A question for you women; what was it really like for you being in the Org?

by Tallon 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sparky1

    Jehovah's Witnesses is one mixed up and confused religion. Woman are the BACKBONE of this organization yet are viewed as second class 'citizens'. When I was a young boy in the 1960's I couldn't understand this scenario: There was an old anointed sister in our congregation that had been a school teacher and was a bookkeeper at a car dealership. She kept the 'accounts' for the congregation but was not actually THE Accounts Servant. She was a Book Study Conductor but was not teaching......she was just conducting the study. I always felt sorry for intelligent and accomplished women in this religion. If you had a dick you could hold a position in God's Organization and be a dick too!

  • Scully

    "they covered their heads with Kleenexes and shoes"

    Considering women's place in the Organization™, having a shoe on one's head seems strangely appropriate.

    Personally, I balked at the thought of being Submissive™ to men; I hated it. But then wanting to fit in and not knowing there were other options available to me, I caved in, Humbled™ myself, and toed the line. It did a number on my mental health and I was severely depressed as a young wife and mother, and contemplated suicide more than once. I felt invisible, insignificant and merely a means to support my husband's success within the Congregation™, and someone to entertain Elders™, Ministerial Servants™ and their families while Mr. Scully schmoozed with them over dinners and desserts that I made. I felt like my talents and intellect were completely wasted.

    Once it became evident that the Congregation™ only cared about what they could use us for, at a time when we really could have used their encouragement and support, I didn't care anymore about following their rules. I realized that should we fall into hard times, we needed an additional income to look after our family. I went back to school and became an RN, and somehow in that training, learned how to use my spine without being shamed or apologizing for it. I also learned that JW gender roles and gender biases and sexual obsessions were not the norm in the current cultural landscape, and it was all right.

    It's been almost 25 years since I made that decision, and I have absolutely no regrets about it. I don't know how I actually did it, possibly being so disgusted at the way we were treated and wanting to NEVER need to ask for the JWs' help again were factors that fueled my will to succeed.

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    Anyone remember a skit they had at a two day assembly about a husband and wife that were new to the truth? An elder had stopped by and the couple was arguing over failings they each had. The wife had found articles on what a husband should be like in the truth. Kind, considerate etc. She wanted her husband to be like that. The audience roared with laughter. Because of course, the wife was extremely exaggerated but also, how many sisters were shaking their heads over expecting a husband to be that way? The men were laughing at the silly wife. The elder was like, how can you expect a person to be that way suddenly? It was more of a scolding than anything. Totally made me angry. I don't even remember his gripe.

  • Spiral

    Tallon, I've been giving this thread some thought.

    The biggest problem with being a submissive women in the bOrg is that you might think [convince yourself] that it's the truth, try to "toe the line", be a good publisher, blah blah blah...... but, as a woman:

    Do you even like the organization? You follow the rules, but do you even like it? Do you even like being a JW?

    More and more, I am seeing women (my age, 50+ somethings) quietly dropping out. Some hang on hoping for the new order, seeing dead loved ones, taking care of animals, etc., but when they are honest with themselves, they don't even like being a witness. They don't even like their JW husbands. Elder or not.

    Maybe that's behind that "best life ever" campaign. Brainwashing the women back into submission.

  • ToesUp

    days of future passed

    I remember that skit. The couple that did it is now divorced! lol

    It was a pretty over the top drama! It's funny, that one stuck with me too.

  • eyeuse2badub

    Jw's treat women like all middle eastern cultures, insignificant, second class, or maybe even third class citizens!

    Why? Because jw's pattern their organization based on the old testament which is all about Hebrew mythology and middle eastern culture!

    just saying!

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    What's sad is that many times the WT has had talks that directly put women down. The "silver sword" joke was "It's sister proof" Ha ha ha. They do these put downs and most JW women laugh at themselves. But I wonder how many think later "Why did I laugh?"

  • Spiral

    I'm afraid to ask..... why is the "silver sword" sister proof?

  • ToesUp

    I was "counselled", by the school overseer, that I was teaching from the platform. I'm a female. An experience that stuck with me to this day. So weird!!!!

  • Della Street
    Della Street

    As a capable woman who owned a successful small business, was not interested in pioneering and was not pining for a man - I did not fit the mold. There is no template for that in their social structure.

    The expectation as a single woman was work part-time, pioneer and wait to get married. Once you are married, you pioneer and/or become a servant's wife. These are the only two pathways to any sort of social standing.

    If the elders tried to correct me on anything that I thought was unscriptural, I reminded them that as a single sister I appreciate their "concern" but Jehovah was my head - so if you have an issue with something, take it up with him. That usually shut them up for a bit. :-)

    Since I was not on either of the approved paths and had a strong personality, I was 'shunned' without being shunned.

    As my business grew, and I developed more as a person, I had less and less in common with any of them and I faded out.

    I've returned to attend a few memorials and I have to really prepare myself for the amount of sexist and mysoginistic comments that come flying out of their mouths from the stage. If I ever lost my mind and went back, I don't even know what my responses would be to some of the shit they try to pull.

    It is pretty clear to me that because the men are not allowed to fulfill their desire for achievement secularly, then when they get a position in the organization, they use what little power they are allowed and run with it to satisfy their ego. The abuse of power is endless and mostly unseen.

    Today, I'm finishing my BA degree in psychology, planning on graduate school and attending a secular buddhist community. I feel more intellectually stimulated and emotionally grounded than I have in a very long time. Fading out was the best thing I could have ever done for my self - well, that and A LOT of therapy. :-)

    Leave if you can see the way out - especially if you are a woman.


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