by anglise 19 Replies latest jw experiences
Thankyou everyone for your thoughts and experiences.
What I have found difficult is explaining to a non spiritual person .
Also hard to explain is the unwritten but implied instructions from the WTBTS, such as "its up to each individuals conscience" versus"mature christian". You knew what you where supposed to do even though to the outsider reading or hearing such phrases it sound as though you have a choice.
Anglise
I haven't really discused such matters with non-jws. Few of them, I would guess, can understand what some of the stuff that goes through our minds is really all about.
I just didn't talk about it for a long time. I would to my husband a little but he thought what I was saying was so far "out there" that I was exaggerating. After getting to know my family & reading on this site some he still now sits in amazement.
Used to he would sit and listen to me ramble, but I could tell he only sit there because he knew whatever I was saying was important to me, certainly not because he understood or actually believed most of what i was saying.
If there is ever a simple explaination, I hope it is shared here.
I find the most difficult part is making others understand that JWs are a cult; they don't believe me. They think I'm being too dramatic or that I'm overstating. That, I think, is the most difficult for folks to understand.
starfish, so true, my feelings exactly
rocketman
Few of them, I would guess, can understand what some of the stuff that goes through our minds is really all about.
Even if they try, it's like being pregnant, you can't know how it feels till you've been there.
tal
((((kyria))))
I wonder if the WT is banking somewhat on this embarassment, in an odd way. I mean, if anyone admits that they were a member of what they now see as a cult, there is generally a lot of humility involved, and it isn't in our natures to want to be humble. This, what you are now, is of more importance than what you once were.
"Blessed are the poor in spirit..."
******
Personally, as a non-JW, I WISH more ex-JWs would be more open about their experiences . We don't have a clue about the extent of emotional control and the damage to families, etc., unless someone SAYS something or (like I did here) we stumble across a place like this where it's finally out in the open. My husband at first thought that the reactions of being disfellowshiped were overstated--until he began to read and understand all the implications of it (being worthy of death; cut off from God; families ripped apart, etc). If he disliked the WT before, he detests it utterly now. So, a site like this is very helpful for non-JWs like us.
I think of all the potential good that ex-witnesses could do. You have a lot of authority on this subject! I want to cheer each time I hear that more people are recognizing this organization as a vicious wolf. One less potential victim this abuser won't get.
Please don't underestimate the ability of non-JWs to grasp, even if it is still limited, the religious abuse you have suffered. One need not be a rape victim to grasp the evil of rape, thank goodness.
bebu
Its funny really...or sad I guess actually.
I look back on the 20+ years that I was in the org and try to help my (never a jw) wife understand what it was like...
She seems to think that I am at least reasonably bright and can't imagine how I could have believed all of the odd teachings and blindly accepted each round of "new light". I can't explain the power they held over me and my family nor can I believe that I fell for it myself most of the time.
Now that I am "out" I would never just accept something like that without at least researching it or questioning it.
Live and learn I guess....
RGW
CJ and I have talked at length with a good number of non-jws, about our background and coming out.
We have been pleasantly surpised at how interested all of them have been, and how incredulous they are of our story. Some of these conversations have gone on for hours, and it has been very satisfying for us to perform a reverse witness.
If it wasn't for the fact that these people have become such good friends, and they know us and trust us, they would probably not believe the information we are relaying to them.
So it can be explained, but it flies in the face of what a lot of non jws think they know about the jws.
xjw_b12 "Millions Now Living Will Never Die Know"
Have you ever tried to explain to someone who has no religious leaning how you once truly believed that you could live forever and that now you are no longer a JW that certainty is gone.
Yes, Yes, Yes ... I even launch the subject and it goes like this : Do you know ??? Well forget !!! You don't need to believe me on words but be aware !!! and ... check this and this and this !!!
(and how hard that is to deal with at times?)
Well not that much to me, I feel better in thinking that I'm no longer judged by a god who is not able to understand me as well I'm not able to understand him
What I have found difficult is explaining to a non spiritual person .
That may be because they are non spiritual. Perhaps they feel they would never accept anything other than our material world and living their lives the way they want to . The "fault"? is theirs not yours . 1 Cor 2.14.
I have found it so refreshing to be able to talk absolutely honestly about religion, or anything else. No more having to toe the party line and defend an argument that you did not feel comfortable with. I have been able to tell it as it is on a few occasions and I am sure my workmates would be a lot less likely to listen to a witness now .
With my workmates, most but not all of whom are evangelical, fundamentalist Christians, I don't discuss with any degree of specificity my religious past (JW) or present (Neo-Pagan - Druid, to be precise). They would obviously feel that I jumped from the frying pan into the fire, and would probably wonder why they failed to convert me during my in-between period. Although I see them as generally very sincere people who live their faith (more so than many of the JWs I knew), that doesn't mean that I can adopt their beliefs as my own, or that I would want to try to fit my mind into that mold.
However, when I meet new people, I size up both them and my relationship with them, and if I judge that it may be beneficial and is unlikely to be harmful, I will openly discuss with them my JW past and/or my Neo-Pagan present.
Both JWism and Paganism may be viewed as "dumb," or "insane," or "socially unacceptable" by people who are content with orthodoxy and mainstream thinking, or by those who have found it necessary and appropriate to divorce themselves from religious perspectives altogether. To those who hold such opinions of my chosen paths (former and present), I have to say, "I will never be able to be you, I will always have to be me instead. I can enjoy and appreciate you, even though we are different and don't agree on a host of things. I'd like to entertain the hope that you could be as accepting and appreciative of me." Of course, I wouldn't have been able to say all of that as a JW, but I have adjusted my perspective.
Cruithne
