Helping my husband wake up, need advice.

by Whynot 30 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Whynot

    My husband is DFed but he is a prime example of someone who was a puppet for the watchtower. I was able to wake him a little with the sex abuse scandal. He was an elder and is very familiar with those rules. Recently, I mentioned to him how Jehivah was offended when the Israelites wanted a king, a human rep on earth for his people. So this made him realize that Jehovah doesn't want anyone representing him on earth. But after a while he asks me, what about Moses?

    Now, my husband still believes the Bible is infallible. He has never done Biblical research without the watchtower library which is total BS. So I want to use the Bible to help him realize that there's no such thing as a "representative of Jehovah" here on earth. I don't know how to answer about the Moses thing. I did mention that Jesus is who we need to follow and that there was no governing body in the 1st century but he still feels there should be someone setting rules. Help! What do I say? He doesn't feel comfortable watching or reading "apostate" material.

    Keep in mind he is barely starting to wake up and I don't want to bombard him. He gets very emotional since he still wants to believe that there is a religion out there who is the one true religion

  • blownaway

    I would look up this info about how to get someone mentally out of a cult on line. Not many here will know how to psychologically work this. Its delicate. If you push hard they usually grasp on to the cult harder.

  • truth_b_known

    Buy him a Bible that is not the New World Translation. Even my father who is a diehard Witness has stated that the NWT is not the best translation of the Bible.

  • blownaway

    Somehow I don't think a bible KJ or other will be bumping anyone out of the cult.

  • Whynot

    I bought him a book called The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse a few weeks ago. He hasn't read it yet. I'm wondering if this book will help. I'm even thinking of having family study with it just so he can absorb the info lol

  • blownaway

    I would start if it were me not by attacking the cult. But by asking questions. Act as if and maybe you are curious. How is it if we have the right religion that they were wrong on all the dates, how can this be? Did you know about the pyramid and CT Russell? How come it is that the Watchtower uses dating methods to get to all bible dates but for 607BCE and that one is not credible? You can probably think of better questions.

  • The Fall Guy
    The Fall Guy

    Carefully select one of these 14 questions and ask him how he would answer - using his Bible, not the literature.

  • Incognito

    Steven Hassan is a mental health counsellor who specialises in helping families of people involved in cults. Steven is an ex-Moonie.

    He has written various books including "Combating Cult Mind Control" and "Releasing the Bonds". These books may be beneficial for you to read as opposed to your husband as they provide advice on dealing with a cult member and methods to help him to change his thought patterns and recognize matters as they really are.

    Your husband will not consider anything to be wrong with his thinking or beliefs so he would likely be opposed and resist reading anything such as the book you gave him, that suggests there is something wrong with him or the JW religion.

    To remove someone from a cult usually means working against the person's will. Unless your husband recognizes for himself the inconsistencies and wrongness of the religion, expect any success will be a long process that will sometimes involve two steps forward and three steps back.

  • cofty
    I want to use the Bible to help him realize that there's no such thing as a "representative of Jehovah" here on earth.

    Perhaps you can get him to reflect on the inconsistency of the claims being made by the F&DS.

    On the one hand they claim that they are not inspired but are being 'led' by the holy spirit and that they are imperfect and make mistakes.

    On the other hand anybody who sincerely disagrees with them on a matter of substance will be accused of apostasy and DFd.

    One minute submission to their teachings is a matter of life and death and the next they throw away teachings they have held for many years.

    Would it be reasonable to think that if god was using a 'channel' to spread truth on the earth that they would be guilty of major errors?

    'As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him.' - 1 John 2:27

  • carla

    My jw would not read 'The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse', his elders knew I was trying to make him wake up so maybe they warned him off? He wouldn't read anything I gave him even if it was just printed wt literature, claimed apostates could have meddled with it. I told him to to go look it up in the kh library if he liked but wouldn't do that either. Tried to show him certain scriptures that some ex jw's said they never knew about and got them to thinking. His response? "why would I want to read them then? "

    I have since stopped banging my head against the wall and it really does feel much better.

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