They want what I call hospitality? I hope they like Christmas music the whole time, with my sun-worship lights on (all summer). Or, Led Zeppelin music. And I will "forget" about their dietary restrictions, and deny any liability for anything that happens as a result. Their sole recourse is not to be stupid enough to ask me again.
They don't provide me with anything but curses and bad luck, so they don't deserve anything from me except getting sick and having their bad luck right back. And "sick" doesn't mean this wimpy coronavirus. I mean Spanish flu sick.