JW 'urban legends'

by Steve Lowry 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • heathen
    heathen

    How about the one where a book study began to speak in tounques and have visions and was accused of being possessed by demons .

    I also remember a story in the news quite some time ago where 2 "sisters" were out pioneering and were attacked and stabbed by some gangstas and right there on the news they thanked jehovah for saving their lives .

  • sens
    sens
    How about the one where a book study began to speak in tounques and have visions and was accused of being possessed by demons

    Yer that sounds familar was it the same one where the paintings fell off the wall at the same time? because if it is yep ive heard it.

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Gumman and Winston,

    Brothers please get your stories straight will ya. Freddie's reaction to my query was nothing like you described. As I remember he simply removed a particularly scuffy ole brown shoe, examined it carefully and proceeded to throw it at me.

    Upon examining the shoe, it was evident that Mr Franz had chosen this shoe very carefully, it was encrusted with old Brooklyn Heights dog poo dating back to December 1975. Also the tounge of the shoe had stenciled the word RIGHT in bold black letter's.

    Something very strange tho, the shoe did smell like bbq'd New York Hoagies.

    The way it happened.

    Your brother,

    BearAss

  • smack
    smack

    My grandmother had a friend who bought a fur coat at a garage sale...

    the usual crap about how it wouldn't burn.

    Steve

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    Dannybear...great reply LOL.....

    And by still calling those gossipers brothers you showed a fine fruitage of the spirit. The fourth one I think...what are they again........love, joy, sleepy, dopey, bashful.....Oh I forget the rest.

  • DannyBear
    DannyBear

    Shotgun,

    One thing for sure when dealing with Gumby Bastard.......fruitages of the spirit take on a whole new meaning.

    Of course I never really had any of those, even when I was a sanctified, spirit appointed, so called shepherd of the flock.

    Now 'dopey' seems to be the most inspired of all those fruitages you mention.

    Danny

  • ignorance is strength
    ignorance is strength

    The funniest things I've heard

    1. Star Wars is inspired by Satan (father [lord vader], son [skywalker], and the force [impersonal]; kind of sounds like JW's eh?)

    2. Here's a miracle herb from Australia that will cure all that ails you plus wash your pots and pans.

  • czarofmischief
    czarofmischief

    I'm sure I've mentioned the lobsters before, but what the hey, the stillers are kicking Baltimore's birdbutts all across the field, so I'm in a lenient enough mood to write it again.

    The myth of the lobsters as payment for "spiritual food" comes up every three or four years - in books like "No Man's Blood" where the lobsters are owned by a shellfish merchant JW who offers to pay for his cancer operation in lobster (or he also offered the doctor a bible Study).

    Different versions include the one where a grateful Bible study offers to pay for his education in lobsters.

    Another tale which I've heard involved a Bible study having a picture on the wall of the Crucifixion, with a watcher turned to face out - and the watcher's eyes were astonishingly lifelike and would "follow you around the room." When the Bible study decides to cut up the painting, she bags it up and leaves it in the kitchen by the back door. She hears a bang from the kitchen in the middle of the night, and upon investigation, finds the bag ripped open and two pieces of the painting on the floor - you guessed it, the EYES!

    I say if that's all the demons get up to, then they aren't nearly as threatening as the Society wishes they were.

    Hey, if somebody came into MY room in the middle of the night and started feeling ME up in my naughty bits, I wouldn't complain either! (It's probably just Robdar or tinkerbell, hee hee)

    (Unless it was Hamas, in which case I'd go straight to Simon)

    CZAR

  • Panda
    Panda

    A long, long time ago in the land of MinnieSoda's there was a DC where the dubs sat around the Pizza and told the story of the martial arts Bible Study who took his martial arts pointy weapons and threw them away. But, you guessed it ... they came back. So then the brothers took the pointy demons to a distant trash dumpster, but they came back again... AND this time while in the garage they flew around and stuck into the wall... So no one ever said what happened to the Bible study?

    The Smurfs were big in Wisconsin. Always talking and walking at the KH. Bad Smurf Bad.

    Anything in the shape of a pyramid will cause the demons to attack. I forget all the "facts" of those.

    Ouija boards NEVER burn. Even though many transgressing teens tried over and over and finally prayed to Jehovah. And were saved.

  • sens
    sens
    1. Star Wars is inspired by Satan (father [lord vader], son [skywalker], and the force [impersonal]; kind of sounds like JW's eh?)

    OMG!!! LMAO ...Ignorance, Yer Sounds Bout Right...lol

    2. Here's a miracle herb from Australia that will cure all that ails you plus wash your pots and pans.

    And I have never heard of this....lol

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