Any Advice - Afteraffects of taking the Reality Pill

by dobby 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Dobby, even though most of my beliefs were either shattered or skewed by WT teachings and the realization after leaving that most were false....and though these personal revelations even extended to my former belief in a lot of scriptures, there are a few things that seem to still ring true and they're what I hold onto....and am reassured by.....the collective theme of the scriptures that refer to an "afterlife" existence......the one where it is said that the spirit returns to the true God who gave it; the one where Jesus refers to the "re-generation" instead of resurrection, and the ones where the apostles refer to our bodies as "vessels" or something like that......this got me to thinking.....if our "spirit" returns to God and our bodies are "vessels" for that spirit...vessels that eventually and always wear out, then the re-generation that Jesus spoke of could very well imply, when taken with the other scriptures, that our spirit, once it has returned to God, can be re-planted or re-generated into a NEW vessel or body to continue on our life's path, being given a fresh start each time, a clean slate, another chance to do something with our lives....Now...I do realize that some people refer to this as a re-incarnation, and in some people's view it holds a negative connotation....that's just semantics to me and I prefer to think that the bible writers had a grip on a few mercurial truths....anyway...this is just my thinking on that subject....and it holds comforting thoughts for me....so I don't worry about death or the future in that respect, I just view it as a pending opportunity for new adventures....works for me...

    Frannie B

  • unique1
    unique1

    Sounds to me like you are depressed. I have felt that way too and I was still in the "truth". I suggest seeing a therapist. Talking with someone unbiased helped me alot and perphaps it would help you as well. Best Wishes.

  • gambit
    gambit

    Dobby,I have been reading a very good, simple book, written by an eastern philosopher, that may help you with some of your thoughts... and help convert them to feelings and emotions... The name of the book is "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. Considering the topics in the book, it is "light on the brain" reading, IMO. Some of the chapters that come to mind are "Hopelessness and Death" and "Curious about existence".

    Her book starts with the statement "Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth"... (I read that as personal truth, not the troof).
    This statement finally explained to me the real meaning behind the saying "Face your fears".

    Also, Dobby, IMHO, based upon your tuned intuition and empathy, you may simply be greiving and for one of the first times in your life you are beginning to become empathetic to yourself... you have had quite a number of losses in the past year or two... start a list... you'll be amazed when you sit quiet and start thinking "How you used to fill your time".... all those "used to's" are losses, whether they were constructive or destructive, and they still require greiving (or atleast acknowledgement and understanding)... I still find it difficult to realize the need to grieve the loss of a destructive trait or behavior, but, at one time it was a means of survival. Deciding that you want to "thrive" in life instead of "survive" in life is a serious, committed decision and it's a bumpier road, for sure.

    But how will I face this with courage?

    You already are ! Think of all the wonderful distractions (religion, alcohol, rage, self-pity, ...) you could put in your life, eliminating the need for the courage you are showing by facing exactly where you are...

    Also, as blackout said -

    Letting go of being a dub, to a certain extent means letting go of having to always be in controll and controlled.

    This is so true...

    gambit ** of the journaling class of healers **

  • Flowerpetal
    Flowerpetal

    It's interesting that though I am still a "dub", I am sort of starting to explore the possibility of what Frannie said.

    But Dobbie, I would also take Tashawaa said--pray. It certainly can't hurt and at least you will have spoken your concerns out loud and you could even ask for peace of mind or ask God to still your mind from these concerns you have.

  • neverin
    neverin

    Hi Dobby

    Although new to posting I thought I might share my thoughts on death with you. Although I have never been an active witness I was brought up by my elder father and 'worldly' mother and tought about the idea of the new system for as long as I can remember. I am now 34 and have gone through many stages of beleif. I recently had minor surgery and for the first time underwent a general anasthetic, the effect of this has made me lose any fear of death itself. I remember the needle going in and then it seemed that the next second a voice was saying 'open your eyes' yet more than an hour had passed. Now I really beleive that death is nothingness, no heaven, no hell, no reincarnation etc just gone. If you think about it you didn't exist before you were born so why should you exist after you die?

    That's not to say that I'm not worried about dying young and leaving my children behind, but I do now appreciate the life I have - because this is it. I can't live my life collectin brownie points to go somewhere better - this life is good and I'm living it NOW!!!

    Take care of yourself and I hope that you will eventually find the peaceful thoughts you seek.

    ReEgards

    Neverin

  • neverin
    neverin

    Hi Dobby

    Although new to posting I thought I might share my thoughts on death with you. Although I have never been an active witness I was brought up by my elder father and 'worldly' mother and tought about the idea of the new system for as long as I can remember. I am now 34 and have gone through many stages of beleif. I recently had minor surgery and for the first time underwent a general anasthetic, the effect of this has made me lose any fear of death itself. I remember the needle going in and then it seemed that the next second a voice was saying 'open your eyes' yet more than an hour had passed. Now I really beleive that death is nothingness, no heaven, no hell, no reincarnation etc just gone. If you think about it you didn't exist before you were born so why should you exist after you die?

    That's not to say that I'm not worried about dying young and leaving my children behind, but I do now appreciate the life I have - because this is it. I can't live my life collectin brownie points to go somewhere better - this life is good and I'm living it NOW!!!

    Take care of yourself and I hope that you will eventually find the peaceful thoughts you seek.

    ReEgards

    Neverin

  • dobby
    dobby

    Thanks so much - the advice you all have given me is wonderful.

    It's so hard for me to function without some idea as to where to go next, but you all have headed me in the right direction. I just need to make some decision now and work this out.

    One thing I was thinking about today is the folks who died as heros on 9/11. It helped me to realize what an honor a brave and meaningful death can be - just as in life you can have honor. And even if your death is not a hero's death, it's good to know that you can go and leave a legacy of love and happiness behind.

    Thanks again for your honesty and kind words.

  • garybuss
    garybuss



    Here's what worked for me. Finish all unfinished business to the maximum extent humanly possible. Notice someone who is worse off than me and has a big challenge. Dig in and help them. Do every dream of mine possible. Take that trip. Reach out for that promotion. Take those classes. Loose some weight. Go to the gym.

    Now, if the worse happens and I die sooner than later, I have no regrets. I leave no unfinished business. I lived my dream. Now treat every person in my life like it's the last time I will ever see them just in case they suddenly die. As a result, personal relationships improve.

    Just some thoughts on life from a work in progress. GaryB

  • Phantom Stranger
    Phantom Stranger

    I personally think that every single exiting JW should find a therapist they like, and read whatever books the therapist recommends, for a year. After all, we have lost of time when we stop going to meetings:)

  • wannaexit
    wannaexit

    What you are feeling is part of the healing process that one has to go through after leaving Jwdom.

    I am still going through some of the feelings you describe.

    Give yourself time and try to focus on TODAY not TOMORROW. In the meantime look for a good therapist to help you through it.

    Hope you overcome your slump soon.

    Wannaexit

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