When or how is a non-JW spouse considered a "Spiritual Endangerment"?

by marriedtodamob 21 Replies latest social relationships

  • gti2002
    gti2002

    This has really scared me, my husban WAS a witness b4 we met, then got disfellowshipped because of me and now wants to go back to it so he can see his parents. He assures me that it won't change my life at all and we can still have xmas, birthdays etc.....

    My personal feeling on the doctrines and beliefs are that the whole thing is beyond crap, I was raised an RC and whilst I do not practice I have an enquiring mind and do unfortunately have a rather large mouth.

    Is my marriage as good as over??? I have told him that I won't stop him going but don't want ANYTHING to do with it, not even talk about it as I regard it as rather brainless. What do you think, please help.......?????

  • Guest 77
    Guest 77

    OK, let me get this straight, my wife and I had different beliefs when we got married, does this mean that we were 'spiritual' endangerment to each other?

    Guest 77

  • 95stormfront
    95stormfront
    This has really scared me, my husban WAS a witness b4 we met, then got disfellowshipped because of me and now wants to go back to it so he can see his parents. He assures me that it won't change my life at all and we can still have xmas, birthdays etc.

    Your husband is lying through his teeth and he knows it.

    If nothing were to change than why was he disfellowshipped because of you?

    My wife said the same thing when she decided to "return to Jehovah" after we were married. But the subtle changes could not be ignored, books and momentos I'd collected that didn't fit in with her new spirituality secretly thrown away, activities we used to share in I now had to do by myself, the snide comments about what I viewed as harmless entertainment.

    Look for your full-time husband to turn into a part-time roommate whose every decision and thought is strained through that latest of what the WT has to say. Look forward to spending at least two nights and two days a week alone while he engages in his new theocratic activities.

    My personal feeling on the doctrines and beliefs are that the whole thing is beyond crap, I was raised an RC and whilst I do not practice I have an enquiring mind and do unfortunately have a rather large mouth.

    Put that enquiring mind to work and gather as much factual supportable information on the WT blunders as you can for the inevitable avalanche of encouragement and efforts to "win you over". Whenever he pulls one of his WT polished guilt trips or flawed logic out of his well stocked bag, use the knowledge you have gained and that "rather large mouth" to blow him clean out the water and don't let up. He certainly won't.

    Is my marriage as good as over??? I have told him that I won't stop him going but don't want ANYTHING to do with it, not even talk about it as I regard it as rather brainless.
    My particular marriage didn't die because of this, but, after getting in myself, realizing that it was a bunch of bullSH**, and getting out two years later, it took quite a while for my wife and I to develope the ground rules by which she can continue to be a JW knowing my opposition to the WT, I can have my own activities and holidays with extended family, and we both be happy. It can work, but you both are gonna have to really work hard at it and not be influenced by the inevitable WT elder interference.
  • concerned mama
    concerned mama

    gti2002,

    Ask your husband to get you the JW book "The Secrets of Family Happiness", or you ask his parents for a copy. This book tells all about how a JW marriage is supposed to be. Read it, then go through the specific issues with your husband to see how each of you feels. If he wants his marriage and life to become what is suggested in that book, you may be the one who will no longer want to be a part of it.

    I'm not JW. I found that book highly insulting both as a woman and a normal person.

  • marriedtodamob
    marriedtodamob

    From my own very recent personal experience with my husband going back (getting reinstated after being da'd for 10 yrs) EVERYTHING that storm has said IS TRUE and IS HAPPENING just as he said. We are working on our marriage, but it is very very difficult. He is not keeping me from "celebrating" any of the holidays or birthdays, but his "non-participation" after 5 years of celebrating all together is absolutely disheartening. I am going through this for the first time this holiday season. He will not even sign christmas cards much less anything else. I think he will be going down to visit his JW family while my son and I "celebrate" without him. The TRAGEDIES that this religion causes are monstrous!!!

    mobbie

  • gti2002
    gti2002

    I have read the Family Happiness book, well parts of it. I found it insulting to say the least - I did actually go along to a few meetings. The Watchtower Study reminded me of an 'English As A Second Language' course. It was pathetic. A girl came round to give me a bible study and in the end she gave up and didn't come back - I am clearly too difficult. What do you think the odds are of me being declared an apostate????

  • 68storm
    68storm

    gt, they can't class you as an apostate because you were not baptised as a dub, but you may be seen as an opposer. That is exactly what happened to me.

    I still shake my head whenever someone on this board posts rules and regulations from the society's writings. The rules are made up as they go along. There are no set rules. Each congregation seems to look at it differently. In my humble opinion, Osama could learn a thing or two from this group.

    My ex was allowed to leave and I have never been able to find out the reason. I wrote to the boys at Bethel and received a one-liner stating that they do not get involved in personal matters. If anybody believes that, I have some nice swamp land in Florida for sale.

    68storm

  • Will Power
    Will Power

    Just found this thread.

    How are you all doing now 2 months later, Married-to-da-mob, gt, et al.

    I have been wrestling with this since 1999 and looks like the end is nigh.

    I am a non-jw wife with a big mouth. (I've always had the big mouth - but now somehow it doesn't fit in with the newly acquired JW mindset of my husband of 20 years ! )

    I'd like to comment on a few bits of this thread if I may.

    Put that enquiring mind to work and gather as much factual supportable information on the WT blunders as you can for the inevitable avalanche of encouragement and efforts to "win you over". Whenever he pulls one of his WT polished guilt trips or flawed logic out of his well stocked bag, use the knowledge you have gained and that "rather large mouth" to blow him clean out the water and don't let up. He certainly won't.

    Be extremely careful when investigating this high control group. Depression can set in and its a long road back. Learning about all the crap (no offence against crap) sure sucks the life out of life. When you look evil (is what I call deception & manipulation) in the eye, it can be very disturbing. Read Orwell's 1984 or Animal Farm.

    From my own very recent personal experience with my husband going back (getting reinstated after being da'd for 10 yrs) EVERYTHING that storm has said IS TRUE and IS HAPPENING just as he said. We are working on our marriage, but it is very very difficult. He is not keeping me from "celebrating" any of the holidays or birthdays, but his "non-participation" after 5 years of celebrating all together is absolutely disheartening. I am going through this for the first time this holiday season. He will not even sign christmas cards much less anything else. I think he will be going down to visit his JW family while my son and I "celebrate" without him. The TRAGEDIES that this religion causes are monstrous!!!

    (((((married)))) I know exactly how you feel. And that is the tip of the iceberg isn't it. How are you coping now? The new personality is what is impossible to get used to. I know I cannot trust my husband now. Not like before (women) but now if I really needed him on a meeting night what would win? And for him to think he is choosing God -this what I can't get past. So I end up being the one against God !!!

    Let me know how you are doing, I am at a crossroads.

    Will Power

    p.s. just about forgot this gem

    I'm not JW. I found that book highly insulting both as a woman and a normal person.

    I met with an elder a few years ago and read a few passages from the bible to start off our little meeting. I was called offensive because prayer is supposed to be private. It wasn't til recently that I realized he wasn't offended because I led a prayer but it was because I was a woman and that right is reserved for the one in the group closest to God - himself !. and me as a normal person - now I'm insulted !!!

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    shoot - trouble ahead. Sympathy.

    If you do anything with a uija board, tarot cards, even horoscopes - he can dump you and remarry.

    CZAR

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    My parents marriage went straight to hell when my dad would not let mom take us to the meetings or in FS anymore. He never tried to get HER to stop going to meetings. When she would witness to him he would get his apostate literature and ask for equal time. That house was a war zone for about a year until mom left because of "spiritual endangerment". I was very young but I still remember some of the fighting like it was yesterday. I dreaded Tues, Thurs, and Sundays.

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