My JW niece is getting married ... typical JW drama

by wannabefree 25 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • GLTirebiter

    I'm not invited. ... My wife is fully in and of course is invited

    You are husband and wife. It is a package deal, a married couple invited to wedding is invited as "one flesh" just as the two being married are joining themselves into one. Any wedding invitation extended to one married partner must properly include the spouse. Any claim to the contrary is not just abominable etiquette, it is an insult to your marriage.

  • wannabefree
    It is a package deal ... . Any wedding invitation extended to one married partner must properly include the spouse. Any claim to the contrary is not just abominable etiquette, it is an insult to your marriage.

    HA HA! So true GLTirebiter! Maybe in the wicked worldly way, but not in the convoluted rules of JW Land!

    "We received an invitation" was an erroneous introductory statement. The invitation was expressly addressed to Mrs. Doesn't Wannabefree and Daughter Freebutneverbaptized.

  • wannabefree

    I spoke with my wife about this and she agreed that it was rude that I was excluded from the invite yet she still plans on attending.

    I'm tired of being disposable in my marriage when it comes to the cult.

    I do nothing to prevent my wife from participating in her religion but that she doesn't take a stand and draw the line here is bothering me.

    Am I wrong?

  • jp1692

    No, you are not wrong.

    Have you told her how you feel?

    As I've often said, "If it's conditional, it ain't love!"

  • arwen

    I had a friend with two daughters. One was baptized. Getting married at Kingdom Hall her older sister never baptized was going to be in the wedding. The elders said no and said she couldn’t be in the wedding with tattoos. She said if they didn’t approve she would stand outside the hall all dressed up on the wedding day but refusal to go inside. This was going to be her protest. When it all came down to the wire they did allow her to be a bridesmaid. I was a very very close friend to this bride. Like a second mother but because I had DA myself I was not invited. There is no sense at all in this cult.

  • just fine
    just fine

    When they do things like this they are asking your spouse to be complicit in shunning you - which she is agreeing to.

    When I have been invited to family functions I decline after I ask if my DF’d neice’s and nephews are invited.

  • wannabefree

    just fine ... the thing is, technically, as far as JW's are concerned, I'm inactive, I haven't been to the Kingdom Hall in 7 years. I have no problem not being included with my wife in JW activities, I'm sure she gets fewer invitations to do things with JW friends since she became a sister who's husband has faded.

    Sure, we know JW's are to avoid unnecessary contact with faded JW's, but this is a family wedding. "Worldly" relatives are invited. It would seem proper to invite her husband to their niece's wedding. I can't imagine accepting an invitation to an event like this that blatantly excluded my wife.

    I can't even understand the thought process. What even went through the family member's mind when preparing the guest list?

    On the one hand, YAY! I don't have to go to this wedding! On the other hand ... seriously?

    I really don't give a rat's ass about going to the wedding. I'm hurt for my daughter and how she has been treated. I'm pissed at my wife because whenever there are opportunities to stand by her husband, she will always yield to anything cult related.

    ... Jeez! I could go on and on and ....

  • jp1692

    Have you considered telling your wife that you're really disappointed in her lack of support for you or your daughter?

  • wannabefree

    jp1692 - no, it's a pattern with her, we had a discussion about the invitation ... I brought it up ... she felt it was rude too and had come to that before we talked about it, her reply was basically, to paraphrase "what do you expect, consider the source, it's my brother" ... it's more a marriage problem than anything else and I just don't see much of a point

  • Lett The Shunning Begin
    Lett The Shunning Begin

    Hi wannabefree,

    I raised 2 daughters myself. I have been through the drama with my oldest when the Body of Elders refused to let her be married in the KH, and I was part of the Elder Body at the time!!

    I feel your pain. The situation sucks for sure, especially with your wife being pulled way from you and more towards the Org. The only thing I can say is try to keep showing love to your dear wife and hopefully she will eventually wake up to the hypocrisy of the Org.

    At least your daughter is wise to the Org's nonsense. Hopefully your wife will wake up soon as well.

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