10. you *really* can do more before '34...
9. so many words rhyme with "thrity-four": score, door, bore, floor....the poetry/slogan possbilities are endless....
8. the ozone hole will be so big by '34, everyone will have skin cancer and wear masks to breathe easier due to pollution, so Armeggedon will be a just another day in the park....
7. The governing body is hoping there will a cure for baldness by then...("hey, we need to enter the new kingdon in style, don'tcha think?")
6. Bush/Cheney in 2004, Jehovah/Jesus in '34....
5. Anyone who was once a youth who was insulted by the "Young People Ask..." book will have Alzheimer's by '34 & will have no recollection of stupid promises and bad advice about denying yourself good sex with yourself...("nothing like having a second 'first impression'...")
4. Terrorists might bring on Armegeddon for Jehovah and save him all the work of smiting a few Republicans....("Fight for your right to be a JW anarchist..and kill a Communist, aborted, baby seal for Jesus today!")
3. That whole speil in the 1970s about going to the elders and admitting you or your spouse did more than the missionary position will seem quaint and wholesome compared to the upcoming "big brother is watching you" campaign the elders will carry out on 'net-using brother and sisters.....
2. The Williams sisters will have retired from tennis and be engaged in the full-time pioneering schtick...(besides, would you really want to see them in tight, skimpy tennis outfits by the time 2034 rolled around?)
1. It would give Prince a second-chance to remilk his "1999" song...("party like it's 2034...get your a^^ on the floor, party like it's '34...)