As a JW did you ever date in secret?

by Victorian sky 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Victorian sky
    Victorian sky

    Did you ever date a dub-ya or a nondub in secret while active? I did, with a MS who said we had to keep our relationship on the down low 'cause he was being considered for the big E and he didn't want the brothers and the C.O to quesiton his personal life, now that's code for 'I don't want the elders to know I'm making out on non-meeting nights! The only reason I fell for that bull was because he was a great kisser and he was passed over for Elder before and it really bothered him so I kept my mouth shut. Little did I know he was telling a good friend of mine the same sob story. Yep, the snake was dating us at the same time. After he got his JW promotion we both found out and dumped his two timing ass. So much for Elders are princes appointed by holy spirit - I think not! - V Sky

  • tinkerbell82

    yes. it was the only way i could date! no jw boys though :X

    sigh, memories of sneaking out of my window at night, inevitably getting scratched up by the shrubs that mom just HAD to plant right beneath my window sill....this is taking me back...:P

  • stillajwexelder

    No -- I was married when I became a JW -- and no I did not commit adultery -- but I know quite a few who dated in secret and a few that committed adultery -- I sat on 3 committees that I remeber

  • Nosferatu

    I dated another girl who was studying when I was 15. The shit really hit the fan when she came to the house and my JW mother answered! Then, an investigation took place. My mother asked her what congregation she was from, bla bla bla, and them my mother went and found out that this girl came from a real crappy family, and she was only studying, yada yada.

    As for dating non-jws, there were quite a few of them :)

  • run dont walk
    run dont walk

    all the time, How do you bring up JW land with someone who knows nothing about it ???

    My parents/family had no clue what I was doing or who my friends were, and that's the way I kept it.

  • Stacy Smith
    Stacy Smith

    With non dubs all I'd say is "my parents are religious freaks" so it wasn't a problem. With dubs it was just play around and we all knew enough to be quiet.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    No, but I met a few worldly "hotties" while I was a dub with whom the sexual tension was immediately evident....I wanted to "conduct a study" with the fireman I met at his door while I was out in field service and I could tell the feeling was mutual..(fans self)......then there was another "hottie" that came to literally plow my a play on words....I was planting a garden and he used his roto-tiller to plow up the furrows for me....there was a lot of between us....I was SO relieved when he left....(whew)

    Frannie B

  • jwbot

    I dated guys in school a lot, I do not think I was really ever single for long since 8th grade. It was fun, nothing much happened, I really could be trusted in that reguard. I would just tell them that my parents were really strict and super religious and that the consequences were dire if I got caught. Most of the time, they understood, but after being with them for more than a month, it would become evident that hardly being able to see eachother, to secretly talk on the phone, to sneak out, etc...was not healthy, but it was my way to try and hold on to a normal existance and develop as a person.

    Only once have I dated a JW. I feel that most JW men are sexist assholes. The guy I dated was not, at all...we actually talked about marriage, and he was very much a feminist and beleived that what they watchtower teached about women was completely misguided and false (and served to make the men feel important). We broke up though, lived 2 states away, I really regret not keeping in touch with him though, he is a great guy.

    At this point in time, I am deeply involved and in love, but lately, things are not right, we seem to fight so much. If this current relationship ends, I have promised myself to not date for a while, and then to only date women. Men are so complicated sometimes...

  • jwbot


  • jwbot


    not a newbie no more! :)

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