Born-In Fading Out

by NC1998 14 Replies latest jw experiences

  • NC1998

    I was raised in it. There were questions, but the psychological abuse prevented me from ever really getting answers. I am naturally a logical thinker in spite of my decades of indoctrination, and my brain just never could get passed things that were glaringly huge issues. Problem was I had too many mental issues to break through, but inside something was happening.

    I wouldn't know how far I'd gone until I recently found the issues that were never reported on by (that I can find evidence of) that happened back in 2015 in Australia. Why hadn't they told us? They always jump on opps to show how Satan was attacking "us", so this really flipped a switch. I had to find out. And I watched the questioning of Jackson. And I read the full 130ish page document published by the Aus Royal Commission. The repeated lying and constant dodging Mr. Jackson did would have been enough that I would have walked away just from it alone. But then the details of how the decision to hide sexual abusers was based not on a desire to (however twisted it might have been) follow scriptural interpretation, but literally what they felt they could get away with based on legal technicalities. That just....I couldn't anymore.

    So many things now I'm able to process in my head. Why is even looking at "apostate" info a threat to one's spiritual well-being if people are free to see anything when they are searching on their own for a religion and some still come to JW? That shouldn't be possible. Why the focus on hours reported? Why the lies stating "we" never petitioned men for money when they used to sell the literature? Why so many things that now make perfect sense. Because it's not about righteousness. It's just about control and validation of their hierarchy.

    I know. This stuff is obvious to people here. But it helps to put it to words. Ignoring issues has been my life for decades. Now I'm free to think, and it feels amazing.

  • Phizzy

    You are most welcome here, you will find any support and advice you need, and you will find real love, despite what you have been told about XJW's.

    Many have walked the road that you have taken the first steps on, the Road to True Freedom, we are here for you,and I hope many many more like you.

    It is not an easy Road to begin with, a bit like the " Narrow Way" that Jesus spoke of, but the going gets easier, and the rewards along the way are just tremendous !

    Keep going, happiness and personal development and fulfilment are ahead !

  • Cadellin

    Doesn't it, though? Welcome!

  • Sea Breeze
    Sea Breeze
    Once the mind starts processing reality after decades of suppression, it can be overwhelming.
    But, once the dam is broken, it will never be able to hold water again.
    Just let it flow brother.
  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Welcome NC1998 - from a seasoned fader.

    Take your fade slowly and carefully so as to make your exit as little trouble as possible.

    If you need any info regarding anything during your fade, just ask here or P.M.

    All the best.

  • JayDubyaDotOrg

    If I could recommend something on YouTube, recommended for all here, a channel called Watchtower Examination.

    It is helping me a great deal with my fade.

    Wishing you good luck.

  • NC1998

    Thanks everyone! My wife actually knows my position, and is being supportive, but she's still in denial.

    She seems to think I can just tell the elders I don't want to go to meetings or out in service, and they won't seek to discipline me. I really doubt that. I'm sure total refusal to meet with them is the safest way to go, and I can't see me saying that I'm basically disassociating myself without using that specific word would end any other way than being booted. Am I thinking straight?

  • Beth Sarim
    Beth Sarim


    Hello and welcome. You can try to fade out, fading is tough hard work and planning. People may make note of your ''lack of spiritual enthusiasm''. And ''questions'' may be coming your way.

    Just try missing meetings here and there and slowly reduce your serve-us time.

    Ray Franz Crisis of Conscience is readily available on amazon now and also you can get In Search of Christian Freedom if you are patient and willing to pay a little more.

  • Sigfrid Mallozzi
    Sigfrid Mallozzi
    The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.
    Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • Biahi

    I faded over 35 years dad (elder) protected me. If they ask you if you believe the FDS, aka, the Governing Body, can dispense truth, DO NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION.

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