A Secret about DF'ing that Elders will not tell you.

by Amazing 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • alfie
    alfie

    Hi Jim, Thanks for posting this information. You're so right when you say many elders aren't aware of this proviso, so it's easy to understand why the R&F don't know about it. Given the methods used and attitudes expressed by so many of the zealots in the organization, it is also easy to understand the reactions of many to your post. However, now that you've enlightened us on the subject, maybe those who are inclined to compassion will use this knowledge in their future dealings with others. Thanks again

    CIAO4NIAO!!!

    alfie

  • Gadget
    Gadget


    Proper View of
    Disfellowshipped and Disassociated Persons


    If an individual is trying to influence others to take an
    unscriptural course or is trying to deceive others, all
    should avoid him; he is described at 2. John 9-11.

    Disfellowshipped and disassociated ones are shunned by
    those who wish to have a good relationship with Jeho-
    vah.

    Basic Scriptural counsel on the proper view of those who
    have been expelled from the congregation is set out in the
    apostle Paul's words at 1 Corinthians 5:11- 13.

    John counsels against speaking to or associating with a
    disfellowshipped or disassociated person so as not to be "a
    sharer in his wicked works." (2 John 11 )

    Scriptural and historical guidelines on how to view
    disfellowshipped and disassociated persons are found in
    The Watchtower, September 15, 1981, pages 20-31.

    We need to be especially cautious about contact with
    disfellowshipped persons who have apostatized and
    those who continue in their immoral conduct. (Titus 3:
    10, 11; 1. John 2:19)

    These can contaminate the congregation like gangrene.
    (2. Tim 2:16-18)

    The principle set forth in Jesus' words at Matthew 10:
    34-38 has a bearing on situations involving disfellow-
    shipped or disassociated relatives.

    Special and difficult problems may arise in relation to
    social gatherings.

    Loyal worshipers of Jehovah will want to adhere to the
    inspired counsel at I Corinthians 5:11.

    Normally, a close relative would not be disfellowshipped
    for associating with a disfellowshipped person unless there
    is spiritual association or an effort made to justify or
    excuse the wrongful course.

    UNIT 5 (a)

    103


  • Gadget
    Gadget

    The problem I can see is, how would the person explain to the elder how they knew what was writen in the secret elders manual? If they admited that they had recieved/been told about it from their df'd relative would this not count a spiritual association because they had discussed Jehovahs Witnesses?

  • Special K
    Special K

    Amazing..

    You are thinking man.. you are thinking.

    It all sounds so good in theory...

    Let me know when you go to your relatives and try this.. I would like to know how it works out for you?

    It certainly, is good information to know though.. at least if you show it to your parents who haven't (in my case) talked to me for 10 years.. Then, if they still don't want to talk to me THEN

    ..I guess it truly is THEIR CHOICE not to do so..

    .. they however, may still be affected by their peers in the congregation.

    Interesting, point. I remember one elder.. He only had a grade 2 education and could barely read.. I wonder how he reads and ponders these deeper things..

    thanks for sharing all of this.

    sincerely

    special k

  • talesin
    talesin

    FYI Here's my experience with this rule.

    My parents have used this rule to maintain contact with me. My Father is an elder.

    We agreed not to discuss doctrine, and that's fine with me! I also make no reference or criticism of the religion. We just leave the subject ALONE.!

    It's no secret to the cong. that I visit with them. But also my family is ... how can I say it ... has been around a long time. I guess they are considered 'very faithful'.

    So just to let folks know, this CAN be used in some situations to allow family contact. However, the rest of my family has no interest in talking to me, so ... I guess it's up to the individuals how they deal with it.

    tal

  • Dawn
    Dawn

    This is used by my family also. My father was an elder and still associated with me - we even went out to dinner together, went shopping, and I took them on a trip. Since he passed on I spend even more time with my mother. We actually do talk about the bible from time to time - I am just careful not to attack the organization - I will present questions to her, but not in a threatening manner. But 90% of our conversations revolve around just every day things.

    It has worked for us - then again, as posted previously, my family has been "faithful" for many years. Also, my mother is now quite elderly and relies on my husband and I to help her out - so I suppose those in the congregation just ignore the fact that I am taking her out to lunch, shopping, movies, etc since I'm also taking care of her yard and her house for her - plus I give her rides to the meetings when she needs them so they must think I'm ok. Of course I'm OK! She's 70 years old - if she wants to go to the meeting I take her - it's not my place to make those decisions for her - it's just my place to love her and take care of her.

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Hi Special K,

    It all sounds so good in theory ... Let me know when you go to your relatives and try this.. I would like to know how it works out for you?

    I guess my extra comments above still do not communicate the concept. Yes, in practice JWs will shun, and many shun whether the relative is DF'd or not ... I did not post this because I thought that JWs practiced it, but precisely because they do NOT practice this ... and my point is to bring it out so that at least maybe some JWs might let it ease their conscience so they can associate with their DF'd relative.

    HI Talesin,

    My parents have used this rule to maintain contact with me. My Father is an elder.

    Thanks! I rest my case.
  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Well Jim , within the text of the paragraph is contained this understanding:

    "A close relative would not be disfellowshipped....unless... there is... an effort made to justify the wrong course".

    So clearly the WT /FDS considers ANY form of association a "wrong course"

  • Surreptitious
    Surreptitious

    RF:

    Pretty sure this is referring to the "wrong course" taken by the disfellowshiped one.

    Syrup

  • refiners fire
    refiners fire

    Syrup.

    A loving , compassionate meek and mild mannered elder might indeed read it that the passage refers to the "wrong course" taken by the Disfellowshipped one.

    But I am a very rigid and inflexible elder when it comes to matters of Holiness before Jehovah. And so I read it that the "wrong course" is any witness hanging out with a DF person for any reason.

    Lol

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