Growing up, I always felt there was a higher power and our purpose was more than living a few decades. I now am at a place where I feel closer to God than I ever did attending the Kingdom Hall three times a week for years and years, participating in the weekly preaching work or attending any of the assemblies. When I questioned my feeling of the absence of God at 12 years of age, my mother told me I had just have to have faith. After a long difficult journey, I can say I feel very confident my new personal beliefs are leading me closer to the "truth" than a small group of "chosen ones" ever could.
What I would recommend...download a bible app like bible is and listen to a New Standard/ English Drama version. I thought I knew the bible as I always studied all the literature in depth, looking up all the referenced scriptures and then writing them out into the publication, and I was always told I gave fantastic comments. However, until I listened from Genesis to Revelation, in order, new "truths" became vividly clear to me. I listen to the bible three times in one year and every time I felt more confident in what is really being taught in the bible. More importantly I was starting to feel I was developing a genuine connection with God, especially when the "a-ha!" moments came to me.
Please, don't lose your faith in God, but lose all faith in organized religion showing you a clear path. I believe many contain "truths", but the contamination of their other teachings act like smoke and mirrors to keep us from knowing the "real truth". What is that? The real truth is we all have to find our own relationship God. It is not mediated through "chosen ones" or an organized religion, it is a personal journey. You can start very simply, pray for guidance and then listen to a good drama version of the bible, listen to all the books in order. First time, just listen and bookmark scriptures that resonate with you. Second time, start to make notes of new understandings you are starting to have and note questions for further research. The third time, really start to look into some of the new understanding you have come to have. Use the internet to research multiple sources. Use your educated discernment and look at opposing viewpoints to ensure you are confident in what you believe (yes, this is contrary to what the organization teaches).
Personally, I have kept some of the organizations teachings, those that are bible based. However, I have discarded many, such as an earthly hope for a heavenly hope (the new earth in the bible is not cleaning up corpses, dismantling and cleaning up polluting operations, etc. to make an earthly paradise), I try to observe the Sabbath as it is one of the 10 commandments, (this is a struggle for me, but the 10 commandments were never abolished making them still valid, even Yoshua (Jesus) said to pray the tribulation did not come in the winter or on a Sabbath- if it was no longer necessary, why would he mention this day at tribulation time), I no longer use the names Jehovah or Jesus, but Yahweh and Yoshua (the Jewish language does not contain the letter "J" and we do not change how we pronounce our names when traveling to different speaking countries, so why would we change such sacred ones?), 144,000 is figurative (in context with the verse) and the governing body are merely self-appointed corporate CEO's sharing leadership in false prophesying (more bible evidence to show that arrangement is not God ordained than they use to support it and there is a long history of failed prophecy from the governing body), I came to recognize with new understanding the tree of life and it's significance throughout the scriptures and prophecies (this significance is virtually ignored by the organization in the account of Adam and Eve in order to better support a promise of an earthly paradise). These are just a few changes in my beliefs, but they are significant enough to forever impact my relationship with family and members of the organization.
Was it worth leaving and the repercussions that comes with it? Yes! I speak from my personal experience when I say, there is nothing more refreshing in starting to find the real truth and knowing God is accessible through Christ alone. My hope is that more people realize that the organization is not God and that self-appointed "chosen ones" do not control our access to Him.
Good luck in your personal journeys.