I can't do it anymore.

by Gadget 69 Replies latest jw friends

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Do keep us posted. Dont take her threat as if it couldnt happen-So many have done what they said they would > Do call the Police explain why!!!That she is a JW-I have done that a few times-They KNOW the ratio that it happens in the cult....

  • kgfreeperson
    kgfreeperson

    (((((gadget))))) I'm so sorry you're going through this--but good for you for having the courage to tell her the truth in the face of her distress. You know you have done the right thing, but dealing with her feelings has got to be rough. I hope you have called the emergency number; I hope you can detach somewhat. You can't do for her the work she has to do--dealing with her own feelings. Break-ups are always traumatic. And often dramatic. But she's going to be fine. And so are you.

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    Thanks everyone. I couldn't phone 999 because I didn't know where she was(Not at home), but when I finally got back through to her her mother was there and talking with her. Apparently the reason I couldn't get through was as soon as she hung up on me she called her PO, and her dad, also an elder. Looks like I'm going to be getting a visit/call from them soon. When she asked why I felt that way I done a real bad job of explaining it. If I end up in deep discussions with them on it I might be back with more threads on needing answers to give them.

    Paul

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    So, when she said she was going to commit suicide, she meant emotional suicide?
    She certainly has the presence of mind enough to call two elders.

    I feel for ya, pal.

  • Gadget
    Gadget
    she meant emotional suicide?

    No, she was graphic to me about what she wanted to do.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    I apologise, in advance, if this is wide of the mark..
    ...but it sounds like she's playing on your emotions.

    You've done the right thing, by being honest with her. What kind of marriage could you have, if it's based on her expecting you to get reinstated, and when your heart isn't in it.

    If she threatens it again, I wouldn't hesitate to call 999, as she may need medical attention.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    (((((Gadget)))))

    Plz keep us posted. You did the right thing. It's better to address these issues now than after you are married; trust me.

    And I'm sure that this girl has some wonderful attributes, but it's obvious that she is loyal to an organization of men rather than you. You don't need that type of relationship.

    Right now I can't talk to my wife about any of the Q's that I have RE the WTS; and it's really tough. If I do, she runs to the elders with it so that they can 'correct' my thinking.

    You sound like a wonderful man. If this doesn't pan out [which it sounds unlikely that it will now] I have little doubt that you will find happiness with someone eventually. You will be that much more of an understanding mate for that 'somone' for having to go through this.

    Winston.

  • obiwan
    obiwan

    Gadget, I would certainly bet that your "visit" will be unannounced. Be prepaired for a grilling, they will team up on you. If they ask to speak with you, do it at your house, not at the hall. Get them on your territory. Answer questions in your own time, don't let them hurry you into an answer. But most of all, stand your ground.

    Make sure and ask everyone here for any help you need.

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    One other thing I just remembered, shen said when she told her dad and the po, they said they didn't believe me!!! Don't know if they meant they didn't believe that I don't want to go back, or didn't believe the things I told her about.

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    They may suspect you have done the nasty with someone else and want to run off with her instead of marry your g/f.

    They will be looking for other sin. You don't have to talk to them you know.

    Sorry to hear how she responded with emotional blackmail. It is something JWs are very familiar with. Sounds like she is getting a lot of support.

    The pressure will be on you to admit to some other sin or admit apostasy. In either case it doesn't look good. If you were officially engaged this doesn't go well in the JW world and can be considered as a divorcing so be prepared for them to throw that at you too.

    Be honest without spilling your guts unless you really want out from all of this.

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