on here and perhaps make some friends. And I am surprised2bhere.
Thanks for all your input on these pages. It all helps.
Well done suprised2bhere. You've woken up now which is a fantastic start and this site is a great place. I actually only found this place a good few years after leaving the org but it proved a real eye opener.
I'm based in the UK but made some amazing friends both here and in America.
I only woke up this year after a lifetime of JW life.
After 40 years in, I witnessed all the drama, backstabbing, rumors, divorces, cheating, a physical fight inside the Kingdom Hall, spankings of small children where no one said a word, members who would change congregations due to conflicts with Elders, heated words on the podium from one Elder to another Elder, spousal abuse, disfellowshipping of a sister who changed her mind at the last moment not to get married, brothers (who were contractors )who were shady even to fellow members, Elders who favored family when it came down to appointments for Ministerial Servants and new Elders, loans that were never paid to fellow members ...where Elders had to step in, Elder wives knowing everything that was happening in the congregation, members who took and sold drugs, and alcoholics.
That’s the the thing that bugs me was just how easy it was to fade. I was in the troof for decades, and literally knew thousands up and down the country. Physically walked out about a decade ago, and to this day I could count on half of one hand those that I’ve been in contact with. I’m really in 2 minds as how to take it. As an insult due to their lack of concern, or as a blessing as it saved me the hassle of having to deal with them. I hear reports of people been tracked down by elders but that was certainly not the case with me. Call me fortunate I guess.
''I hear reports of people been tracked down by elders but that was certainly not the case with me.''
That's because they only want to build a case against people. Beware when '2 want to meet'. They want to build a case against you. To lay the groundwork for a JC. Then bring on the shunning.
Illustrates the callousness of the Borg.
''That’s the the thing that bugs me was just how easy it was to fade. I was in the troof for decades, and literally knew thousands up and down the country. Physically walked out about a decade ago, and to this day I could count on half of one hand those that I’ve been in contact with. I’m really in 2 minds as how to take it. As an insult due to their lack of concern, or as a blessing as it saved me the hassle of having to deal with them. I hear reports of people been tracked down by elders but that was certainly not the case with me. Call me fortunate I guess.''
You have to check out JT & Lady ExJwCritical bthinker latest video. They interview Robert Best. JT relates an interesting observation of late. The Borg is getting more and more callous and aggressive in retaining faders of years past and those who drift away,,, for whatever reasons. Seems the Borg is getting on families to harass former members,,,,gone for many years to ''Are you coming back to Org.,blah, blah, blah''
The Borg is taking on water fast....and trying to remove the water with a paper cup.
Seems the Borg is getting on families to harass former members,,,,gone for many years to ''Are you coming back to Org.,blah, blah, blah''
I too have been wondering if there has been encouragement from the Borg to contact former/inactive members because we just had a phone call from a elder that I had served with for years before fading. He is the ONLY JW that has kept some limited contact through the 6-7 years we have faded but up until this week he has never steered the conversation to "are you watching (Zoom) meetings anywhere?" In the past it's just been friendly conversation.
We also received a letter signed by two elders to encourage us to "attend" the Zoom memorial service last year.
Seem like every few years the pendulum swings back to the "let's contact all the inactive Dubs and encourage them to return [to Joe Hoover]".
You gotta be careful too, just being over at someone's house for dinner. Where someone could ask you ''why aren't you going to meetings?''
or ''Zoom meetings''
They can come right out of the blue and ask you that. Have a back-up answer in the back of your mind. In this 'Zoom' era we're in now, it's even tougher to NOT go to meetings. Especially when you have uber PIMI families who are big into the Borg.
Have some back-up idea in the back of your mind, as to why your'e not going or 'zooming', some excuse which is conducive to your situation.
Yes, finding out THATT is sure quite a struggle , when you have a large majority of your friends and family in ''it''.
Fading, without actually 'outing' yourself is taxing, to say the least. Mentally exhausting, probably on one's health also.