The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse - Part 1

by Lady Lee 32 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Scully

  Lee:

  I've read this book and another one by Jeff VanVonderen: Tired of Trying to Measure Up, which also deals with the subject of spiritual abuse and performance based belief systems.

  Both of these books were extremely helpful (if not instrumental) in breaking the stranglehold the JW belief system had on me on an emotional level. Being able to identify the psychology behind abusive belief systems in general - without the "apostate literature" bogeyman looming over my head as I read these books - was the eye-opener that I needed.

  I have recommended these two books (among others, including When God Becomes a Drug, by Leo Booth) to people who are exhausted by the demands of being JWs, who are not yet ready to explore anything that might be considered "apostate".

  Love, Scully

  
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  Lady Lee

  Ok

  I am a spiritual abused survivor.

  It's about time this issue is addressed. So much emphasis goes on physical, emotional and mental abuse these days that many don't realize how spiritual abuse can cause a lot of 'core' damage that CANNOT be re-paired.

  Thank you for posting about it.

  sKally

  I'm sorry to hear that sf. Too many people have been spiritually abused. There IS alot of focus on other forms of abuse. Hence my effort to bring it out here. I agree that it causes severe damage to us and our beliefs.

  Um, I never mentioned the jws in my post.

  I said I am a survivor of this abuse on my spirituality, as a child. Thusly, it has damaged my relationship with the God I had cherished then.

  sKally

  sf I don't believe the damage is irreparable. We may need to work on it. It may need to change a bit from what it once was. And we will always wear the scars. But I do believe once the issues are addressed we can improve that relationship if we desire to and are ready.

  Nevrmind that.

  I said I was abused spiritually and all you keep saying is it isn't about being a jw. You aren't addressing anything else I stated in my post.

  Anytime I actually do relate some of my past and present results of such, it nevr gets addressed or even acknowledged.

  This board gets sadder every day.

  sKally

  My apologies sf. Perhaps if you spoke of HOW you were hurt I might be better able to address your experience

  Lee
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  Lady Lee

  Scully

  I have heard of When God Becomes a Drug but haven't read it.

  The other book Tired of Trying to Measure UpI have not heard of. Guess I will be looking for them.

  I too appreciate the unbiased examination of the issue in the Subtle Power book. It helped me see that others experience spiritual abuse and can recognize it
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  sf

  There, now that wasn't so hard, was it?

  Why do the 'particulars' matter? Do you ask a physical rape survivor for such details? Do such details matter, really?

  Thanks for the reply though. It is appreciated.

  sKally
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  Lady Lee

  Why do the 'particulars' matter? Do you ask a physical rape survivor for such details? Do such details matter, really?

  I guess not
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  waiting

  Thanks Lee,

  In EVERYaspect, the above fits JW's like a glove. In every way.

  Guess I'll just have to enlarge my reading list, eh?
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  blondie

  The book does not specifically address the JWs. In fact I don't think they are even mentioned but you will see the mark of the WTS all over the place in this book.

  That's completely true LL. The techniques of spiritual abuse are identified used by any Christian group. I found that good because it could be easy to leave one spiritually abusive group only to join another if these tactics weren't clearly seen. I find this an excellent point because it is not an anti-JW book.

  Of course, most of us here experienced this spiritual abuse as JWs but some may have experienced it in a previous religious affiliation as well.

  Whatever your experience, this book is excellent in helping the reader on how to identify abuse and not be manipulated again. I re-read it every 4 months just to make sure I haven't lost sight of the victimization techniques.

  Sections I found helpful:

  Spiritual Abuse Is Not New

  Identifying the Abusive System

  When You Cannot Leave

  Abuse and Scripture

  Image is Everything

  Straining Gnats, Swallowing Camels

  Blondie
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  Big Tex

  Good post Lee.

  I read "When God Becomes A Drug" 10 or 12 years ago and it really helped. Unfortunately for me I was still trying to find a way to stay a Witness. I remember reading and pointing things out to Nina, who would just kind of look down and mumble. She REALLY did not want to talk about this subject back then. It would be several years before I finally made the break emotionally but I do remember what Mr. Booth wrote.
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  Lady Lee

  Blondie I plan to post the following section on the board

  • Identifying the Abusive System
  • When You Cannot Leave
  • Abuse and Scripture
  • Image is Everything
  • Straining Gnats, Swallowing Camels

  Hopefully people will find it helpful.

  I have spoken to some exJWs who left the dubs only to ge tinvolved in another abusive religion.

  The info can only help us
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  Lady Lee

  Hi BT now I have to find that book