This forum...Is it really healthy........??

by ScoobySnax 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Howdy Scoob.

    While I agree with those who say you (or anyone else for that matter) needs to make up their mind one way or the other, I say it must be done in your way on your own time table. Hey, it took me 9 years to make up my mind. I quit going in 1989 and didn't make a stand until the 1999 Memorial (so maybe that's 10; math is not my strong point).

    In between I was miserable. I never wanted to stop being a Witness. I liked it, I liked the people. Oh sure there were things I didn't like, but not enough to stop going, until I was confronted face to face with the 2 eyewitness rule about abuse. I was so disgusted and so furious, I quit. But even then I still kept up with the teachings and continued to live like a Witness (no Xmas, birthdays, etc.) and kept the outlook of a Witness (the UN did something, must be a sign of the end) for years and years.

    I used to beat myself up over a scripture in James (1:5-8), which says: "If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous and won't correct you for asking. But when you ask for something, you must have faith and not doubt. Anyone who doubts is like an ocean wave tossed around in a storm. If you are that kind of person, you can't make up your mind, and you surely can't be trusted. Do don't expect the Lord to give you anything at all."

    I saw myself as that man, and I took it all in that God wanted nothing to do with me because of my indecision. But what I didn't give myself credit for, is that I was asking in faith. I wanted to know where to go and what to believe. The amazing thing was that God was giving me an answer, it was just that I didn't like the answer. I was boxing God into giving me a certain answer (only JWs have truth, you must go back) and when I didn't get that answer, I made it that I was a bad person and God didn't care. But he did and he waited patiently for me to see what was there the whole time.

    I see you in the same spot Scott, and I don't envy you. I also suspect deep down you know which way you're going to go, but I think you're just not ready to go there yet. And that's okay. You've got your whole life ahead of you, and I think when you are ready, you'll throw off this indecision like the heavy burden it is. And when you do, and you become the man you are meant to be you will look back on this period in amazement and wonder what took so long. Just realize that God doesn't make crap, and he knows who you are and what's in your heart and he's waiting, patiently and kindly, for you.

    In the meantime, don't make the mistake I did. Give yourself a break, and don't beat yourself up. You're doing the best you can right now. You'll get there.

    Chris

    "Now we know almost everything, but we know seems incredible. Impossible." -- Hercule Poirot

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface
    to be or not to be ...

    to me more a question of pleasure or not ... (A)

    I don't care about the JW or ex JW status but the common background it is kind of bond (to talk about this board), had a look on other few boards those last months (JWs or not - professionals or not ), didn't feel the need to post, not because they were not interesting, (because this one was my first forum experience, I've tought a little while it was special) I just needed to observed peoples behavior, and it is the same everywhere

    (A) Because I get attached to people very quick but the inverse also, it can be tiring and not really constructive at the end ...

    So I'm only going to sticking to this one (it's enough) cause I already know a few people I'd like to meet one day in the real life, will following their posts to have a little idea of what we can really share together ... that is it ... and time will tell when I'll fly away from here ...

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    I worked through my JW issues a while back, but I hang around because there's lots of people I can talk to about different things.

    CZAR

    HI

  • gumby
    gumby
    ....I mean is it really healthy to be posting on this forum if you still hold pro-jw views?

    From a witnesses point of view.......no it is not healthy. From the point of view coming from those who have learned the Organisation is a destructive sect......then it's very healthy to those who can think clearly.

    Now .....about moving on. For some reason people seem to think that there should come a time when each person should eventually leave this place. That is viewed by some as "growing", or......moving on.

    Why does a person have to think that leaving this place is...' moving on'? If you stay here for amny years........does that mean you haven't grown, and your still dependent on others? I think not.

    Gumby

  • minimus
    minimus

    The forum is sound. The participants? That's a tough one. I think anyone should be able to post their opinions but must realize that their will be a reaction for whatever is said here (and that's healthy!).....Fence sitters need to know that they can sit on the fence as long as THEY want. And those that watch and listen to the fence sitters can point out why sitting on barbed wire is not healthy, all we want.

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    I think this forum is great for all considered. For those looking to leave, in process, and those who have left. For some, this site is way beyong witness issues. This is a place to talk, have fun, learn, and enjoy the company of many others who have suffered similar issues with the organization.

    For me, I do not have to be convinced that the WTS is wrong. I still have loved ones involved, and this gives me a chance to know what is going on within the organization. Many times, before they do! Plus, I enjoy listening to the viewpoints of many, many people.

    All and all, I feel this site is very healthy for thousands of people, and many, many more to come.

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    no, because it is addictive....

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    It partly depends what mood I am in.

    I understand that ppl need to rant at times because of the hurt they feel (hell, I do), but it sometimes depresses me when ppl are scathing, derisory and sneering at others - esp. at dubbies, many of whom are doing the best they can with the misleading knowledge they have. OK, some are right b******* , but they're not all that way and the good ones deserve our love and sympathy, not our ridicule and condemnation. That's how an 'in-betweener' sees it anyhoo

    OTOH, there are some here whose posts glow with encouragement and wisdom (including on this thread, Dawn's and Gypsywildone's and others' - willyloman, Wild Horses, Big Tex). The challenge of such a vast and varied site as this is to find those ones that enhance our psychological (or spiritual) health rather than destroy it.

    I agree with the one who said that coming on these forums can be a way of escaping REAL life and it's better to get out there and live it (advice I need to heed, I think). I also agree that one needs to take their time especially when there are various ramifications to consider, to take a break from here every so often to regain perspective, and to read your Bible.

  • Inquiry
    Inquiry

    Hi Scoob...

    I gotta say I agree with Min... the forum is excellent... well run and very helpful... and not leastly.. very interesting... I"ve been an ex-jw for over 6 years and am quite over it for the most part... but, it's a history that most don't share in real life... and frankly, explaining it to someone who hasn't had that experience is a waste of time... so if an issue comes up or if I just feel like it, I'll come here... it's a comfort and a pleasure for me to be able to...

    Each person derives value from their experiences from what their expectations are. And only you can speak to yours... I think the key is to be balanced about those expectations... also to understand that what one person might think of as treasure another might think of as garbage....

    Just my 2

    Inq

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