JW Jokes

by OnTheWayOut 22 Replies latest social humour

  • OnTheWayOut

    They don't want you to donate blood because.....
    .....it might be within the erection of a homosexual act at any time.

    Watchtower tried to become the internet service provider of their members......
    ......but their virus software kept deleting all but 144,000 select files.

    What do you get when you cross a devil worshipper with a Jehovah's Witness?
    Someone who goes from door to door telling people to go to hell.

  • neat blue dog
    neat blue dog

    What does a complex of individually owned apartments have to do with Anthony Morris's birth control?

    They're both a condominium.

  • Phizzy

    Why is a small town in Cheshire, England, known as "God's own town" ?

    Haven't you heard of Jehovah's Widnes ?


  • JRK

    In Rodney Dangerfield's voice:

    I tell ya, I get no respect! The other day a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door, and they told me they weren't interested!

  • Giordano

    So a JW knocks on the door and is invited into a home.

    They sit in the living room and after a rather long pause the house holder says...." So what did you want to share with me?"

    Another long pause and the JW says.."I don't know...I've never gotten this far before."

  • EverApostate

    Turn in your Time sheets (FS reports) but don't get paid, instead pay your employer(Donations).

  • flipper

    In Sam Kinison's voice :

    The J-dubs told me I was on " the road to paradise " ! I found out it was " the road to hell" !

    Aaaaaah ! Aaaaaah ! Aaaaaah ! ( As Sam twirls the microphone around slamming it on the floor ) Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    You might be a Jehovah’s Witness if you have a gold “Torture Stake” hanging on a chain around your neck, instead of a gold cross.

    Inexpensive and readily available technology has made it difficult for JW’s to find people to talk to. Just about anyone can now afford to install an electronic bible detector on their front door.

    You might be a Jehovah’s Witness if having your entire family over for a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving is how you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

  • sparky1

    How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a 'new light' bulb?

    It depends on how many on the Governing Body vote for it.

  • Betheliesalot

    How do you get "new light" from an old Watchtower?

    Set it on fire.

Share this