I hope someone can "enlighten" me. My grandmother recently passed away (91 yrs old) and they are having her funeral at the KH. I can't remember ever having to attend one when I was a kid. What can I expect to hear? I don't think I'll be allowed to get up and say anything about her, pretty much dreading going back into a KH. Also, a question was posed to me in that she was baptised a witness many years ago and was a JW in name only; pretty much inactive and was never " strong in the truth" her entire life. So how is it that her funeral can be at the KH? I'm thinking that somehow some "positive spin" will be put on this in that she had been around for so many years even after many others had left when there were changes in the organization. Thanks folks! Your the best!
What to expect at a JW funeral
by lovinglife 21 Replies latest jw experiences
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integ
Expect the speaker to use this as an opportunity to convert worldly attendees. Believe me, he will make sure to mention that they have 5 meetings a week of which one can avail themselves of the truths that will enable one to have the ressurection hope, like your Grandmother has.
Integ.
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Maverick
My ex befriended an old sister at the Hall years ago. The ex came to calling her "Mom". And over the years most of the J-duds came to think this woman is her Mom. Well 'Mom' died this past week. My daughter went to the service at the Hall. I was willing to go but THAT would have caused all kinds of trouble, so her boyfriend agreed to go with the girl. My daughter told me the Bro spent 5 minutes talking about 'Mom' and 15 minutes talking about the J-dud beliefs. This is very typical, weddings funerals and any other event is just a backdrop for them to spew their bilgewater all over the poor visitors! Maverick
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Jomavrick
Actually 'witness' funerals tend to be very well done. They tend to be respectful in tone and time is spent focusing on the one time that people really need at such a time - what the biblical hope is for those who pass on.
I have attended quite a number of church funerals in the past and they have been embarrassing to me. But in contrast, time is spent at a witness funeral discussing what is Gods purpose for us, why it is we get sick and die if God loves us as well as what hope the scriptures hold out for those that do die. And what hope there is to see loved ones again. They do not take time presenting the rediculous notion that the person is now an angel perched on a cloud somewhere and God lovingly 'took' the person, but rather people are left with more of a comforting message and a hope to see the loved one again.
Jomavrick
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blondie
Actually, non-JW funerals vary from religion to religion and from church to church. But JW funerals are "unified." There is little information said from the platform about the individual. If there is, it is in spite of the written directions from the WTS. The talk is an outline and must not be deviated from. Many times at JW funerals all the speaker does is read the obituary outloud to the audience (as if we hadn't read it already). To compensate for this lack of personalization, many families put up picture boards or photo albums in the entry area of the KH. Before and afterwards people gather and share memories of their loved one. But no memories are shared from the platform. I have seen brothers give the talk who stumbled over the pronunciation of the name of the deceased. Why, because they barely exchanged 2 words in the last 15 years with this individual because they were so busy with their important elder duties.
The thing that bothered me the most was how the "loving" JWs would ignore the non-JW family members. Never been JWs ever and certainly not "opposers" either. One sister said to me, "Perhaps hearing the talk will move them to study with JWs." I said, "Perhaps having us talk to them before and after the talk would be more effective." She looked at me as if I was nuts and left the KH without having talked to a single non-JW family.
Blondie (love is the identifying mark)
Practical Tips:
JWs will sometimes sing a song at the conclusion from their songbook. Someone may share; some families photocopy the song(s) and pass them out to attenders. Of course, there will be a prayer. Sometimes a place will be announced where food will be served to the attenders. A good place to go because it is less formal and the food is fairly good.
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CC Ryder
When Tink and I attended her Mom's funeral we had a feeling of guilt overcome us due to the emotions involved of losing her Mom after a long battle with cancer. The speaker was very good and spent alot of time talking about what a great asset her Mom was to the congregation and in the community. The songs they played were probably a big reason of the way we felt and that we had only been out of the borg for a year. Only one or two elders approached Tink to say how sorry they were. The rest of them didn't even look her way. We were not invited to go to her Mom's house to gather and eat. So we had a gathering at our house which was only a block away.
Her Uncle (not a JW) passed away last year. They did not have it at the KH, but all the J-dubs came and the shunning was worse. No one gave us the time of day.
Depending on your situation, prepare yourself for the possibility of being shunned by the majority attending. We tried to maintain in our mind that we were there for her Mom and her Uncle. BTW at her Uncle's funeral the guilt feeling was long gone. Hope things go well for you.
Welcome to the Forum!
CC
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garybuss
( The Watchtower, Oct. 15, 1952, p.639)
Questions from Readers But dedicated Christians arrange for a witness to the truth at the funeral. This is taking advantage of an opportunity.
These funeral occasions afforded great opportunities for a witness concerning the Kingdom and Messiah, and that is what funeral occasions are being used for by many of Jehovah's witnesses in these days, and extensive witnesses are being given both by the funeral discourse and by other brothers in attendance at such funerals.
(The Watchtower, June 15, 1950, p.192)
But consecrated Christians arrange for a witness to the truth at the funeral. This is taking advantage of an opportunity.
(Yearbook 1970, p.139)
Country Reports (Part One)
Though most people would never think of attending a meeting of the Witnesses, no fewer than 185 attended the funeral, the highest attendance ever for a talk by Jehovah's witnesses.
(The Watchtower, Oct 15, 1990, p.31)
Questions From Readers
Unbelieving relatives, neighbors, or business associates attending the funeral of a Christian have been favorably impressed by the large number of Witnesses present and thus have been more receptive to the Biblical truths presented.
(The Watchtower June 1 1977, p.346)
Mourning and Funerals-For Whom?
There is also the matter of giving a witness to Bible truths. Usually a funeral is attended by neighbors, acquaintances, business associates and relatives, who may not be believers.
(Awake! July 22, 1992, p.9)
The Sting of Death Removed
That is why the funeral services of Jehovah's Witnesses stand out as different from others. & They mourn, but not excessively.
(Our Kingdom Ministry, March 1997, p.7) QUESTION BOX*When the congregation is called upon to assist in arranging for a funeral, the following questions may arise:
Who should give the funeral discourse? This is a decision to be made by family members. They may select any baptized brother in good standing. If the body of elders are asked to provide a speaker, they will usually select a capable elder to give a talk based on the Society's outline. Although not eulogizing the deceased, it may be appropriate to call attention to exemplary qualities he or she displayed.
May the Kingdom Hall be used? It can if permission has been granted by the body of elders and if it does not interfere with a regularly scheduled meeting. The hall may be used if the deceased had a clean reputation and was a member of the congregation or the minor child of a member. If the individual had caused public notoriety by unchristian conduct, or if other factors exist that might reflect unfavorably on the congregation, the elders may decide not to allow the use of the hall. See Our Ministry book. Pages 62-3.
Ordinarily, Kingdom Halls are not used for funerals of unbelievers. An exception might be made if surviving family members are actively associated as baptized publishers, the deceased was well known by a fair number in the congregation to have had a favorable attitude toward the truth and a good reputation for upright conduct in the community. And no worldly customs are incorporated into the program.
When granting the use of the Kingdom Hall, the elders will consider whether it is customarily expected to see the casket present at the funeral. If it is, they might permit it to be brought into the hall.
What about funerals for worldly people? If the deceased had a good reputation in the community, a brother might give a comforting Bible talk at the funeral home or graveside. The congregation will decline to handle a funeral for one who was known for immoral, unlawful conduct or whose life-style grossly conflicted with Bible principles. A brother certainly would not share with a clergyman in conducting an interfaith service nor in any funeral conducted in a church of Babylon the Great.
What if the deceased was disfellowshipped? The congregation would generally not be involved. The Kingdom Hall would not be used. If the person had been giving evidence of repentance and manifesting a desire to be reinstated, a brother's conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or graveside, to give a witness to unbelievers and to comfort the relatives. Before making this decision, however, it would by wise for the brother to consult with the body of elders and give consideration to what may be recommended. In situations where it would not be wise for that brother to be involved, it may be appropriate for a brother who is a member of the deceased person's family to give a talk to console the relatives. Further direction can be found in the Watchtower issues of October 15, 1990, pages 30-31; September 15, 1981, page 30; March 15, 1980, pages 5 - 7; June 1, 1978, pages 5-8; June 1, 1977, pages 374 - 8; March 15, 1970, pages 191 - 2; and Awake! of September 8, 1990, pages 22 - 3 and March 22, 1977, pages 12 - 15. ***
("Pay Attention to Yourselves and to All the Flock " Unit 5 (a) p. 104)
How funeral arrangements for a disfellowshipped person may be handled:
If the disfellowshipped person had been giving evidence of repentance, some brother's conscience might allow him to give a Bible talk at the funeral home or grave site. However, the Kingdom Hall should not be used. (w81 9/15 p. 31; w77 6/1 pp. 347-8)
If the deceased still advocated false teachings or ungodly conduct, it would not be appropriate to give a funeral talk for him. (2 John 9-11 )
Keep in mind that all the related hardships and tests generated in this regard are an outgrowth of the wrong conduct of the disfellowshipped person.
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Awake! Feb 8, 1999 p. 11 Should the Dead Be Honored?Is It Wrong to Eulogize?
The principle of being balanced applies also to the matter of eulogizing the dead. At funeral services, Jehovah's Witnesses strive to comfort the bereaved. (2-Corinthians 1:3-5) A formal program may include one or more speakers. But it would be inappropriate to convert the occasion into a long parade of eulogizers extolling the deceased.
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The Watchtower July 15, 1998 p. 24 A Christian View of Funeral Customs
Funeral services conducted by Jehovah's Witnesses do not place an expensive burden on the bereaved. So it should not be necessary to have a special arrangement for those present to give money to cover lavish funeral expenses. If poor widows cannot meet necessary expenses, others in the congregation will no doubt be glad to assist. If such help is inadequate, the elders may arrange to provide material assistance for worthy ones.
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The Watchtower July 15, 1975 p. 448 Questions from Readers
Where death appears to have been accidental, even though it was reported as a suicide or may have involved mental illness, the consciences of some members of the congregation may permit them to attend the funeral to comfort the bereaved ones. Also, it is left up to the personal decision of an elder whether he will conduct such a funeral upon request. However, the congregation may prefer not to sponsor such a funeral publicly or to have it in the Kingdom Hall because of the effect it may have on the uninformed community.
On the other hand, where it is a clearly established suicide, members of the congregation and elders may desire not to become involved in the funeral.
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Yearbook of Jehovah's Witnesses 1974 p. 114 (Part One)
Since many brothers from neighboring congregations would be present for the funeral, Brother Niedersberg was asked to deliver the funeral discourse. He took advantage of this opportunity to give a forceful talk . . .
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The Watchtower July 15, 1959 pp. 447-448 Questions from Readers
Is it proper for a brother to conduct the funeral service of an individual who was never associated with Jehovah's witnesses and who committed suicide??K.
This all depends on the conscientious attitude of the brother in the truth who may be requested to perform the funeral service. If his conscience revolts against the thought because of self-murder, then he should not violate his conscience by performing the ceremony. If another capable brother feels that he can conscientiously do so, there is no objection to his doing so. Whereas he cannot preach the suicide into heaven or even hold forth Scriptural promises that the suicide will have an opportunity for life in the new world, and although he does not condone the suicide, yet he appreciates that the holding of a funeral service affords a marvelous opportunity to give a witness to God's kingdom and the blessings that it will bring to mankind, including the resurrection of the dead.
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The Watchtower March 15, 1980 p. 6 Do You Honor the Dead? ***
WHAT ABOUT FUNERALS?
A Christian funeral provides for disposal of the body in a way that meets legal sanitary requirements and is socially acceptable. It furnishes an opportunity to give comfort to the bereaved and a message of hope to all in attendance.
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Awake! Feb. 8 1999 p. 11 Should the Dead Be Honored?
the funeral affords an opportunity to extol God's marvelous qualities, including his kindness in providing us with the hope of the resurrection.
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Awake! August 8, 1979 p. 7 The Biblical Basis for a Hope
. In reality, we are obligated to make known to as many persons as we possibly can this comforting hope of a future earthly paradise. A funeral offered me a good opportunity to do this.
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Yearbook Of Jehovah's Witnesses 1989 p. 96
A funeral was scheduled in that village, and Brother Ronovsky of was to give the talk. At that time funerals afforded the only opportunity to give a witness to a large group.
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DanTheMan
, but rather people are left with more of a comforting message and a hope to see the loved one again.
Yes, as Christian witnesses of Jehovah, we can be certain that before the 1914 generation passes away, God's Word promises us that...oh, wait a minute, they changed that one didn't they? Never mind...
If they were honest about JW beliefs, they would say something like "so-and-so died faithful to Jehovah, and God's Word promises a resurrection..." "but you non-believers in attendance that are still alive - join us or die."
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mizpah
It always bothered me that a funeral or marriage was became an opportunity to "preach" to the captive audience. Many in the audience were not JWs. One could visibly see them shifting in the chairs or yawning as the "lecture" continued. They obviously did not come to hear a doctrinal discussion on death or marriage. But they were also much too polite to get up and leave.
I rarely saw any elder give comfort to the bereaved. I guess the talk was considered enough. It is this lack of love and compassion in the congregations that have turned many members away from the Watchtower Society.
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drwtsn32
Expect the speaker to use this as an opportunity to convert worldly attendees.
Exactly.... it's very offensive that a memorial service is used as a sales pitch. This isn't unique to the JWs though. My wife went to a (non-JW) memorial service for some boy who died and they were pushing their youth program. They didn't talk about the boy's life hardly at all.