A Gentle Reminder

by COMF 56 Replies latest social relationships

  • StinkyPantz


    Although I am in 90% agreement with your position, it is weird that you'd bring this up "out of the blue". Especially since someone has been talking about meeting up with you for days. . .

  • Englishman

    My twopennyworth:

    All relationships surely start out as polymorphic? When we first meet someone, we don't immediately throw off every other relationship just to concentrate wholly on the new one, that might only be a few minutes old?

    It's only with the passage of time, which will vary considerably in length, according to the individual, that the new relationship becomes more exclusive, and eventually, the only relationship of its type in each of the lover's lives?

    Surely, this exclusivety between lovers is actually a maturing process of the relationship? If we say we want other partners as well, then we are saying that this relationship is not enough to satisfy one.

    Regarding Kahlil Gibran's take on the matter, while he may have written many wise words in his time, let's remember that he is talking from the perspective of a Moslem, many of whom have several wives and a considerably different culture in the general treatment and status of their women folk.


  • teejay

    >>>> This is a reminder, as the title states. It highlights a post that is one year old, and a position that is three years old. I've been quite frank about it, both here and at the start of relationships I've had since adopting the position.


    You're not gonna believe this, but no more than a week ago I was thinking whether or not COMF felt the same about monogamy as you once did. Thanks for starting this thread and clearing that up. I have one less thing to worry about now.

  • StinkyPantz


    Over the last few days you have consistently made me laugh. Thank you so much!!

  • SheilaM

    Comf you have a PM

  • teejay

    >>> Over the last few days you have consistently made me laugh.

    You know what they say about a man that makes a woman laugh... :D

  • obiwan


    black sista/ho thang

    I do upon request. SP, I think you and I need to get together.

  • COMF

    it is weird that you'd bring this up "out of the blue"

    Not out of the blue, hon.

    I have one less thing to worry about now.

    Always glad to help a brother in need, Teej. How many things to worry about does that leave, now?

  • Aztec

    Okay Comf, I suppose I should apologize for my remark. Chalk it up, at least in part, to insomniatic crabbiness. I actually have always liked you but the timing of this post kinda surprised me. I'm glad you all had a good weekend btw. I've known several couples who tried open relationships and they all tanked big time. Several divorces were a result of this including two of my sisters which is probably why I had a visceral reaction. Perhaps these sorts of relationships work out for some. Personally, I couldn't get into it because I prefer the intense intamacy of exclusivity. When I was younger I could have enjoyed this sort of relationship but as I've aged and, to a degree, matured I've come to realize that I need something else. A non monogomous relationship just doesn't appeal to me anymore.

    If it works for you than go for it.


  • COMF

    Thank you, Aztec. Yes, this way of life does bring inherent complications. We of Christian upbringing have monogamy so deeply ingrained in us through culture and indoctrination that we have trouble distinguishing those sources from universal truth (David, Solomon and the woman at the well notwithstanding).

    XW and ShielaM, you have replies to your replies to my replies. What I sent doesn't show up in my "sent" folder so I can't know for sure that you got it. Why don't we switch to using [email protected] for any further emailings.


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