JW 'urban legends'

by Steve Lowry 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • Steve Lowry
    Steve Lowry

    I was thinking about some of the old JW urban legends that we grew up with and believed in as JW’s. Most of the ones I remember revolved around stories about demons, and JW’s being "attacked" when they would do something wrong. Some of these ‘legends’ scared the crap outta me when I was little. Guess that was the intended purpose anyway. Here’s a few:

    Lady was in bed reading material not approved by the Society and suddenly she was yanked out of bed with legs pulled apart, only to be thrown out of her second story window.

    While a guy was reading some unapproved literature late one night, he heard voices outside his bedroom window. He looked out the window to see dozens of semi-transparent faces looking back at him.

    I knew an older JW lady who told a story about how one night as she began to lie down for a night’s sleep, she happened to see a purple velvet Cross lying on her pillow. She prayed to Jehovah, and the Cross disappeared!

    That’s all I can remember, but I know there were many more of these kinds of stories. Can anyone remember anymore?

  • Steve Lowry
    Steve Lowry

    Sorry for the double post. Disregard.

  • Scully
    Scully

    There's the one about the Smurf doll who was brought to the KH one day, that got up in the middle of the meeting and said, "I've had enough of this shit" and walked out by itself.

    Another one about a "Sister" going door-to-door alone in a 'rough' neighborhood. She calls at one door and places literature with the man who opens the door. Some time later, she sees a news story about a door-to-door saleslady being murdered, and she recognizes the suspect as the man she placed literature with. (I don't recall how she found this out, but...) Apparently the reason why the man didn't murder her when she called at his house alone was because he saw two very large intimidating looking men standing behind her while she offered the Watchtower and Awake magazines.

    Love, Scully

  • nobody told me
    nobody told me

    A brother came home to find his wife being raped. He subdued the man, called the police and spent the time waiting for the police to witness about the kingdom to this rapist. Believe it or not?

  • shera
    shera

    Scully ,I heard the same story and I believed it too...

  • gumby
    gumby

    How about the one where Dannybear stood up at an assembly during one of Fred Franz "keynote addresess" and said....."prove what your saying is from Jehovah" and fire flew out of Fred's eyes and burned Danny's yard sale polyester suit! That was a doo-zy I tell ya!

    Putting all seriousness aside......I remember a real one.

    In the sixtys the rumour was..........there was a big increase in the bird population...( especially "crows" in southern cal.) I remember my mom telling me Jehovah was increasing the bird population to clean up the mess after he slaughtered all but the dubs at Armaggedon. (she didn't say it like that though, but thats how I percieved it).

    Gumby

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    A wayward sister bought the record of "Age of Aquarius/Let the Sunshine in" against the society's admonishment. She awoke that night to feel something rubbing against her feet. When she pulled back the covers, she saw it.................A headless, reanimated cat was playing with her toes!!!

    When she called upon Jehovah, the cat disappeared! Glory be.

    Here's one that made me ill when I heard it last year from a JW from this forum:

    She was lying in bed when a demon attacked her and tried to sexually molest her. Isn't it funny how the demonz always think that JW women are sexy? Damn! Hell must be very boring and occupied by butt ugly women.

    Robyn

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    One angel killed 185000 Assyrians yet a sister can struggle with him so that she is not raped...do spirit creatures even have a wee-wee?

    In the Vancouver area they have an Assembly hall 1200 seater located in Surrey. There was a huge tree on the donated land which the city would not allow them to cut down in order to build there. One night the tree was literaly split down the middle by a lightning bolt allowing the contruction to move ahead...thank-you Jehover......and thank God there were no tree huggers near it.

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Scully, I heard that one too.... and believed it.

    Dannybear stood up at an assembly during one of Fred Franz "keynote addresess" and said....."prove what your saying is from Jehovah" and fire flew out of Fred's eyes and burned Danny's yard sale polyester suit! That was a doo-zy I tell ya!

    Gumby

    LMFAO!

    Gumby, you sure that instead of the suit being burned it wasn't a Hoaggie being cooked?

    I could have sworn that I heard it was his Hoaggie that was comsumed by fire, even though Dannybear dug a moat around the Hoaggie and filled it with water.

  • sens
    sens

    I remember quite a few...the smurfs were really popular...

    but these really come to mind...

    One was about a sister, who was in bed and a guy had broken into her house, and somehow...ended up under her bed so she lay there witnessing to him for hours (as if) and six months later he was baptised.


    the other one....somewhat weird n abit outthere...

    A couple moved into a demonized house, and every morning after her husband had gone to work and she was still in bed a demon would touch her etc...and anyway...she told her husband, he went to the elders and they asked her why she hadnt tried to get help , and she admitted she didnt want it to stop and anyway according to rumour she was DF.

    whoever made that story up had a pretty sick mind to begin with.(IMHO)


    I also too remember the ''2 angels @ the door story' they sprouted that one out at a assembly once, although they just said it was "sent in as a experience". yer right.


    The other one was demons again....only this time the couple moved into this house, and every morning when they woke up there was a huge pile of cigarette butts on their lounge room floor and their wts books went missing on a regular basis (like anyone would want them)


    A Jw' sister who couldnt have a baby was given a cabbage patch doll by her husband to cheer her up...anyway apparently she became obsessed with the doll, and claimed the doll would talk to her.. anyway one night in bed the doll attacked the husband because it was jealous , so he took it out and tried to burn it and ofcourse it wouldnt burn.

    3 Sens 4

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