I also think we should be who we are. But some people aren't all that nice to begin with. But, why not go out of our way to please people, too? I don't think that's all that bad.
Do You Try To Make People Feel Comfortable Around You?
by minimus 34 Replies latest jw friends
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moonwillow
No some people aren't at all nice to begin with. Maybe it's a wall they put up called fear?
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Ravyn
Some people may not believe me when I say this, but I really don't like to be unkind. It makes me feel sick when I think I am going to have to rip someone's heart out to get their friggin attention. In offline reality--arguments are not something I back down from, but they usually end for me in shaking puddles because I hate having to argue my point and I get downright ill and shake and cry. Like anxiety attacks.
I find cruelty to be very unpleasant and uncomfortable. I don't like to see it or to be involved in dishing it out. But I do think sometimes it is necessary 'to be cruel to be kind'-- but I hate it.
I try to avoid uncomfortableness, who doesn't? But I hate causing it more than putting up with it. So usually I go out of my way to avoid it. But it has been my experience that the fastest way around unpleasantness is sometimes right thru the middle of it. What can I say? My husband calls it my Louisville Slugger Solution and says I am a Marine.
Now when it does not mean a confrontation, yes I try to make people comfortable. I look to their needs. I just enjoy being hospitable. I like to please others. I used to have a problem saying NO, but I don't think I do anymore. There can be a nobility in service that is refreshing.
Ravyn
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kgfreeperson
Yes! I do! I like to be liked! I like to be with people who aren't feeling defensive and unhappy, so I am careful not to do things that might make them feel defensive and unhappy! And I'm old enough (did I mention I just had a birthday?) that I don't think that's a bad thing.
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minimus
The older we get, the mature we should become..... It's good to see that we want to be nice to people. Besides, the nicer a person is, the easier it is to like them..... There's just no reason to make others feel unwanted here unless their they are terribly misbehaving.
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Frannie Banannie
Yes, ever the nurturer, I always try to reassure others with sagging self-esteem and try to make everyone comfortable....sometimes there are people who seem to thrive on pushing others' negative buttons....in that case, though I may initially bristle, I try to tactfully contact them privately and let them know that even though their angst is perfectly understandable under the circumsances, that there are certain things in their manner of posting that can be offensive to others who are sincere in their opinions and suggest the "walk a mile in their shoes" cliche....
Frannie B
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minimus
Frannie, your wisdom sounds like it's from a person that understands what life is all about.
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Panda
If I find out that I hurt someones feelings I immediately try to make them feel better. So yeah I'd go out of my way to make people I like feel comfortable. But people I don't like --- I'm positively Antarctic.
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freedom96
I have always desired someone to feel comfortable around me. I have never been the type to lash out against someone just for the sake of doing so.
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tinkerbell82
i can't stand it if people feel uncomfortable when i'm around. i generally go out of my way to be nice to everyone as much as i can. my mom says i have a tender heart, and who can argue with a mom? ;)