Would you have married your spouse if you weren't both JWs?

by 3rdgen 55 Replies latest jw friends

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  Finkelstein

  The JWS religion is just another social environment where males meet females and since its in an environment of trust and a subjective imposed identity placed upon the members, marriages occur, some make it some don't.

  What may be surprising to many is that the JWS have the same amount of divorces than non-JWS or worldly people as they refer them to.

  The JWS leaders will never honestly admit to that fact/truth though.

  I would say most of that may come to the fact that people are pushed into marriages for sexual reasons, less for compatibility reasons and that they are forced to marry another JWS.

  Look at it this way, a single congregation may have only 100 people in it or less, but the single people there have no choice but to marry another JWS.

  The facts relate to whom is the right person for one and another is compressed in this kind of environment.
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  freemindfade

  No
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  stephanie61092

  Not married, but as for my boyfriend... There's a possibility we would have met even without being JWs. I moved to his area for work and we probably would've eventually met as he seems to have a connection to everyone (popular guy!). I know I still would have been attracted to him ;) Some things would've been different though for sure. For one, when he was 18, he got DFed and managed to get himself reinstated and when we met, I had a great deal of respect for him because of that. So that aspect would've been gone if we were never JWs. However, I'm grateful to have wound up with someone who woke up not long after me and is helping, encouraging me through this dreadful process. Now, I'm not so sure I could be with a person who didn't have a JW background and who couldn't appreciate the craziness and trauma that the cult inflicts onto people.
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  My Name is of No Consequence

  Would you have married your spouse if you weren't both JWs?

  Ouch. That is a tough and eye-opening question. We probably would not have married each other. If we weren't witnesses, there would have been more choices and more chances to meet other people.
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  Ucantnome

  For me the decision was based on Armageddon coming shortly within the generation. If I wasn't a raised a JW I wouldn't have had that belief.
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  fulano

  THE first thing I did when leaving full-time duty and going to the hall...get rid of that bitch.

  My brother divorced and my sister as well.
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  Scully

  Were it not for the JWs, Mr Scully and I would never have crossed paths.
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  Xanthippe

  Objectively speaking, but for the religion, did you have enough in common with your spouse to have met and married as non believers?

  Yes we both liked walking in the countryside. We'd enjoyed similar books as children. We both preferred sci fi on TV to sport. We both gave 100% to whatever we believed in, which was our undoing. Leaving the religion, losing family, friends, our faith and life purpose nearly broke us.

  We worked damn hard to make a life afterwards. There were lots of problems along the way, health, financial, but I suppose we leaned on and helped each other and it ended up being a good 27 year marriage. I'm glad I met him and I still miss him.

  Here's a funny thing, we got talking when we first met about places we'd been to and it turned out we visited the same holiday village in Wales in the same year, in the same month, two weeks apart.
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  DesirousOfChange

  No, because we would have never met on that Bethel Tour.

  She is the best thing that I have in life as a result of being a JW.

  Doc
  
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  3rdgen

  Great responses guys!

  Doubtfully, How nice that you two are in sync.

  Brandnew, It's a new day. Beer goggles down, replaced with my usual rose colored ones.

  Fink, Yes the pool of single people at the KH is frequently shallow.

  Freemind, Sorry :(

  Stephanie, I'm glad you found someone so well suited for you. I totally understand the bonus of your boyfriend understanding the crazy of the cult.

  My NIONC, You are realistic. It's a big world outside of the Borg.

  YCNme, Harm-a-geddon one of the greatest motivators in Dubland!

  Fulano, sorry things didn't work out for you and your sibs.

  Scully, It seems it turned out well regardless. Good.

  Xan, What a nice story! I can relate about the aftermath of leaving nearly broke you. I'm am feeling very bruised and broken myself.