There is a danger in researching the WT right off. When I finally learned all that I was up against, I dipped in to a depression. I was not at my best fighting trim at that time. Approaching my JW partner with my dread just pushed him farther away. I have calmed down. Now I have a strategy. Not that I will share all of it publicly. Any one married to a JW who wants some ideas can PM me.
To make our marriage work, there has to be a high level of mutual respect. I have to be ever vigilant, because the WT strategy is to be mild, patient, understanding ...UNTIL they can convince you to become one of them. This strategy puts the JW partner under incredible strain. Especially as the years roll by and the partner appears no closer to joining. I, also, must remain on my guard at all times. One benefit of our mutual difference, is that I have studied my own beliefs and put them to the test. I am now much more clear on what I believe and why I believe it.
And for him to think he is choosing God -this what I can't get past. So I end up being the one against God !!!
Right on the money, Will Power! I dreamed for many years what a Christian marriage would be like, and I still believe a couple with a mutual love for God are drawn closer together. By developing a deep spiritual intimacy with their Maker, they become more intimately drawn to each other as well. ...so why does a JW's faith in God become a wedge? Is it because they really believe your faith is false - that you are praying to the Evil One? How can then a JW partner develop a spiritual intimacy with their partner?
Matthew 18:20 (MSG)"And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I'll be there."
Christmas is a real bummer. It becomes a battle zone of ideals rather than a rememberance of warmth, music, giving, food, family, and friendships. I need all of my normal friends during the Christmas season to keep it special.