As a JW did you ever date in secret?

by Victorian sky 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • tinkerbell82
    If this current relationship ends, I have promised myself to not date for a while, and then to only date women. Men are so complicated sometimes...

    change that to "men are so simple sometimes", and you have my current situation and sentiments EXACTLY!!!!!! i'm completely serious!

    ps, congrats on making jr member! :)

  • SixofNine

    I like shiny things.

  • Beans

    I think that was his "Elder Initiation", but yeah I dated in secret " WORDLY GIRLS"

  • tinkerbell82
    I like shiny things.

    that's because you're half magpie, silly :P

  • kgfreeperson

    I am very curious about this in light of the "two witness" rule. For example, if a husband goes to an elder and says "I suspect my wife . . . ." is he counseled to leave it to Jehovah unless he has two witnesses and those two witnesses have to come forward without being asked? (Is this an accurate summary of the two witness rule?) Also, is a suspected adulterous relationship more likely to be overlooked if it is a brother rather than a sister (assuming only one is in a congregation)? If it is a "couple" within a congregation, is he likely to be more lightly punished than she? Is adultery more likely to be uncovered by one of the party's being overcome with guilt and confessing? Or is it more usual for someone else to do the unconvering?

  • pamkw

    It was never in secret.I stated dating a non jw man when I was 19, he was 29. I didn't keep it a secret but because my family was so umimportant, no one noticed. I would have gotten away with it if my mother hadn't ratted me out. She let my step dad kick me out of the house and I had no where to go, but she had to tell on the only place I was welcome. No wonder we don't get along so well now.


  • jwbot

    Tink: My guy is more complicated than a girl :( so much emotion sometimes!

    Pam: At 19, maybe being kicked out of your parents house was a good thing? I was booted out at 17, not so bad either, forced me to go to college, get a job, etc. best thing ever.

  • Stacy Smith
    Stacy Smith
    I have promised myself to not date for a while, and then to only date women. Men are so complicated sometimes...

    Switching teams can be fun

  • greven
    I would just tell them that my parents were really strict and super religious and that the consequences were dire if I got caught. Most of the time, they understood, but after being with them for more than a month, it would become evident that hardly being able to see eachother, to secretly talk on the phone, to sneak out, etc...was not healthy, but it was my way to try and hold on to a normal existance and develop as a person.

    Jwbot describes here pretty much my experiences in that field. It was exciting and all but the secrecy really messed it up in the end. The relationships did't last longer than say two or three months. Had a lot of fun though. And you really learn how to lie well in such a period. I firmly believe most jw-youngsters lead a double life like that.


  • integ


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