A Gentle Reminder (page 6)

wasasister

I suppose what confuses me is not so much how people choose to conduct their intimate lives, but the need to share the details of that intimacy. If a person decides to seek more than one partner and it does no harm to any party, so be it. Maybe it's my nature, but my private life is just that, PRIVATE. My moral compass does not include sharing details about romantic trysts, semi-nude pictures, positions, or other personal matters with the public at large. All of my lovers (not a huge throng, I assure you, Gentle Reader), at least know that the chronicle of our interludes will not end up on an internet discussion board...or any other place for that matter.

COMF, I really admire your humor, your quick wit, your kindness, and your intelligence. But it comes down to:. I just don't "get" you. I guess we have already ascertained that fact, huh? Some irony that I know way more about your love-life than I do about my best friend's. Did someone question you so that you felt compelled to post this? Was it in response to something you yourself revealed, and if so, why did you reveal it?

Wishing you well with whatever path you choose,

Wasa

tinkerbell82

rob, thanks for putting into words what i could only express with smilies

Robdar

Tink, my pleasure. Seeing your post reminded me that I wanted to respond to Micheal's earlier today but had to go to work instead. Can you believe that somebody still believes those old male v. female myths? That sort of thing always surprises me.

Rob

SixofNine

Can you believe that somebody still believes those old male v. female myths? That sort of thing always surprises me.

Doesn't surprise me, but I did learn long ago that it is much more unusual for a woman to be faithful than for a pure-as-the-driven-snow man-in-the-image-of-god like myself to be faithful

Aztec

Comf,

"I think our longing for exclusive devotion stems not from love, but from insecurity. We've found something that makes us feel accepted and secure, and we want to keep it to ourselves because if someone else gets some too, we may lose what we're getting."

Okay, maybe I do have the opposite position..LOL! Perhaps you are on a different plain of existence than I. Who knows? The very few times I have felt something akin to love I've gotten very attached and wanted them to be with only me. Not that I minded if they looked but definately no touchie! The extreme intimacy of sex is not something I would share with just anyone if I was in love. Not that I have a problem with no strings attached sex. However, if you are in love with someone, that kind of intimacy is cheapened, in my opinion, if you share it with others. It's not that I'm afraid of losing anything but of perhaps, not gaining something. Okay, why is the phrase cognitive dissonance resounding in my head?

~Aztec

COMF

Did someone question you so that you felt compelled to post this? Was it in response to something you yourself revealed, and if so, why did you reveal it?

Wasasister,

it was in response to a development, yes. Ostensibly it happened on the board, but some of it took place in private. Those involved know why I posted this, and to whom. Teejay to the contrary, I really don't have any interest in broadcasting my sexual preferences to the public at large. Perhaps that's why I've had nothing to say on this subject for a year.

Fred

patio34

This seems very obvious to post, but I will.

There's a broad range of human involvement. Although humans tend to be serial monogamists, there is variation. One can't really look to evolution or animals to decide the question because chimpanzees (our closest relative) are polyamorous. Many birds are mostly monogamous.

Some don't want to be involved unless it's a commitment, others are like Comf; and it can vary at times of their lives. This was Comf's position that it was different when having children and raising them than it is when one is past that.

Why do we all have to make everyone fit into narrow borders?

Live and let live, two consenting adults, and all that.

Pat

A Gentle Reminder