The wife told me I think too much...

by James Mixon 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    This will probably sound too simplistic to be of any help to you but give it a try anyway and you'll be surprised at how effective it is.

    Write down and memorize 10 positive affirmations and when you notice that you're caught up in unwanted thoughts, repeat your affirmations over and over silently or out loud, until the unwanted thoughts you are having, are crowded out of your mind.

    At first the unwanted thoughts will creep back as your repeat your affirmations but if you gently push them aside and continue with your "mantra", you'll find that in time, you will have overcome the bad habit of letting your thoughts snowball as if they have a will of their own. You will be able to switch channels in your mind, any time you want which is a useful tool to possess.

    You need to have a "head full of peace" at bed time, so instead of mulling the days events over in your mind when you lay your head on your pillow, simply repeat your affirmations over and over. If you are like me, you'll doze off to sleep instead of rehashing things that can be dealt with at a more appropriate time.


    • I am calm and at peace
    • I am in control of my thoughts and emotions
    • I choose to dwell on peaceful and uplifting thoughts
    • My life is not an emergency
    • I am a strong and capable person
    • I live one day at a time
    • My body is relaxed and tranquil
    • I do the best I can each day
    • I am happy and healthy
    • My mind is at peace

    Your affirmations should be relevant to your life, be said in the present tense and spoken as if they are so, even if they aren't necessarily true at the moment.

  • steve2

    Having an active thinking brain may seem like a burden in the short term - but it sure helps you get out of pickles in the long term.

    If it wasn't for my active, thinking brain, I'd still be in JW organization along with all the other drones - or I'd be dead. Given my bent nature, I suspect the latter.

    I thank my brain for my survival. Long may my wonderful 'burdensome' brain remain active and critical. I would hate to be brain dead.

  • snare&racket

    Just to add my few cents......there is nothing wrong with thinking too much!

    However it is good to find mechanisms of cognitive ‘wind down’. For me I love documentaries, podcasts or video games. They require enough brain engagement that they prove a nice distraction and work well.

  • longgone

    Lots of good suggestions! One thing that sometimes helps me is early in the evening I'll Google pictures or paintings of places I've lived or visited that made me happy. This brings those good memories back. 😊

    For example, I might type in "Paintings of Florida Gulf Coast beaches," and it's right there just as I remember it! This makes it easier when I'm actually in bed to visualize being there. Hope this helps, sweet dreams. 🌛

  • Confusedalot

    I experience similar issues, falling asleep late and waking up very early. The mind just doesn't switch off. In my case avoiding caffeine made it a little better. If I only drink a small amount of coffee my mind goes into overdrive and I don't sleep a wink.

    Hope this helps.

  • Bugbear

    James Mixon and neat blue dog..and others,

    It looks like many of us are in the 70 ties. My story is very similar to many of yours. I was an elder, with big doubt’s. But I kept on holding speeches, sheep herding , smiling, doing the service. Studding with my family..this until I totally mentally collapsed. Doctor told me I must “no man can under a longer time keep up with so many missions” it will end in a catastrophe! So I resigned “temporarily” , as un elder, and started to fade…. Missed meetings, slowed down service hours, all with regard to my situation. But my doubts grow. The more time you release for your own thinking, the more you realize the impossibility of soc. teaching. During a period of five years I got 4 hart strokes. This definitively stopped me attending any meeting at all. What a relief. No more high blood pressure..

    Today I spend 2 hours daily obligatory walking in e nearby forests. I count my eagles, my foxes, my moose. Then home, and then spend 2 hours of reading from historical literature, that I can obtain from a nearby university. I have spent 3 years of university studies within the fields of History of Ideas and science. Philosophy and history, exactly the subjects that the socs. thinks no witness should pay any attention to….(I do understand that know)

    But I got my peace in mind, no more hart attacks, no more depression, no mental collaps……but I also got free from a mind prison that unfortunately my wife still is in…

    and I don´t need no sleeping pills anylonger

  • punkofnice

    It's no nice for you Mixy.

    I've tried several things.

    1. Lay on my back and relax. Then I concentrate on relaxing from my toes gradually up my whole body and zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    2. I imagine I can fly. I have to visualise flying like superman from my home to some destination. The visualisation has to be as accurate as possible. Then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    3. I don't recommend this but a little tincture like whiskey.

  • Finkelstein

    James I'd suggest to politely tell your wife she doesn't think enough.

    Mankind has improved the human living experience over concentrative thinking through acquired knowledge, over little thinking pressed upon human ignorance.

    or worse let other ignorant men positioned in self empowering religious cults do the thinking for people.

  • eyeuse2badub

    Hi James,

    I too am 70 and went through what you are currently going through. Leaving the wtbts was a life altering and extremely difficult thing to do. I had similar symptoms to what you have described and if you PM me we can talk and I will share what helped me survive that painful period of time!

    just saying!

  • TheSilence

    I read that you can’t sleep because you’re used to having all the answers and now you don’t. So it sounds like you need to find a way to accept that you don’t have all the answers. Once you do that thinking about what the answers might be is an enjoyable pass time and mental exercise rather than an anxiety inducing obsession that needs to conclude in absolute certainty that you hold the key to the puzzle of life. :)

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